Reformed shopaholic? please can you give me the benefit of your advice

NGlady2

Oh dear
Very sorry to hear about BYM. However, i do have to ask you - would you really want to be with a man who can't even afford train fare? Cant imagin it was a very expensive train journey. I am not high maintance, and I can afford to keep myself but i know it would put me off big time, you need a man with a little bit of substance, not welth but ability to look after himself x

Anglea

Hi all

Let's hope he checks his wallet before making any more plans this week.

Frogletina

NGlady2 wrote: »

Oh dear
Very sorry to hear about BYM. However, i do have to ask you - would you really want to be with a man who can't even afford train fare? Cant imagin it was a very expensive train journey. I am not high maintance, and I can afford to keep myself but i know it would put me off big time, you need a man with a little bit of substance, not welth but ability to look after himself x

I understand perfectly, and this I have to say was rather unexpected. We did message each other for many hours afterwards and he didn't speak about what sort of income he had or where from. I didn't ask, prefering him to give that information willingly.

He did say in the early hours that it was now May and so would have money and be down very soon

Anglea - too right he checks his wallet!

Also, Cinema man replied saying 'yes,sorry about that babe,i would like to do it again if you still fancy it. xx' He is not getting a second chance!!!!!!!!

Anglea

Hi all

Frogletina, I really hope he is truthful, so he hasn't said what he does for a living yet? Perhaps he's unemployed and embarassed to tell you.

If it was me I'd want all the details in our first conversation including if there any complications in his background.

As for the cinema man - he must be a chancer to act as though nothing has happened.

CompletelyLost

Hi all,

Frog - sorry to hear about that guy. He did sound perfect... I wonder what his reasons for backing out were?

I have a cold... not impressed... I've never had a cold for about three years Plus it's hayfever weather, so I am getting through a full box of tissues a day! Ahh well things could be worse i'm sure.

It's a new month! Following last month's diabolical spends, I must keep my spends to a minimum this month.

I keep thinking about the internship that I refused... it would've been finished by now... I think I kind of regret not taking it. Still can't believe I did that interview.

I need to get myself back into gear and start looking (properly) for some kind of work experience. I passed an accountant's on Thursday and they had a sign outside saying 'part-qualified volunteer required' - I didn't enquire about it at the time (too chicken) but might just ask on Tuesday when they reopen. It's close to home and would be perfect, provided it's not full-time.

Frogletina

CompletelyLost wrote: »

Hi all,

Frog - sorry to hear about that guy. He did sound perfect... I wonder what his reasons for backing out were?

I have a cold... not impressed... I've never had a cold for about three years Plus it's hayfever weather, so I am getting through a full box of tissues a day! Ahh well things could be worse i'm sure.

It's a new month! Following last month's diabolical spends, I must keep my spends to a minimum this month.

I keep thinking about the internship that I refused... it would've been finished by now... I think I kind of regret not taking it. Still can't believe I did that interview.

I need to get myself back into gear and start looking (properly) for some kind of work experience. I passed an accountant's on Thursday and they had a sign outside saying 'part-qualified volunteer required' - I didn't enquire about it at the time (too chicken) but might just ask on Tuesday when they reopen. It's close to home and would be perfect, provided it's not full-time.

Hi CL - you missed my post where I said it was financial reasons why BYM didn't come yesterday

You should ask on Tuesday about the the work experience. What is the worst that could happen! Just take a deep breath and imagine you have the confidence you need and you may be pleasantly surprised what thought can do

My finances are in a mess - I have not started on my receipts for April and forgotten spends without the receipts.

I'm only an occassional shopaholic - mainly foodwise, and it is not as if I don't have the money (even though I do sometimes have to dip into my savings) it is for me more a matter of being less hasty and more careful. I don't want to spend half the time buying and the other half decluttering, or worse, eating up all the food I have bought before its use by date

NGlady2

Got to say Frog - you are extremely patient woman! I often use a chatroom, purely just for something to do for half an hour, and its often one of the first questions that gets asked - just to get to know somebody, as often its an indication of who they are, what their ambition is and what their motivations are.

I am trying my hardest to be just that little bit better with money - and it really isn't going very well. I seem to get through it without really noticing. Do you think my purse has got a hole in it?? *sings* theres a hole in your purse dear NGlady NGlady theres a hole in your purse dear NGlady!

NEED no spend days - going to start 'staring' them in my diary when they happen

My birthday soon

Anglea

Hi all

Hi CL:j

Sorry to hear you've been unwell. Your mention of tissues reminded me I forgot to put them on my shopping list for the last few weeks

I think that job offer sounds amazing, I don't think I've ever seen an advert like that in a window.

Have you ever tried that self-improvement excercise when you try and pretend you are someone else in order to do things you find difficult. Either create your own alter ego, or else base it on a real person, or character in a book or film. Then imagine their thoughts when they go into the accountants to find out about the job.

Also ask yourself, if someone was to pay you £500 and give you a personal stylist for the day so you could get the clothes you always wanted - would you do it?

I'm pretty certain I'd do a lot of difficult things if I was given money. I know I should do it for myself, but it seems to be human nature to put things off or find it hard to do without a lot of motivation.

Based on recent posts, I think we need an April Challenge.

NGlady2

Anglea - im sure you mean a May challange

Yep... i think we should deffo do that, It's going to be an hard month for me with my mums operation (date of which has been put back a week) and I dare say im going to have quite a few 'comfort' purchases. I've fully budgeted and given myself leaway just in case but i dont want to risk too much.

So.. I therefore set my challange!!

I am going to try and have 5 no spend days in May. This will exclude food for work - will include the naughty treats at work though.

I will also set myself the challange to try and continue writing my every penny spent down...

something unlike me in the past. I budgeted to have my hair highlighted again this month, but thanks to the sun my blonde still looks good - so I am able to pop an extra £50 into my savings, in the past this would have been an extra dress/two. go me!

Anglea

Pick something you want to do achieve this month. Either from this list or your own idea.

examples

1. give up buying something
2. weigh yourself and lose weight this month
3. create a new budget
4. save a set amount each week
5. set up a £2 coin tin
6. update your 2011 expenses
7. file your paperwork
8. update bank and saving accounts
9. find a cheaper way to do something
10. do some outstanding chores - financial, household or personal
11. birthdays, Summer holiday, Christmas savings
12. get fitter
13. find a new hobby to divert you from shopping