MSE Parents Club Part 10

searching_me

later can i ask advice about money ... i need cold harsh opinions ... its long and i need to do our dinner thats why i said later x

SusanC_2

SugarSpun wrote: »

Will your OH be more confident to shout up and tell the midwives to follow the birth plan next time? I really did feel that mine was more concerned with what the nurses thought of him/us than my feelings - he was all about speaking to them in German so they'd feel more comfortable, but that came at the expense of my comfort and I felt very much marginalised in my own labour. Then when things went wrong it was just awful because nobody had the time even to explain anything so he was getting all the information he could and then not passing it on.

I doubt it. (Which is why my current plan is NHS homebirth with a doula.) He's not really a stand up for your rights and make a fuss person and tends to be willing to accept things on the assumption that the other person might be having a bad day etc. He would never out and out declare that someone was incorrect and is always willing to believe that something is his mistake rather than theirs. He also doesn't like to question medical staff who are supposedly the experts as he expects that they would be knowledgable about what is best. (He does however now object when we see real/TV births on TV and they do things like make people lie on their back so I am making progress.) I never would have expected him to have to stand up for me though and if I'd known it to be necessary would have made appropriate arrangements knowing that it isn't something he would feel able to do under normal circumstances never mind when he's all stressed out. I can imagine him doing the German thing though as because he does sometimes have a tendency to be more concerned about other people and not inconveniencing them than about inconveniencing me. I think it's because when he's doing that kind of thing, he's thinking of us as one unit so it's "us" and "them" and so "we" should be nice and accomodating to "them" so he is thinking about how "we" relate to "them" rather than thinking of us both as separate individuals and how what he is doing will affect me IYSWIM.

Glamazon wrote: »

In fact I complained about the Parentcraft as a whole because it was dreadful - we were unlucky that the usual MW was on leave when we went and she is fab!

Ours was rubbish - the only good one was when the usual lady was away and the student did it. The first session she phoned up and told OH we needed to bring a pillow or large cushion. Then the first thing we were supposed to do in the first session was practise labour positions from a sheet. I refused to do it on the grounds that I was wearing a skirt. Next thing we did was fill in a sheet of how much time we spent in a day doing different things and how much time we would spend doing different things once the baby was born. She went on about how bad it was looking after a baby and how bad it is having girls. We then did a couple of other things which I forget the detail of before finishing with a video all about how bad it is for your baby if you are stressed!

Glamazon wrote: »

There are lots of people MIA :(:(:(

This explains why I've been managing to keep up recently.

helen81_2

Hi all
I'm trying my best to keep more in with you guys,just reading back now..from pg 235 :o:o xxx

3onitsway

Glamazon wrote: »

There are lots of people MIA :(:(:(

Harley
Fitzio - although she is lurking and is OK cos I PM'd her
r.mac
Septemberbaby
Angela
Boogelly
Carla
NMS
DKAM
Squishy
Mrs Moc

And MEL. She posted a few days ago that she had stuff going on, but never came back.

SusanC_2

helen81 wrote: »

Hi all
I'm trying my best to keep more in with you guys,just reading back now..from pg 235 :o:o xxx

Don't worry about trying to catch up - just read the last couple of pages and then stick your oar in. (That's what I do if there's too many pages to read.)

Sarah_Joanne

My_Fathers_Daughter wrote: »

SJ - have you seen or heard from Millie's Mum? She has been MIA for 10 days, 6 hours and 37 mins now and I miss her

She's on holiday!! She gets back on Tuesday. I want her to come home so I can show Alfie off to her!

SugarSpun

angelfairy wrote: »

when my LO used to cry around town when she was a baby, the amount of mums i'd get saying 'is she hungry'... how i wanted to say 'yes, but i am starving her for fun'

I find that infuriating too - especially because it's always implied that she's hungry because you're not doing your job properly. Hmph, old ladies and mums. Hmph.

feelinggood wrote: »

Old ladies always tell me off for not dressing LO warm enough!

Someone told me off because Molly was too hot on our first or second outing in public. She was crying and I was trying to get my boob out for her and this woman comes over to tell me it was cause she was too hot. I was so upset, but it was August and over 30 degrees - no wonder the baby was hot, but she was hungry. And I was trying to feed her.

SusanC wrote: »

Don't worry about trying to catch up - just read the last couple of pages and then stick your oar in. (That's what I do if there's too many pages to read.)

Me too, although I tend to search my name as well

Quick question before I get my bidding frenzy on - is anyone bidding on this?

pigpen

DS1.. I insisted was being FF.. noone even bothered to try to persuade me otherwise and the MW fed him abottle after bathing and dressing him.. he was CAKED in meconium.. not a good look.. nor a good first impression!! He was with me the entire 5 days I was in hospital.. through blood tests and everything.

DD1..I practically threw at the MW's at 2am after she started screaming at 10pm.. I NEEDED to sleep and she wouldn't feed or shut up..

DS3.. was whisked to NICU at 2:30am after a speedy cuddle.. he had cardiac arrest as he was delivered, it took them 20 minutes to get him breathing.. I had a bath, was taken to see him.. needed to sleep.. and saw him again at about 11am. He was 7 days when I got him back.

DD2 whisked to SCBU for O2 as she had squelchy lungs.. I slept a full 12 hours.. She was 5 days before I got her back.

DS3 was in NICU/SCBU 3 weeks.. I didn't much want him back.. I had a 10 second cuddle and he was gone. I felt like he was someone elses baby for a very long time.

DD3.. was whisked off after a quick cuddle.. at 5:30am.. I got to feed her at 11am.. she had been given a cup feed in this time. She was 3 days when I got her back. I discharged us both after 3 days.

DD4.. was whisked off again after a quick cuddle.. they were meant to be bringing her to me but couldn't get a line in so had to go in throught the umbilical vein.. so she was 2 days before I got her back.. also had a couple of cup feeds.

DD5.. went nowhere.. she was too loud.. noone wanted her lol.. though I had the room right next to the exit doors and they expected me to leave her unattended and walk (5 hours after section) to the other end of the ward to the dining room for dinner.. I told them I'd be having ALL my meals in my room as I was not leaving her unattended for a second.. esp not next to the doors!! They chose not to argue with me.. I have a reputation!! lol

elle_gee

Cheeky so-and-so... OH has just asked if we're selling the house because I've been working so hard to tidy up and clean the kitchen this afternoon that it looks almost fit for an estate agents brochure Proud of myself now though.. Think we might have to have takeaway for tea - don't want to cook in it now!

searching_me

elle i get like that .. you spend forever cleaning you dont wanna mess it up x