New year, New me (finally)

thrifty_fifty

Not that I'm being ageist in any way, but when more senior members of societys reaction and judgement whilst driving starts to deteriorate . Don't go out and buy a brand spanking new car to potter about in. GIVE UP DRIVING!!! I have just nearly killed an elderly man and his passenger, whilst driving to tesco to pick up hob nob treats and beers to numb the aching muscles.
They sat there and sat there in their car in the lane facing me indicating to turn into the garden centre, which meant that they had to cross infront of me to get into the entrance, as they had sat there for so long, I expected they would turn after I had passed them, as there wasn't anything behind me. I started to accelerate as it was a country road, and just as I hit 60 and our cars bumpers were facing each other they turned, but someone was sat just inside the entrance to the garden centre, so they couldn't get in, so now their car was fully blocking the road ahead of me. I had to do an emergency stop to avoid hitting them, and they didn't even notice I was there. They were completely oblivious. Had I hit the passenger side at that speed I would have certainly killed the passenger, if not the driver aswell. So bloomin selfish, I might never have driven again, having that on my conscience. Very annoyed!!!

thrifty_fifty

Getting impatient for payday to come around, so paid another £8.63 off virgin card to make it a round £6930, and debt down to £12509.

Shoe_Gal

:mad: to bad drivers and :j to 'tidy' credit cards

thrifty_fifty

Excuse the mental download here, but time for a spot of self reflection (if you're bored just scan this entry, it could be a long one)

since september 2006 (that moment long ago when I had the call at work which resulted in the above loan), I have achieved the following things:

Got my debt down from £19,000 to the my current £12, 509, soon to be £11,409

Got my degree and took myself off to London on my own for the first time, for the degree ceremony.

Did Rome for a day on my own, with only one word of Italian, for my birthday, post breakup.

Picked myself up after breaking up, selling up, moving back home, starting and failing my first masters course, starting and failing at a job where I was bullied and it made me ill. I have a new job and have passed my first masters course.

Have discovered lots of true friends, who i wouldn't be without.

Am living the dream of living in the country, all be it in rented accommodation at the mo.

Have a wonderful boyfriend.

Have my confidence back (finally)

Yesterday for the first time I was able to do some physical hard labour for the first time in two years and feel ok (stress made me faint and tired, so I piled on the weight as I was mentally and physically too worn out to exercise)

The old me is coming back slowly and surely

I wanted to be debt free by 30, but I will be shortly after.

I'm not afraid to live my dreams.

x

Shoe_Gal

What a lovely, motivating post. You are truly an inspiration to anybody on here who thinks they cannot achieve anything they want to :A

thrifty_fifty

I've caught ebayitis. Instead of wanting to buy, buy, buy, I keep looking at things around the house and £20 note signs flash in my eyes.

I had been keeping a Marc Jacobs top for best for years. Net a porter tags still attached and everything. I ordered in a size small because everything else I had from that designer in medium seemed to be huge. I never bothered to check the label, and it is a US size 4 (a UK 8). Even at my skinniest I was a size 10 top and 12 on the bottom at a push. So I have admitted firstly what a fool!!! Secondly, the only way I will ever be a size 8, is if I go on some crazy diet where I suck the juice out of random pieces of fruit, but don't swallow.

The thought of having no boobies and my hair starting to fall out because I am malnourished, isn't an attractive one, so onto ebay it will go!!!

This is fun. Now what else can I sell? Hmmmm!!!

Shoe_Gal

:rotfl::rotfl: to the diet - would be the same for me! Glad you decided not to attempt it

thrifty_fifty

Crikey, who knew that shredding could be such an emotional thing? I had left a big black bag of the stuff in the bedroom and have been kicking myself for the last two weeks for not having done it. Now I know why, because everytime I do the shredding I come across old bank statements, seriously overdrawn, over their overdraft etc etc, and the memories come flooding back.

After taking a bit of an emotional break from it, I'm going back now to finish off, Ok just got to get through this lot, and then it is done, gone and forgotten about.

Next month will be good, as we can finally get a freezer (you better believe a tub of Ben and Jerry's half baked cookie dough icecream will be the first item to go in there!!!)

Hire a van and get rid of the old sofa downstairs, so we can move the one upstairs to the downstairs, and put a wardrobe upstairs (currently we are both sharing one of those Ikea canvas ones). It is going to be so nice. A wardrobe, a freezer with icecream in it. Ooh la la!!

thrifty_fifty

Ok perhaps I was being a little too harsh on myself earlier. The shredder promptly packed up as I went in to start round 2. So maybe that was something trying to tell me not to punish myself with it.

I've decided that I spend too much time looking back, racking up the mistakes I've made, and weighting this up as some kind of character flaw. No-one is perfect, so other people might have been sensible and not gotten themselves into debt, but I'm sure they have made other mistakes.

I compare myself too much to others, thinking that they are doing such a sterling job, and I'm lagging behind somehow. Not so. I guess I'm doing what is called 'living'. So I have strayed off course once or twice, but lessons have been learned. Perhaps those whom I compare myself to have never made a mistake because they never dared to do anything. They never push themselves.

OK so living an extravagant lifestyle, has landed me in this mess, and now I am having to pay it off. But I've had the experience of having some nice things, and now this has given me the motivation to go out and get myself a good job, so that I can afford the lifestyle I want.
So infact you don't have to give up on your dreams, you just have to take a bit of a detour along the way. The debt was the detour, and now I'm back on the path. And going through all of that nightmare, has made me more confident, able to stand on my own two feet, and grab life by the balls!!!

So here we are

2006 was the Annus horibilis (quoting the good lady herself)
2007 was the face facts and tough girl in training induction
2008 was the take a bit more carp to finish off the training year.
2009 was the recover from it and set the wheels in motion year
2010 sow the seeds for success, and lay the past to rest year
2011 The gotten over the hurdle of turning 30, becoming a woman, gaining my PG cert, setting down some savings, and starting on my career path year (crikey, that's going to be busy)
And you know what, at last I think my mum actually admires me. I finally get some respect, because I've come through this (well almost financially at the end of this year), I'm still alive, and for the shy, quiet little girl of the family, I've shown that I've got some guts!!

Achievements for April will have been, ILM team leader training completed, Project management training completed, 10% of my debt repaid, allotment set up and seeds planted. That's not too shabby is it?

thrifty_fifty

Apologies for previous evenings rantings. Think its a combination of tears before bedtime tiredness, from working on the allotment, and imminent lady time. Why don't men have this? Suddenly for a few days a month you are emotionally transformed into one of the following two polar opposites-scary crazy mad person (you got in my way, how dare you *bites off victims head and hands it back to them*), or a weepy wobbly jelly (*the wind blew in the other direction, therefore I am going to bawl endlessly*).

Sometimes it's hard to be a woman!!