Reformed shopaholic? please can you give me the benefit of your advice

ziggles50

Anglea wrote: »

Hi ziggles

Is this the friend you mentioned before?
Yup= the same one who couldn't spell my name right- but i am glad to see it's been spelled right on my birthday and xmas cards. She feels we're drifting apart- I disagree and feel she's reacting to how she feels and so creating a self-fulfilling prophecy- she thinks i'm too busy and so she re-arranges a meeting i have organised because i 'seem too busy' like !!!!!!????:mad: I chose day and time. I called her up yesterday after she asked if i was 'bothered' abot meeting tonight- (i mean really- she rearranged ita and i agreed) to say you're acting strange so she says -it's the other way round actually- like !!!!!!:mad: Today she said nothng about it at all. I did not enjoy our meet. felt all wrong.

Doesn't FWB visit you at all?
nah- we met when i was living at home so i always went to his- and he's a bit of a secret lover so it works for me this way. I know works except for petrol expense!

Are you any happier at work?
Yeah- i just have no motivation just now. the bos-man has calmed his pants a lot and i have also done likewise. Just got the lazy bug i think:o

That's nice your dad was concerned. Can't you just turn up without an invite?
I can and do turn up whenever- they do not even have my current address. I just feel the commentary is just not worth it. exB&B- i should be somewhere better and i know it and they will also have something to say about it- :cool:

Now it's my turn to give you a questionnaire

MM emailed he was going to bed early so no late night chats for me.

Will you have withdrawal from not chatting tonite? lol!:D

ziggles50

Frogletina wrote: »

Ziggles

I have only ever travelled to see 'the muse', though not as regular as you with FWB. I could understand it if he wanted me to see him as my FWB, but I don't know what he sees me as. I am sure I need him in my life more than he needs me.

Re finances. Begin a new chapter in 2012, so long as you are recording your spending you will know where your money is going even if you don't seem in control of it at the moment. I have spent £150 a week more than my income over this last year - yikes! But I know exactly where it has gone - some was planned, some not. But it's ok, as that is what my savings are there for at the moment.

Anglea

I wish you well with your meeting with MM, you must be excited

Not yet heard from Bym, which is concerning me. I texted him earlier, he should be back and settled now - but as yet no reply

I also need FWB probably more than he needs me- although we do seem as messed up as each other:p I tend to need him more as other things in my life spiral out of control.
2012 i will have to light a fire under my butt for so many things- money, weight, ambition/direction.
I might be tempted to do a turtle impression- in fact i know that is how it will start- xmas/nw yr is never a good time for me!

Frogletina

ziggles50 wrote: »

I also need FWB probably more than he needs me- although we do seem as messed up as each other:p I tend to need him more as other things in my life spiral out of control.
2012 i will have to light a fire under my butt for so many things- money, weight, ambition/direction.
I might be tempted to do a turtle impression- in fact i know that is how it will start- xmas/nw yr is never a good time for me!

I know what you mean about things spiralling out of control. I think that is why I don't want to meet anyone else at the moment (chance would be a fine thing)

For some reason I feel comfortable with the muse and Bym. I turn to the muse when things go wrong, and his virtual hugs are what I sometimes feel keeps me grounded. I've been on nights out where no one seemed to take any interest in me at all (so called friends), and I remember once going to the ladies and couldn't stop crying. Texting the muse and getting a virtual hug was what kept me going, and I was able to leave and go home without being in a total mess.

ziggles50

Frogletina wrote: »

I know what you mean about things spiralling out of control. I think that is why I don't want to meet anyone else at the moment (chance would be a fine thing)

For some reason I feel comfortable with the muse and Bym. I turn to the muse when things go wrong, and his virtual hugs are what I sometimes feel keeps me grounded. I've been on nights out where no one seemed to take any interest in me at all (so called friends), and I remember once going to the ladies and couldn't stop crying. Texting the muse and getting a virtual hug was what kept me going, and I was able to leave and go home without being in a total mess.

Yup- got it in one. A simple, confortable, uncomplicated person to talk to. Can you believe i am a blabbermouth:D:p But with FWB i say nothing at all- he just lets me be. I don't have to lie, make up reasons, answers, skirt arond the truth, or be anyone who i am not...pretty much like being on here but with actual cuddles.:)

Frogletina

ziggles50 wrote: »

Yup- got it in one. A simple, confortable, uncomplicated person to talk to. Can you believe i am a blabbermouth:D:p But with FWB i say nothing at all- he just lets me be. I don't have to lie, make up reasons, answers, skirt arond the truth, or be anyone who i am not...pretty much like being on here but with actual cuddles.:)

I wish I could turn the virtual hugs from the muse into real ones. I'm sure if he didn't live so far away from me he would make an ideal FWB.

