Reformed shopaholic? please can you give me the benefit of your advice

Frogletina

Anglea wrote: »

Hi girls

Fr did you stay in all the time, if you went out did you have a good time, did you cook for him etc I'm trying to avoid other obvious questions

As to not knowing how long he's staying, if he's turning up etc I couldn't do that. There is no way I'd be messed around like that. It's bad enough when DS does it let alone someone who is supposed to be my FWB.

I think FR, you don't believe you are important enough, correct me if I'm wrong.

We stayed in - we got a taxi home from the station as it was pouring with rain.

I didn't cook, I had homemade quiche, cold potato, salad and boiled eggs (which I now know he doesn't eat) Also my homemade bread.

I didn't ask in advance how long he was staying, he had said a few weeks ago that he would stay a couple of days when he could - I didn't want that to be the first think I asked when he came. Will ask him before he comes next time.

Interesting question as to whether I think I am important enough. Will have to ponder that one, do you mean to him or myself?

CompletelyLost

Anglea wrote: »

Hi all

CL, I've talked about MSE to people and been surprised they've heard of it but only the website not the forum. The only person I know that has used it is DS when he first introduced me to it.

Strangely enough MM mentioned something about bargains on the site the other day and I was stunned completely forgetting we met on here

As to your shyness, another question. Is it just in real life? You seem ok on this thread, how about other places on MSE or other sites?

I wonder if FR has thought about us at all since her young man has arrived?

Re the avoidance list. I'm currently in the middle of doing a very large chore I put off all day. Serves me right!

I'm not the same online... I mean I have the same thoughts and personality, but it's so much easier to convey my thoughts in writing. I've improved so much over the years though... I really do think it's just one of those things I have to work on and will get over in time. I feel ok today, just some days my annoying quietness gets me down... like the hot guy incident, haha
2012 = I WILL make the effort to interact with people more. I have to. My mum always says she worries about when she is old, that I won't have anyone... and she's right, and that's something that worries me a lot.

FR I'm glad to hear your meeting was a good one

What's the chore that you've been doing, Ang?

I'm having a hell of a time with learning to drive, it's actualy filling me with dread ... I've had so many lessons, that my mum has said he's obviously stringing me along to make money out of me. I feel ready to take my test but he has told me that I can't book it until my little mistakes are all gone.
My mum has told me to book lessons with another instructor and explain my situation... which I'm currently avoiding. Do you think it's worth me getting another instructor's opinion on my driving??? Nothing ever goes smoothly for me I can't afford many more lessons, as basically I just don't have the funds, so I just dunno what to do!

ziggles, I have to say I've never had my nails done professionally. I have the biggest nail polish collection ever though! I'm not sure I could deal with false nails... I keep my own nails short, as like you said, they tend to get in the way and make life difficult! Plus I doubt falsies would last 5 minutes on me = £25 wasted But if they cheer you up and you aren't going without the necessities in order to pay for them, then I say keep getting them done.

Frogletina

CompletelyLost wrote: »

I'm not the same online... I mean I have the same thoughts and personality, but it's so much easier to convey my thoughts in writing. I've improved so much over the years though... I really do think it's just one of those things I have to work on and will get over in time. I feel ok today, just some days my annoying quietness gets me down... like the hot guy incident, haha

Hi CL

I find it easier to communicate online. Like yourself though, I improved over the years and only occasionally find that I have problems in real life.

It usually takes me a while to get comfortable with new people, which is why speaking online with someone first and getting to know things about them before I meet them is much easier for me. If I see someone who I like when I am out, I find it more difficult to get into conversation with them.

Even general friendships I have had difficulty with, especially female. But when I do make a friend then usually it is a friend for life, which is really nice. But I still only have a few, and I love coming on here as I seem to have doubled my friends! :j

Anglea

Hi girls

Fr when I asked about 'being important' I was thinking of how you view yourself. I know that young men can be quite unaware of how their vagueness affects others.

CL - about the driving. Can you mum tell your current instructor you're leaving?

As to that chore I'm doing - groan - hope to finish tomorrow. I've even decided not to turn on skype this evening just in case DS called as I wanted to get more done and now I'm exhausted.

I'm spring cleaning and getting the house ready for upcoming visit as well as DS coming home and Christmas. However, because I only started Monday night, I've hit a lot of problems. I got a call from the plumber, he's coming tomorrow afternoon - just the time I planned to do food shopping. It's completely thrown me and caused a lot of problems for me today - out in the horrendous weather and having to do all my errands in one go, all after the craft club, and I couldn't get everything as I had too many heavy bags.

When I got home I was too tired and wet to continue with cleaning until really late tonight. I then managed to drop loose tea over the kitchen sink area :mad:

Socialising, CL in many ways it's swings and roundabout. You know how chatty I am and I must know hundreds and hundreds of people here, yet how many do I ever make arrangement with? None.

The other day mum said to me I ought to try doing all my shopping in another town as I must have run out of strangers as I knew so many people here. She can't understand why I have such trouble finding friends.That's because she will be with people that bore her rigid or mess her around, whereas I won't do that anymore. A lot of people I really like aren't available the same time as me and lead very busy lives with families.

Online friends are much easier to find.

I can't believe I've only got one day until MM arrives. I don't know what to think anymore, it seems surreal.

CL what colour nails do you like?

What are you all doing tomorrow?

Frogletina

Anglea wrote: »

Hi girls

Fr when I asked about 'being important' I was thinking of how you view yourself. I know that young men can be quite unaware of how their vagueness affects others.

