Children left at home alone

Alikay

paddy's_mum wrote: »

Why on earth does a grown man need anybody to point out the blindingly obvious? :mad:

Why is it blindingly obvious? My own lovely DH needed to be told what was and wasn't risky for our kids. He was raised differently by very ermm "relaxed" parents, and times have changed. Even the McCanns ....2 doctors for goodness sake, thought it'd be OK to to leave their 3 tots while they went out. I think we women are generally more risk-averse than men, and we certainly chat amongst ourselves more about parenting issues.

If the OP tells him the error of his ways and he refuses to comply,that is the time for taking things further.

Bennifred

I can just about see why you might leave a seven-year -old at home alone for five minutes (although I wouldn't). But to leave a seven-year-old and two younger ones is downright irresponsible, whatever the law says!:mad:
Also, regardless of the children's safety, what if something happens to HIM which might prevent him from returning?!:eek: Accidents can and do happen.......

ford_prefect_3

paddy's_mum wrote: »

Why on earth does a grown man need anybody to point out the blindingly obvious? :mad:

I'd be blowing steam if this was my children unless he can show that a 7 year old is capable of picking up and carrying out both his younger siblings in the event of disaster, say a fire.

Doesn't this imbecile watch the news or programmes like last week's Crimewatch? I would be stopping contact now - tonight - and telling him why.

Presumably, his girlfriend would be just as happy if she trusted him with her children and they died in a housefire while he was away up the street dealing with more 'important' things than the safety of her home and children. I'd also bet money that if he had found out that you had done this, you'd be facing loud cries of unfit mother.

Sometimes, words fail me and this is one of those times.

Can I be the fly on the wall when you explain to the children that to punish daddy they arent allowed to seem him any more?

As its the older child who told his mummy dont you think he may have to deal with some guilt issues over this?

I think its better for all concerned to deal with it rationally than to boil the bunny first before finding out whose hungry!

hippychick1

Bennifred wrote: »

Also, regardless of the children's safety, what if something happens to HIM which might prevent him from returning?!:eek: Accidents can and do happen.......

This thought hadn't even entered my head, but I can't stop thinking about it now :eek:

In no way would I want to prevent the children from seeing their dad as long as they are safe, which is why I organised an equal split of the childcare. I have the feeling that the less he sees of them, the less he will want to see of them. I have fully encouraged him to see the children. I am just worrying now that if he thinks it's ok to make this decision about leaving them for 5 or 10 minutes, what else does he think is ok?

I will sit down and discuss this with him on Tuesday when I see him next. I am incredibly worried, that as we are currently not on speaking terms he will explode, and tell me not to question him. If only we hadn't argued earlier in the week, I would have felt much more comfortable talking to him about this.

gazzak_2

Tell me what a 7 year old would do if a younger child got an object stuck in their throat? You DON'T leave children that young home alone for a single minute, it's bl00dy appalling. If it doesn't stop then you shouldn't allow your kids to be placed at risk, because that's what's happening.

pigpen

Alikay wrote: »

Even the McCanns ....2 doctors for goodness sake, thought it'd be OK to to leave their 3 tots while they went out.

Being a doctor does not make you intelligent.. and look what happened to their poor little girl!.. in fact some of the most stupid people I have ever met have been highly educated. My uncles gf is a gynaecologist and he designs electrical systems for planes.. their children are in foster care because they are too stupid to care for them properly!

It may be that there is no 'law' that states a child canot be left alone BUT there is a law which states they cannot be left in the care of another child!!

I'd possibly anonymously report him to the NSPCC and they might just set the wheels in motion for stopping him having the children unsupervised or make sure he attends parenting classes.. or just the fear of them knocking on his door with sort him out.

You would also be contacted of course but you have nothing to worry about

Ok.. so I'm a bit sneaky lol

ford_prefect_3

hippychick1 wrote: »

This thought hadn't even entered my head, but I can't stop thinking about it now :eek:

In no way would I want to prevent the children from seeing their dad as long as they are safe, which is why I organised an equal split of the childcare. I have the feeling that the less he sees of them, the less he will want to see of them. I have fully encouraged him to see the children. I am just worrying now that if he thinks it's ok to make this decision about leaving them for 5 or 10 minutes, what else does he think is ok?

I will sit down and discuss this with him on Tuesday when I see him next. I am incredibly worried, that as we are currently not on speaking terms he will explode, and tell me not to question him. If only we hadn't argued earlier in the week, I would have felt much more comfortable talking to him about this.

Communicating with exes is never easy so you are going to have to sell it to him in a way that makes it appear your concern is for him and the children.

First make a short bullet point list which includes the kids safety but also what happens if he gets knocked down by a bus and cant come back?

Point out that the eldest likes responsibility but that you think its a little too much at this age for him to deal with in case the father is delayed getting back.

Ask him if he has a neighbour that can sit in (you may know he has so suggest the idea) if he needs to run errands to the shop.

If you give him solutions he wont see it as a problem whereas if you just tell him it has to stop with no idea what he should do he will wander back into his cave, scratch his nuts and ignore you.

Alikay

pigpen wrote: »

I'd possibly anonymously report him to the NSPCC and they might just set the wheels in motion for stopping him having the children unsupervised or make sure he attends parenting classes.. or just the fear of them knocking on his door with sort him out.

So valuable time can be spent telling some pillock not to leave his kids alone when he goes to the shop (which his ex could do for the price of a phone call), taking child protection workers away from a case-load which could include serious abuse and neglect?

Words fail me :mad:

ford_prefect_3

Alikay wrote: »

So valuable time can be spent telling some pillock not to leave his kids alone when he goes to the shop (which his ex could do for the price of a phone call), taking child protection workers away from a case-load which could include serious abuse and neglect?

Words fail me :mad:

Not to mention 3 kids on the at risk register and marked on the contactpoint database.

rubytuesday

ford_prefect wrote: »

S

In terms of whether its acceptable to leave kids alone at that age, my view is no, but given we have a couple of celebrity kid losers who thinks its "acceptable parenting" to go off and have dinner in a distant restaurant and leave kids under 4 to babysit themselves for extended periods different parts of society have different viewpoints.

I think that is a bit harsh!!