Reformed shopaholic? please can you give me the benefit of your advice

Anglea

Hi al

That is very strange Frogletina LOL

Re BYM and calling daily. I think if you're used to it, you will be expecting it, and if for any reason he can't call or forgets you will be reading something untoward into it.

Before I married ex we lived long distance and I only spoke to him a few times a month, to make arrangements for the next visit. He wasn't one for chatting at all.

I know how much you want a relationship, but don't want you to be worrying in case you don't hear from him for a few days.

Have you heard from the Muse?

CL, as Next is a different shop for you, why don't you buy something that you really want to wear. And if you are scared of how you look, it doesn't matter because you love your returns

I've been in severe resistance mode re the solicitors etc and still panicking over making a choice. I was convincing myself that if I had someone to go with me I could do it. However, Dad said he'd go with me and I'm avoiding even more.

I've returned to my book buying instead.

A few things I know about me - if there is a deadline I'm ok, because it's the same thing as only having one choice. As soon as I give myself options I'm in problems.

I also had plans to get all my finance budgeting up to date so I would be confident when the time comes to do the financial settlement - and I'm avoiding that too

CL - what happened about the work placement - did you apply?

Anglea

Ziggles, is it the FWB's, or because you've left home?

NGlady2

!!!!!!?! You are kidding right in regards to that text message? There really is a grown adult out there sending text msgs like that, and thinking it will score him a second chance? I dont think so buster.

CL - i think as you've not been able to find stuff in your regular shops a next shop might be good for you, opportunity to try different styles/shapes on and hopefully find urself something pretty. In regards to the men - you dont need to go up to them purposely, next time your in the bus shelter and its late and theres a half decent guy, just practise a 'wonder how long this will be' or something - you dont need to date this guy but itll help you learn how to strum convo up with guys and break down your confidence barrier

Zigs - hope your feeling better soon chicken.

Anglea - I couldnt imagin only talking to DEman a couple of times a month - didn't it wind u up? I am presuming this was in the days before mobiles were available to tom !!!!!! and harry?

Frogletina

Anglea wrote: »

Re BYM and calling daily. I think if you're used to it, you will be expecting it, and if for any reason he can't call or forgets you will be reading something untoward into it.

Before I married ex we lived long distance and I only spoke to him a few times a month, to make arrangements for the next visit. He wasn't one for chatting at all.

I know how much you want a relationship, but don't want you to be worrying in case you don't hear from him for a few days.

Have you heard from the Muse?

Hi Anglea

Nothing at all from the Muse - I have been so wrapped up thinking about BYM that I have not sent any texts to the Muse at all, and he probably hasn't noticed that, or not enough to think about contacting me.

Regarding BYM, well I met him via a dating site and I know he has been on there, updating his profile etc, since last contacting me. So I know I am not 'the one' for him, he is keeping his options open. In his last message he talked about coming down to see me again, but when I said it would be nice if he came next weekend as it would be the last weekend before my holiday he didn't reply.

And I have sent a couple of messages/texts since not mentioning us meeting up since but these have elicited no response either.

Should have gone out last night but did not feel up to it so went to bed early - it has done me good and I am up at a reasonable time today though still melancholic

Frogletina

NGlady2 wrote: »

!!!!!!?! You are kidding right in regards to that text message? There really is a grown adult out there sending text msgs like that, and thinking it will score him a second chance? I dont think so buster.

Hi N Glady

Yep Cinema man really did send that message - and he's 36!

I'm just wondering how many messages he will send thinking he is in with any kind of a chance. By the way he doesn't have my mobile number, it was a message via a dating site - I am glad he doesn't have my mobile number

Anglea

Hi all, quickie as I'm supposed to be somewhere and I'm still at home,
I think your cinema man FR is probably writing the same message to about 20 women and seeing who responds.

FR, I think that if BYM has changed his profile - and not said anything to you, that's the sign that you're well rid, although it is probably very upsetting for you.

There's a man I know who does online dating and he tells me there are always at least 10 women in regular email contact at any one time and he meets up with some of them. I don't like the sound of that at all because how can you eventually decide to stop and only stick to one person if there is an easy way to cheat?

NGlady, what is your take on this as you've found DeMan? Do you trust him?

NGlady2

Hi Girlies,

To be honest, I have met several people online. And whilst DEman is a fantastic bloke, and I knew this from the start off, I did at first have worries in my head, i think there natural and i think there normal irrelivent of where you meet your new partner, but they was soon squashed and to be honest my trust for him grew and grew.

In my other findings online I have learnt first off to always trust your own judgement. When I decided that a man wasn't worth while, I didnt presue anything, didn't owe them anything and i wasnt going to be pulled in. I did in my early days find myself very easily led by internet-fellas, such as there was hte one who i believed to be a lovely eligable bachulour found out he was in fact married with three children. Also if something seems a little too good, it normally is online, just think, if that farrari driving multi-millionaire poetry writing, inteligent doctor (ok maybe a bit OTT but you see what i mean) really was single, its unlikely he would be on a dating site, particually a free one.

I did go on several dating websites. one of which being a paid for one, and to be honest, the myth is that on the paid for ones you find a better type of man? nope! A lot of those profiles don't exist people build the profile, then realise they have to pay to use it and kind of sack the website off, the free ones are thebesto nes.

Also - dont be afraid to be nosey. You have their email address, pop it into facebook - even if you dont add them. You'll find their status out from there normally

be safe!

ziggles50

hurrah for internet stalking...very useful info on facebook, blogs etc!

Anglea

Hi all

NGlady, I think Mills and Boon could use your character ideas, that poetry writing millionnaire doctor could make a good book LOL

Reading about the married bloke, reminded me of the time I used to fancy the DJ of a club and I started going out with him but I was a bit annoyed that we always met up in the town I lived and just went to the local pubs rather than where he lived which was an exciting seaside place. One night at the club there was some kind of special event where people were receiving awards and he introduced me to his sister in law. I got chatting to her and asked about her husband, the b/f's brother and was horrified to discover she was the b/f's wife's sister :mad:

Another bloke I knew but wasn't a b/f as such but we really liked each other for a long time, and went back to his house after a night out, his friend was with us too, a woman opened the door, I presumed it was the b/f's sister and suddenly I was being introduced as the friends g/f. The woman was the wife :mad: I didn't say anything because the house was in the middle of nowhere in London so I was reliant on the boys to get out of there. I was furious.

A similar thing happened with yet another man. We were all in a film and on location, living in accommodation chalets. He invited my friends and I to a party, we turned up and everything was in darkness. After a lot of knocking on the door, he opened it in underwear and told us to go in the other room. I heard a woman's voice in the bedroom asking what was going on and was shocked to discover it was his wife :mad: There were some nasty repercussions from that event!

They are all funny incidents when I think about it now, but at the time they were awful.

Frogletina

Gosh Anglea

What tales you have, glad you can laugh about them now

N Glady, he's not on facebook under the email address he gave me. I do feel like a stalker though, I found another email address he has but he's not on facebook with that one either.

He's not been on the dating site for over 24 hours now and still no contact but I think it is best to wait and not send any texts to him. If he wants to contact me then he will....

Re shopping........

So much for spending less this month. I have been to Sainsburys today and made also made an order with Ocado. Ocado had a 20% off voucher code for me but I've spent the extra savings on 2 bottles of Martini, and it is not as if I need them. But they were on offer so I have stocked up, and most of the other things I bought were not necessary as they were mainly for my store cupboard.

I should be buying clothes for my holiday but I find clothes shopping really difficult, and I haven't lost the weight I wanted to. Might go with what I have and buy more for next holiday