MSE Parents Club Part 10

three2be

weezl74 wrote: »

MW pushes him back on roughly (ouch in spades) and says:

"the thing is, it's not all about you anymore Darling"

eh excuse me slaps MW
cheeky mare, don't these people realize the effect their blaze attitude can have:mad:

Millie's_Mum

I havent' got time at the mo to respond to everyone so this is just my initial reaction (My neighbour has a problem with his drains this morning and apparantly it involves taking up my drive to sort it out) but all your points are really helpful to me.

Feelie I think the instructions being on the tin is neither here nor there, I'm sure you read an awful lot of 'instructions' on BF before you had Toby, it didn't turn out to really follow the 'instructions' did it?

MFD I didn't know about Hubby either, hes a big boy though and as you say you are going to have enough on your plate without visiting too, Can't think of anything to take into hospital although it might be nice if you wrote to him whilst he's in there (a proper letter)

Its a one group only deal so if it was decided it had to be a BF group then that would be it (theres no option to have two groups) and all the many people who need help and support with ALL aspects of feeding ie FF/Weaning would be excluded, what MFD says about feeling like her BF club being unwelcoming is very valid and is also my experience of similar things.

Plus I really wouldn't want two groups, how elitist would that be? You can't come to this group because you do not BF.but I can! If there are BF people who would object to have FF people there then I'm not sure I'd want to go to that group if I was BF or not!

weezl74

elle_gee wrote: »

Relaxing morning pottering about at home, then nipping into work to drop off my friend's birthday present then to training (starts half an hour earlier today cos we got into a debate about c-sections last week and overran! :cool:). Then nipping into town to the bank and to get my Mum's birthday card. No idea what to get her and it's her birthday on Monday! Then back here to pick OH and Rhys' tea up, then to Mum's for tea and for OH to fix my uncle's laptop. Then finally home! *phew*

Hope training is good today elle, and hope inspiration strikes for your mum

money_maker_3

sorry, disappeared there, mum phoned

Busy enough day elle !! Take the rest this morning !! You will need it !

csh_2

weezl74 wrote: »

YES! great point

It also made me feel like I couldn't justify being the key feeder or to sometimes take fergus away from a big group and just feed to him and chat gently to him.

MIL said: Oh well since he's not BF I can do the bottles this weekend

I dumbly nodded and then watched her hold the bottle with the airflow hole in the wrong place every feed and then get painful trapped wind.

I also ended up making guests cups of tea and chocolate brownies while they bottle fed fergus. Whilst desperately wanting it to be the other way round but feeling I couldn't justify it.

When its your baby chick, you don't have to justify it! No-one other than me or OH feed Kieren til he was about 2 mths old, even then its only been about 3 times. Twice MIL and once my Mum.

Anyone asking if they could feed him was just told no. Feeding still has to be established even when FF. Kieren still prefers me feeding him and feeds the best when I have him

SusanC_2

weezl74 wrote: »

It also made me feel like I couldn't justify being the key feeder or to sometimes take fergus away from a big group and just feed to him and chat gently to him.

MIL said: Oh well since he's not BF I can do the bottles this weekend

I dumbly nodded and then watched her hold the bottle with the airflow hole in the wrong place every feed and then get painful trapped wind.

I also ended up making guests cups of tea and chocolate brownies while they bottle fed fergus. Whilst desperately wanting it to be the other way round but feeling I couldn't justify it.

I wonder if it's possible to find any research on bottle feeding and attachment to support you in limiting feeders with Kester? (Because if you can say, "Research has shown that... it better." then it might make it easier to do.)

And my friends thought I was a bit weird because I stayed at home by myself and fed Alice. They breastfed too but would just go out and about everywhere and just breastfeed while chatting away to other people. I wanted the feeding environment to be as calm and free from distrctions as possible to ensure that Alice fed well and I can see that just because you are not breast feeding doesn't mean you won't want that (although maybe not to my extreme) too.

Millie's_Mum

WEEZL & SusanC Thankyou, your thoughts are a great help with this, what you said about encouraging people to FF in a way which is similar to BF, so mainly one person to do it, skin to skin etc.

And if it was an Inclusive group (the phrase I'm currently using with them, they love the word inclusive lol) then perhaps it would be clearer that we all are just doing our best and working out what that is and that no one has failed.

I was thinking that there are BF people who decide to wean baby on to FF when they go back to work and if we had some FF mothers there too they could help with that, the BF mothers could help the FF mothers with talking/encouraging how much time is spent one on one and hopefully (in an ideal world) we could have a mutually supportive group where BF and FF can rub along happily together.

csh_2

emlou2009 wrote: »

My boss rang to ask what hours I can do Thursday, and said she's put me down for unpaid for yesterday and will put me down for overtime on Thursday - WHY? That means I've now lost 25% off this months bonus as well as last month, and in total £100 off my yearly £250 sickness bonus, at this rate I may as well write the whole thing off! Seth's poop is very expensive at the moment

Em, meant to say last night. Write a letter to payroll and give a copy to your boss detailing which days you want to class as Emergency parental leave. Often a boss won't have a full understanding of the law with things like this and communications between you, boss and HR become muddled. If you write it out clearly then you can appeal any decision about loosing your bonus.

eta: how is poo today?

csh_2

How very strange! A car just pulled up at the bottom of my driveway, opened one of the blue bins, saw it had been emptied and drove off. Weird!
Must be someone from the council checking up on the binmen

feelinggood_2

Millie's_Mum wrote: »

Feelie I think the instructions being on the tin is neither here nor there, I'm sure you read an awful lot of 'instructions' on BF before you had Toby, it didn't turn out to really follow the 'instructions' did it?

I'm sorry if you felt my comment was hurtful, it wasn't meant to be, and I was grateful for the replies that highlighted what help FF Mums need. I apologise for upsetting you, but feel that comment was deliberately said to hurt me, so I'll withdraw from the argument.