I'm spring cleaning and getting the house ready for upcoming visit as well as DS coming home and Christmas. However, because I only started Monday night, I've hit a lot of problems. I got a call from the plumber, he's coming tomorrow afternoon - just the time I planned to do food shopping. It's completely thrown me and caused a lot of problems for me today - out in the horrendous weather and having to do all my errands in one go, all after the craft club, and I couldn't get everything as I had too many heavy bags.

I can't believe I've only got one day until MM arrives. I don't know what to think anymore, it seems surreal.

What are you all doing tomorrow?

Still thinking about whether I feel I am important, Anglea. I think I have not felt important to many people for a long time and therefore I don't expect much for myself. It is something I think I need to address.

One day to go! Do you have butterflies? I know what you mean about being surreal - I was feeling that even this time. I was worried Bym was going to want me to meet him the station while I was still waiting for the central heating man to come. I would have had to get him to get a taxi here.

I am sure you will get everything done. So long as the important areas are clean, perhaps you can make liberal use of cupboards. We will await your updates as soon as.

I did text Bym at about 2, and he sent me a nice message about 4.

Tomorrow I have to read the book for my book club which meets on Thursday. Left it a month again!

I still haven't cleared up properly from yesterday. Will fit that in tomorrow too. It was lovely when Bym arrived, but I got lots of things out to show him, photos, things I have about my family tree and other bits and pieces.

Anglea

Hi all

FR have you started that book yet?

I just got a call from MM, his home phone is finally working again. We've now arranged it that he could stay over if we are getting on really well by the time he would have had to leave.

Instead of worrying about it, I'm going to try and imagine it's a female online friend like one of you coming to stay.

Thing about online relationships is that people don't see the real you and habits, house, clothes etc.

FR, how did you feel when BYM first visited you?

I'm having a deja vu of FR and the plumber. I feel like I can't do anything until he's been and gone.

ThinkingOfLinking

Hi all, how are you?

Any sign/news from NG?

CL, are you ok? Was looking for you on FB the other day and you weren't there.

Frogletina

Hi Anglea

No, not yet started the book.

I made a list of everything to do today, now they are finished the book should be started in about 10 minutes.

Not sure if you remember, but Bym didn't arrive the day he was meant to and I didn't get his message until I was at the station. So by the time he came the next day I'd had 24hrs of the butterflies.

But as soon as we met at the station I soon realised things would be ok - first impressions and all that. It was strange walking back to the house, we didn't say that much to each other - the usual pleasantries, how was your journey etc. Then once inside you know you are still strangers and it takes a little while to relax, and be comfortable in each others presence.

It felt remarkably similar when I was on my way to see him again - but when I saw him at the station and he smiled at me I knew things would be fine.

He's not messaged me since yesterday, and he was on msn when I switched on the laptop today. I said hello, but didn't get a response and he is now offline. I'm trying not to get paranoid - I accept he may be busy and didn't see my message straight away. I don't think men understand the importance of just a few words to women. Maybe he thought I'd want a half hour conversation with him, but just to know he was thinking of me would have been enough!

Yes, regarding your plumber - you are having that feeling of inertia that I had.

Just take a few deep breaths before MM comes, be yourself, count to ten and good luck

You can always PM me, you might have questions you don't want to ask here

Anglea

Hi all

FE, nice to see you here. NG's not been around much lately. The main topics lately have been our personal lives, this week FR has met up with her young man and tomorrow I'm having a visit from a man I've met on MSE in the summer, we don't know what each other looks like. How are things with you?

FR, I'm really glad BYM turned up as expected this time. As to him not replying when you know he's online, I remember saying something similar to MM and he said that he liked to leave writing to me until he had a lot of time to respond as he enjoyed it.

Or it might be like DS when he goes online, and hundreds of people all log into whatever site he's using, he doesn't notice all the messages.

As it happens I just got an email from MM but it wasn't chat, just something important he sent me.

Plumber has left. I started a number of things while he was here and now regret it as all needs putting back..

MM said that he might be quiet when he first arrives as it takes him time to get used to new circumstances. I said I'm not like that and am always chatty. I suppose I'm expecting it to be like it is on the phone but have to accept that it might not be.

What questions do I need to pm about?

Frogletina

Anglea wrote: »

...tomorrow I'm having a visit from a man I've met on MSE in the summer, we don't know what each other looks like.

FR, I'm really glad BYM turned up as expected this time. As to him not replying when you know he's online, I remember saying something similar to MM and he said that he liked to leave writing to me until he had a lot of time to respond as he enjoyed it.

Or it might be like DS when he goes online, and hundreds of people all log into whatever site he's using, he doesn't notice all the messages.

MM said that he might be quiet when he first arrives as it takes him time to get used to new circumstances. I said I'm not like that and am always chatty. I suppose I'm expecting it to be like it is on the phone but have to accept that it might not be.

What questions do I need to pm about?

That sounds quite strange, not knowing what MM looks like. I had loads of photos of Bym before I met him - still, people are never quite the same when you see them face to face. I took a couple of photos when he was here, which I like because he looks exactly as I saw him, if you see what I mean.

I feel a bit better now that he didn't respond. I never know whether to say anything when I see he is online, I don't want him to think I wouldn't say anything if he was online, but men are a different breed, aren't they, and don't analyse things the way we do.

Perhaps if MM is quiet he won't mind you being chatty. I prefer others to talk more - I'm the quiet one, and prefer answering questions to asking them. Perhaps that's why it is hard to ask Bym the things I want to. I'd rather he volunteered information than me have to ask.

Bym never speaks to me on the phone. He said he had loads of minutes on his mobile as he never uses them, I didn't suggest he rang me. I have unlimited texts, no minutes - and don't like to ring as it would seem he prefers texting. I think I am better at saying what I want to when writing things down - no getting tongue tied.

As to what questions you might have Anglea , as I said, I only have answers to questions!