MSE Parents Club Part 10

BeenieCat

God, i was really upset that my ex wasn't there for the birth but seeing the OH's on this programme it doesn't look like i missed much

(don't anyone tell me how amazing yours were cos i'll cry )

SusanC_2

annielove wrote: »

I don't post often at all but just read this "maybe formula isn't as good as breastmilk" am outraged by this so, so insensitive . Maybe I should go back to lurking.

And did you read the context? You know, like the fact that it was actually an apology for possibly having upset someone over the whole issue? Like the fact that the whole point of what I was saying was that formula isn't all bad? If you're a lurker, you should remember me quoting my husbands comment that formula isn't poision and also saying that bashing people over the head with "breast is best" is unhelpful for everybody. You should also have enough knowledge about me to know that I try not to upset anyone, I don't go on about breastfeeding all the time and that just last week I said that without my husband's support I am convinced I would have switched to formula. Perhaps you have read the many occasions where I have said to someone who is (or is considering) switching to formula that every single breastfeed they have given is a benefit and that switching to formula doesn't cancel out the benefits. The only time I have ever said anything remotely near "don't switch" was when Feelie was under pressure from others (IRL - not here) and I told her that she should only switch if it was her decision and not just because others thought she should. I didn't bring the issue up myself - I was only talking about it because people had being going on about it so much that someone was upset by it.

People used to call me greedy because I ate so much. If someone said to me, "Well you might eat loads but you're obviously not greedy or you wouldn't be so thin." they would not be bringing up or drawing attention to the fact that I ate lots - they would just be addressing the accusation of greed and saying, "So what if you eat loads."

MFD also passed comment on that particular part of my post but in a much nicer way. Here is my response as you seem to have missed it:

SusanC wrote: »

Yes you can ask. Initially I did mind as I thought it was unfair that you ask me to change my wording in a post where I have been apologising for any contribution I have made to making anyone feel bad and have made a great effort to word things carefully to avoid upsetting anyone considering that when someone told another poster that their reason for switching wasn't "good enough" you didn't feel it necessary to ask them to change their words. On reflection though I realised that you wouldn't have said anything if you thought I was an unreasonable person or deliberately malicious and insensitive to others feelings so I take it as a compliment that you felt able to ask.

Due to you request I have gone back and read my post and did consider rewording it but I think that taking into account the whole of what I wrote I was reasonable and was not bashing anyone over the head with "Breast is best" so I am going to leave it as it stands. Although I have not changed it, I will bear your comment in mind in furture discussions.

I will also add that I am happy for anyone to point out at any time if they think I have said something which is hurtful or insensitive to others. I do make a conscious effort not to and I try to be particularly careful on the subject of breastfeeding and weaning but that does not mean I always succeed and I would rather someone point out my error than that I go round hurting and upsetting other people. I would say though that in some cases it might be more sensible to do so by PM as I fear that if you publically criticise my relatively moderate statements regarding formula vs. breastmilk it may make others feel there is no point in trying to be moderate as people are going to object anyway. That is not how I took your point but I can see that it could be taken that way and I wouldn't want the flames to be fanned further.

Do I make any sense at all?

In what context is it allowable to say that formula isn't as good as breastmilk? Is this (quote from a PM I wrote) acceptable?

I have removed the quote as I did not want to leave such personal information out in public.

How outrageous of me to say "whilst formula feeding might not be as good for a child as breastfeeding" in a paragraph like that. It is a fact that formula is not as good as breastmilk but it is not the most important aspect of parenting as I know from bitter experience.

And here I will end as I can't see the keys properly to typr.

BeenieCat

What's oing on with the blonde one is she early? She was saying she wasn't ready

got-it-spend-it

The theatre on Channel 4 at the mo is where Henry was born!

csh_2

feelinggood wrote: »

I mean unassisted as in no forceps, induction, internals. I don't mind midwives being there, but want them to only touch me as a real last resort.

Ah OK got worried for a sec!

LO got into distress and they prepped me for a c-section, but I managed to get him out before the anesnatist arrived. I wonder if I could have avoided the distress by not being induced.

I wasn't induced second time around and baby was in distress. No one can say for 100% what has caused the distress

searching_me

this programmes making me want to cry x

MadDogWoman_2

Blonde ones baby has some of it's intensines on the outside.

ladybirdintheuk

DH is playing games, so I'm missing out on watching

After having to go into surgery afterwards this time, I wouldn't consider a home birth. I suspect I'm probably less likely to have problems the second time around (when I spoke to the doctor about it she said tearing is less likely as everything has already been stretched), but so long as I get to be in the pool with gas and air I'll be ok!

feelinggood_2

csh wrote: »

I wasn't induced second time around and baby was in distress. No one can say for 100% what has caused the distress

Did you have pre-eclampsia both times? It is interesting to compare these things, I don't know much about those who had babies after me. I must re-read the birth stories thread. I also worried about it being because he was earlier than I thought, but I notice your LO most certianly wasn't early!

Elle - the 'Cascade of Intervention' thing was something I heard at the NCT Antenatel classes, think it is a common phrase.

Susan - I hope you are okay. Thank you for everything x

BeenieCat

Aww bless that son, think i see why she got him there cos her OH is useless