Reformed shopaholic? please can you give me the benefit of your advice

Anglea

Hi CL

I'm wondering if we can help you. Do you think your problem is mainly around men or is it women too?

Not that I'm advocating getting drunk, but have you ever been on pub crawls or places like Blackpool?

I'm wondering if you have always had this fear or did something happen to bring it on?

Frogletina

Hi all

Hope everyone is ok

I'm off to a party tonight. I do want to go but not really in the best of spirits. Don't want to put a damper on the whole proceedings

Just need to decide what to wear (I know, should have decided long ago)

Wish me luck, I think I am going to need it

ziggles50

Good luck Frog- best foot forward and you'll be fine.:)
@CL- how you doing? Aint nobody laughing at you on here so don't think like that.
As for the boys thing- it happens to all of us- i tend to become very loud and rude/dirty when in 'those' situations thereby sabotaging myself and making sure they would NEVER see me as 'tha' type of girl that anyone would go out ith- just he crazy chick who can party with the boys:(
As for the parental letting go- i think it must be a constant battle to let them do their thing, alongside worrying about wrong choices etc and pointing them in the right direction. well that's how it feels for me. Sometimes dad doesn't care, then he does, then he says no-one listens to me then he pokes his nose in, makes edicts then get's annoyed when no-one is paying any attention.:cool: stepmum is always just there though- I suspect it's just her waiting for us to go to her so shes not accused of poking her nose in!

Just back form FWB's good grief- tea and toast for brekkie unbidden...who can understand it:eek:. I got stuck twice going to his-I managed mysef the first time then got stuck just near his house and he came and drove my car up for me. i really shouldn't have gone in that weather last night but was very down last night so needed the distraction. Must be something in the air Anglea

Anglea

Hi all

Hope FR is enjoying the party. Sorry I seem to have passed along the depressed mood to you and Ziggles

Ziggles, you got breakfast!!!

Are you feeling any better? Glad you were ok with that bad weather.

I've had to completely change my outfit choices for next week. I've currently got everything out all over 2 beds which need to be put away. I hate doing that.

Re parents what made me laugh is when Dad asked how long MM was visiting then asked if he's was staying for a few days? This is the man that is paranoid about strangers off the internet!

So your FWB is literally a secret from your parents Ziggles?

ziggles50

Hey anglea- it wasn't you with the depressed thing- just chickens coming home to roost- i did something a few years ago and sometimes it rears it's ugly head.:(
i do feel better though- to be honest that's the single reason why i decided to carry on with FWB in the first place- escapism.:o
My whole life is a secret from the parentals...we just don't talk/bond like that. With my mum i always feared info being used against me in the future (she often did this and it hurt...a LOT) and i don't have that type of relationship with dad- i would say we're close but we don't do personals. i might tell my brother if he was here but he'd freak and lecture me on how unsavoury i am- he thinks i am a bit of a nut where boys are concerned- i used to party with him and his pals in my late teens-early 20s (they're 2yrs younger than me) and sometimes get involved with them:D:p:o:D. i grew up and learned to be insecure and sort of appropriate though;)

Anglea

Hi ziggles

Whatever the cause of your low mood, glad you are better today. I think that all of us probably have a lot in common hence the reason we've still here even though the nature of the thread has changed a lot. We talk more about our personal lives than shopping these days.

I'm a bit annoyed with myself for having the types of conversations I have now with parentals because in the past I never shared anything and avoided all the hassle. Today I managed to restrain myself from saying anything about MM but it was hard as I was itching to. I left there feeling so relieved I didn't say anything as there wasn't any arguments for once.

Do you think that you could settle down one day - would FWB be a possibility?

I had a massive clothes declutter - black bag of them for recycling, I removed some of the buttons. Now drinking neat Pimms and ice. Looks as though MM is unavailable tonight unless he emails later. I had a very quick skype last night.

ziggles50

I would like to say we are totlly pathetic- online on a saturday night. i had my tea at 5 ( particularly unsatisfactory lidl pizza and coleslaw:mad:) and have been in my bed since all nice and warm and boring:D
Oh boy Anglea- is life getting in the way of your late night chats? Haha- it used to happen to me- going to work and stuff was just an annoying part of my life that interfered with the fun boy involved bits;)
I sometimes feel the urge to spill my guts to the monster (she wouldn't judge me or use the info against me) for measured, grown up, advice or input. As opposed to asking my friends who know no better really.

I don't see myself ever settling down- i'm pathologically afraid of a failed relationship so i don't have them to start with.:o Not had a lot of good role modles unfortunately. Also there's that pesky problem of having someone to settle down with:p And that is definitely NOT FWB- too old, too underlying anger/aggressiony feeling with him IYKWIM. We would drive each other mental- he knows everything and i know that he doesn't. So for a few hours every 2 weeks or so we annoy each other a little, have some fun and leave it for another week or two.
Plus i like the finer things in life and he thinks lidl/blossoh hill red wine is fantastic- nothing wrong with eithre of course- but i know there is better even in that price range- not on MSE for nothing:money::cool:

What does Pimms taste like?

Anglea

Saturday. I rarely go out then, occasionally if DS1 is home we go for a quick drink before he goes elsewhere.

Pimms -a bit like an alcoholic version of still cola. Normally it's a long drink with lemonade and fruit but I don't have anything to add so drinking it neat.

Pizza and coleslaw sound like a good combination. I didn't eat any tea today after eating more than normal recently and want to get back to eating less.

Not surprising you like the finer things in life if FWB can't even make you a decent breakfast. Is he hard up?

Failed relationships - I have a long list of those but it didn't put me off getting married even though I tried to break it off with ex a few times before we finally got up the aisle. He told me about it recently and I had no recollection LOL

Do you think you'll be upset if you and FWB don't see each other again? I know you said he's not for you, but often a love/hate relationship means you like each other quite a lot.

ziggles50

He's just tight- well he started up a new business this year so understandable- but he was like this before!
I would be upset- he kind of dumped me in the summer- saga about thinking he saw me and it wasn't me so i got p'd off that he wouldn't recognize me in the street- and that hurt. But the next time we have a silly argument and go incommunicado- that's it!
I tend to give loads of second chances (this is the 4th go around in almost 3 years) but then i make a decision not to get too bothered about a person/situation and that is it really. I seem to be in that phase- my 3 friends (closest and most important) are also on this list, sad but i can't carry on investing in relationships that do not pay no matter how good they've been in the past or how long they've gone on. If i end up all alone- then so be it- one can't rely on human beings anyway.

Anglea

LOL ziggles, lots of dramas with him. I think by now I'd be annoyed by the breakfasts and him being tight to that extreme.

As to friendships, years back I had a massive circle of friends but ended up giving up because truthfully I had to pay a very high price to be around them. It sounds like that's happening to you now ziggles. Sometimes the effort doesn't equal the disappointments.

I have a smile on my face - might be the Pimms (another glass) or it might be that I've just heard from MM - short email via his phone. He's going to bed now, had as very tiring day and couldn't sleep the night before.

I wonder what FR is doing at the party? Can you imagine if we had turned up too? LOL