Reformed shopaholic? please can you give me the benefit of your advice

verynewmoneysaver

Got some sandals in M&S with my birthday money from Mum (used £5 off Oxfam voucher), and a pencil skirt and cardigan in the on-line sale (still with birthday money). Also got a couple of things for Mum's birthday in the sale. So feeling quite happy today!

nuttyshopaholic25

LadyV1983 wrote: »

Hi everyone, I am new to this thread and this forum, but I have been reading this thread for almost the past week and it has really inspired me, you are all so friendly too, maybe that's a personality trait of a shoppaholic

I've been a shoppaholic for as long as I can remember, and think it started because I came from a relatively poor background too and never really had any new clothes etc it didn't help that everyone threw credit cards at me too.

I too would think nothing of spending £100 on clothes but would then say I can't afford the new microwave that I really need, or the weekend away I've been wanting for ages, I really want to stop this

Hello There LadyV1983,

I recently joined the thread too after reading and being inspired welcome :j i can so understand where you are coming from with the above quotes. I too grew up in a family with no money and having to scrimp and save for anything and then when i moved out and got a job i started to spoil myself and buy anything i wanted as i could afford it and i got such a great buzz everytime from that and now i still buy what i want whether i have the money or not thanks to a darn credit card i have :mad: i wish id never got it. Both of my parents are from the make do and mend generation, they save for everything and live on pitance and i feel so ashamed if they ever found out about my debt. i know im an adult etc... but i value their opinion of me and dont want them to think they did any wrong in bringing me up.

Im also exactly the same as you i dont blink at spending £40 on a cleanser or a few hundrend every month on stuff (products, handbags, underwear, dvds, books & earrings are my downfall ) but i will not buy the items i really need like a hoover, washing machine, matress or microwave. its so silly i will easily grummble about the cost of postage, petrol etc... but almost throw it away on items i often forget ive bought and tuck away under my bed or at the back of my wardrobe never to be used. i seriously need to get myself on ebay or amazon marketplace and sell my stuff but im so lazy.

Everytime something hard happens to me in life, family illness and loss and work stress i instantly 'treat' myself to something or things. i need to get out of this habbit but its so hard, but being on here reading everyone treads and talking about my problems is good free therapy

so i also want to add my thanks to everyone on here for being amazing and truthful and brave in dealing with this addiction of ours :T

verynewmoneysaver

I am not going to spend on clothes again this month now. I know that seems a small goal but it's a start!

NGlady

I think it is highly possible I have got "shopping bulimia" I love the feeling of going shopping, but then being able to return the items and going back to having a purse of money again, but the thrill of handing money over etc at the time. I'd say the majority of things I buy I return.

Also to LadyV - Hi and welcome You did really well on Saturday, when I return things I have to try very hard not to get into the logic that it is free money and therefore I can exchange items. I think the Westfields is laid out for women on a mission to shop :O

But my god wasnt the food court busy on sat lol. Another thing, I can't go shopping and not have my tea/dinner out.

nuttyshopaholic25

Hey verynewmoneysaver, it may be small but it is a start and i want to say well done you

ive decided that im finally going to rally up all the piles of ones & twos i have dotted all over my house, bedroom and even a jar at my parents, count it all up and take it to the bank and pay the amount off towards my debt. Prob wont be a lot but as the saying goes every little helps. i think i may even take every 20p & 5p i get out of change and put that into a jar and save it because i bet i wont notice it so much but it will add up quickly too

Polly

Have just found this thread and it's just what I needed. It's comforting to know that so many people have the same problem because I just feel out of control with my spending. I'm spending way more than I earn every month but because I buy (mostly) for others, I don't feel the same guilt that I would if I was just buying for myself. Having said that, I've got loads of stuff (way way too much) and would love to start eBaying but can't seem to get motivated as lots of it is BNWT but I know I'll get next to nothing on eBay for it. Any help appreciated

Anglea

Hello Polly and LadyV

There are a lot of similarities between us all, even though our weakness may be different items.

