Reformed shopaholic? please can you give me the benefit of your advice

Anglea

Hi all :j

Salesaddict, lovely that you have been able to give us an update - and brilliant that you may have found out what was going on with DH. Sorry that your dad has made things difficult for you, but cutting down visits may help you to 'regroup' as you have a lot going on at once to deal with.

Good luck with your de-cluttering and stock taking. btw I live in Somerset, weather is good at the moment, although getting colder.

NGlady

SOUK - generally, I have to say I need to fancy a guy before I can consider anything happening, but to be honest all ive been meeting recently are guys who I fancy who are quite jerkish so I think maybe its worth giving it a ago. Does that make any sence? I can see what you mean completely, if your only out for a good time, then obviously they need to be eyecandy

Ignore this if u like hon, but what has made you come to the decision you dont want a r'ship? is it just the idea of doing the boring things that come with a r'ship?

Anglea

NGlady :j

Thanks for all the details - hope your poor feet recover. I'm trying to picture you sitting on the floor wearing your nice clothes in the train.

I reckon you must have found that bloke on 'Iwill buy you a handbag.com'

I think the rest of us will have to join. LOL Wow, that was a fantastic date - so I'm guessing that you told him in advance how much you enjoy browing and shopping? I laughed when you mentioned that he looked better when you got rid of his jacket! I'm looking forward to the next installment.

Good luck Souk, for the rest of the month.

Confession time - I've had soooooo many cakes it's untrue. Still a NSD at least..

CompletelyLost

SA, it's good to see an update from you. I was wondering how things were

NGlady - sounds like you had a lovely day. Hope your next date goes well.

Souk08

No it's fine. People never ask, they just smugly assume that I will change my mind one day! No idea really why initially but at 16 or so when all my mates have boyfriends and cried/moaned to me about them I was just having fun and thought if I can have the good bits but not all the carp then surely that's sensible. Then I did uni and had a blast and then I went away to rep and again all my friends had guys who cheated or were controlling and I had a good time with loads of different guys. met some fabby ones but was totally free to do my own thing. had a bloke on the ship but only really because I was seeing him anyway and it's such a small world so we stayed together but as soon as we got off and he came here to live (he's Eastern European) he hated it and if I'm honest it always felt to me like I was playing out a role. He was perfectly nice but I hated being controlled as I'm very independednt and he couldn't get work here so he went home. He wanted a traditional wife to look after kids and that is so not me" I realised then that for me I had been right all along to keep men at arms length and do my own thing. Very interesting as I have lots of female friends but this is where we differ. Also I have to be honest and say that NO relationship I have witnessed was one that made me want to do the same. My parents have a great one but they are older and had different expectations. Everyone I know is either stifled or kept down or changed or if he's nice then he has baggage and they have to make life changes that I couldn't make. VERY interesting as 'relationship chicks' in the real world aren't my friends so i can't really ask them why they do what they do and vice versa!

NGlady

Thanks Souk, can relate to that in some ways. As I have older sisters, always saw their relationship problems/tears over them hurting them etc, and to be honest it has made me a little stricter in r'ships :S Also been hurt/led on a lot, so to be honest I can get a little i dunno the word, the type who texts a lot etc?

Angela - yes I had a gorgeous flowery dress on with waiste belt, knee boots and leggings and a pink cardy and was sat on the floor lol.

I have decided based on this Weekends weather the summer is coming, so I would figure I have about a fortnight before I need to put the things I packed away last summer in my wardrobe. I am officially on a exercise and diet plan I have walked 45 minutes tonight and im going to start getting up better in a morning. Didn't end up being a NSD for me, turned out to be a MSD as I brought some flavoured water - Love this when on a diet, as its a lovely taste it tricks my mind into thinking ive had a snack :S odd huh, so £1.10 spent

Sales addict nice to see you on the boards again.

Mags30

downcdebt wrote: »

I have read through many of the helpful comments on this thread and have decided to spend some of this weekend sorting out my wardrobe, as I am sure I have lots things I could wear if I bothered to mend them/iron them/ put them with nice jewelry. Hell, I even found two pairs of much nicer boots at the back of the wardrobe than the pairs I just bought that dont fit!

It really hit home when I read one post about how it is much better to spend time taking care of your appearance by eating well, exercising, doing nails, hair, looking after skin etc.

Especially true this time of year when changing over to summer clothes. It's actually easier to buy new clothes than to sort the clothes we have to find summer outfits.

I spend too much taking care of my appearance, hairdresser and cosmetics get too much of my money. LOL.

morocha wrote: »

i have a terrible problem.. i want 2 pairs of Nine West shoes.. they are £41 delivery included... but i can not bring myself to pay for them....... yet.

This could be worse! If you do end up buying them it won't be an impulse purchase that you regret.

NGlady

Morocha ref the shoes I know I sound kettle calling pot black (is that the expression!?) here but for each pair can u think of say 5 reasons to justify each pair i.e outfits to go with?
Yep - I do it all the time, I often go on clothes websites and put things in my basket and keep toying with itm and hope they sell out so i dont get the choice lol.

Mags30

@NGlady I really enjoyed reading about the date and will be looking forward to the next instalment:) Now I know nothing about going on dates (I spent most of the last 10 years with the one guy) but I can't understand why a man would be so willing to spend so much money on somebody on a first date?? He doesn't sound very MSE!!!! Most men would just buy dinner and leave the handbag buying for Christmas and birthdays.

@Salesaddict Great to have you back. Alcohol is a depressant. If the OH is prone to depression it's very likely that even small amounts especially combined with medication would make it much worse. Alcohol tends to make me depressed too so I avoid it. At least if you know what the problem is you can work on fixing it.

Souk08

Well ladies I have listed a few more things on ebay tonight and am hoping to make a bit from them to help me through the month.

Got lovely new red shoes from Primarni the other day which my mum is buying for me. She used to moan about my clothes spends but treats me a lot now I am on a tight budget and is very good at picking out stuff I like. I'm going to her and dads for a few days next week and she is planning for us to go there for a wee look and to get me a few bits. She can barely walk at the mo as she's getting her hip done soon but will sit in there while I run about and get stuff at her suggestion! We make a funny pair, her saying 'get this, get that' and me saying 'that's enough!' Will allow her to buy me some 'glam flats' though. Only time I wear flats is in summer and they have to be pretty and bejewelled. LOVE the glam Birkenstock type things Primark do ie pink sequins on a really flat sole.

Mags I used to get treatments all the time when I was overseas. I have to do it all myself for now but that's deffo on my list for when I get rid of the cards!