Anglea

I do have withdrawals Ziggles but I have a lot of posts to catch up on with you two.

ziggles50

I look nothing like her but this is the wig that i am currently rocking due to my teeny weeny afro looking a bit scruffy! And i like to look neat if not beee-oo-tiful!
I have never been a styling chick and hair has never been a big important thing but i love this new look and i want to get another one.
Will post a pic of the next one later for opinions.

Anglea

Hi all

Ziggles, this is lovely.

In the past you mentioned your hair and I had the impression it was a longer, bigger style so unless you mentioned you had a tiny afro I would have been wondering how you could have fitted the wig

So FWB is a secret lover? It's lovely how you can be totally yourself with him.

As to the 'get myself sorted' comments from the two of you, I know the feeling. I've been in a state of limbo since ex left probably because things still aren't settled legally. I thought it would all be done in the first year he left, and it's 6.5 years later!

Absent friends and virtual hugs - it is nice to know there is someone in the background for you.

Even though I have had all those long calls and emails from MM and feel I know him really well, it still seems like a dream until we meet. I had a long distance relationship with ex but it was totally different, we never talked in between meeting as he disliked phone calls and married as virtual strangers. Why did I think that was a good idea?

Frogletina

CompletelyLost wrote: »

Hi all,
I have been following all your posts... just don't have much to contribute!!! I am jealous tbh, especially of you Anglea :P Glad to see one of us is having some luck and can take the initiative. Another case of my hopelessness for you to all laugh at...

I was... well I won't say exactly where... but this guy came in and before he even sat down I was watching him and thinking "god, you're gorgeous". So then when he actually sat down and tried to talk to me... :eek: Oh my god... I just didn't know what to do or where to look. I just froze and made myself look like such a d*ck.

He was probably just being friendly, trying to pass the time, but my reactions are always so awkward. WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NICE AND FRIENDLY LIKE A NORMAL WELL-ROUNDED PERSON??????
:(:(

Oh CL. I hope you don't think anyone of us would laugh at you.

I think that we all imagine that everyone in the world is having a much better time than we are, when none of us knows what other people are feeling inside, both internally and behind closed doors.

So many people wear a mask, and what I like about this thread is that we all are perhaps able to be more honest with each other than we may otherwise be. Although saying that, there are things about myself that I try hard not to admit to myself as well as other people.

As to freezing in front of a gorgeous man - I've done that. A guy in Turkey said to me when I was tongue tied, 'say something', and I couldn't! He gave up on me.

Anglea

Hi all

CL I've been hoping you would post, wondering how you're doing.

Even though you didn't react in the way you hoped with that guy, it doesn't matter, it's just practice.

MM -I told Dad an edited version today and like mum he was acting paranoid about our internet meeting. Yet when I was younger my b/f's were total strangers, none of them lived anywhere nearby, most were in London, yet no-one said a word about it. Some of them turned out to be married and there wasn't a way to check up on them like there is now. At my age I don't need my parents getting so worried.

The rest of my life is not that great, even with MM in the background, I was feeling very down about everything today. A big reason is this feeling that nothing is going to change.Over the years I've lost confidence to do certain things too and I have this fear that family will try and stop me from having the life I want.

I'm sure CL that you will find your own MM once you let go of the fear of not having someone. He came along at a time I was least expecting to meet anyone.

What advice I can give is that there seems to be a domino effect once you get 'into the zone' eg those two annoying admirers kept asking me out, then they seemed to disappear and that complaining friend appeared after a 6 month gap and kept wanting to see me. It was just at that time that MM contacted me. Since then I've had more admirers locally and the annoying one is back on the scene.

Yet prior to all this happening there seemed to be a complete absence of interest apart from admirer1's occasional requests but I used to believe they were platonic, I didn't realise he fancied me.

So now you've had interest from this man (whether or not it was platonic) you need to try and remember the feeling of fancying him and him talking to you. Then if you get that 'in the zone' feeling you can then attract more people.

Hope this makes sense. In a nutshell, you need to give off the right vibes.