Do any of you like crisps? Quite a few of us do.

btw - I've just had a salad, coleslaw and teddy crisp sandwich .Bliss

No impulse shopping this week, been running around like a blue a---ed fly trying to get something for my Dad because even though I spend all year round on my main hobby (organising Christmas and special occasions all year round as per my sig - Santas Challenges thread) I still didn't have anything even though it's his birthday this week! :mad:

I'm really annoyed with myself for all the stupid buying and timewasting activities (computer) yet I seem to be getting more and more disorganised.

I'm now realising if I'd been prepared I could have made some handmade chocolates or something else, but now I'd feel too much under pressure.

I was surprised to discover that since I gave up making all my cards I've even managed to forget important birthdays altogether

So for all of us girls, it's not even just about the physical act of shopping, think how much time is spent on it. Trying on clothes, trying to make a decision, browsing, taking back, thinking about going shopping , getting to the shops etc Including coming on here and reading and posting. Most of the day gone already!.

NGlady

Yes we certainly spend a lot of time in the process of shopping including all the Journeys etc :S Bet I spend approx 10hours a week in the shops/looking at internet shopping sites. Same as you I spend all this time doing bits and bobs with shopping, but i cant find say a spare 4hours to tidy up all my wardrobes and Ebay it. In the morning I am awful, I get up about nine - if I then got ready and got moving out of the house by about ten, it wouldnt be too bad but its sometimes even 330pm by the time I get ready as I find things to do online chatrooms/forums etc, Need to quit that somehow.

I have had a no spend day today Had intended to have a £5 MSD but managed to save £10 instead. Very pleased with me Tomorrow I have got my job interview at 4pm so hopeing not to spend too much throughout the day so a MSD for me. So thats taken a good bite out of the amount I need

Mags30

NGlady wrote: »

Another thing, I can't go shopping and not have my tea/dinner out.

Me too, every trip to the shops includes lunch or a coffee shop visit.

Anglea wrote: »

I'm really annoyed with myself for all the stupid buying and timewasting activities (computer) yet I seem to be getting more and more disorganised.

So for all of us girls, it's not even just about the physical act of shopping, think how much time is spent on it. Trying on clothes, trying to make a decision, browsing, taking back, thinking about going shopping , getting to the shops etc Including coming on here and reading and posting. Most of the day gone already!.

So true, I need to allocate a certain amount of hours every week to shopping and stick to it. I don't know how many hours though. Then do more productive things with the rest of my time.

LadyV1983

Hi everyone, and thanks for the lovely welcome!

I haven't had the best spend day today, but I had the afternoon off work, so I treated myself a little bit. I spent £9 in the pound shop (£4 of it was necessities). I could get addicted to shopping in poundland, all the thrill of the puchase and only £1 an item (I spent £18 in there once!!), and to be honest I actually enjoy buying necessities as I think it makes me feel productive.

Anyway, I then bought a McDonalds for lunch so a total of £12.68 was spent today, not really what I would call a minimum spend day, but not too bad I guess.

Velocity Girl: It sounds like you're doing really well now, and I totally agree about the Shopping Bullimia, my friends always make fun of me for constantly returning stuff

Nuttyshoppaholic25: I'm the same as you with shopping when I'm having a rough time, I think the whole reason I'm in this mess is because I was in a horrible on/off relationship for years a few years ago, I was constantly miserable and would probably treat myself everyday!

I have decided now rather than buying crap I don't need I'm going to buy one 'big' thing a month that I've wanted for ages/need (a cross trainer /mattress /weekend away etc) and one or two little things (dress/skirt etc).

NGLady: I'm actually not too bad with the dinner and shopping thing because I live right in the centre of town, so can eat before I go out or as soon as I get in, although I do tend to snack as I'm walking round.

Angela: I do like crisps, but I don't think I like them as much I you guys cheese & onion hoola hoops are my favourites. I currently have a huge addiction to treacle tart and evaporated milk at the moment (and it's well reflected in my spending diary):D

I hope you all had good money days today? xxxx