MSE Parents Club Part 10

Fitzio

We have separate accounts and pay proportionally into a joint account for bills. I have more left over but then I buy all groceries normally. Although we have separate money, we would still class it as our money. If either of us were short we would get the other to transfer money. It doesn't matter who pays for what, it's still ours. Neither of us would make any big purchases for ourself without discussing with the other.

If I found money and thought it was in any way returnable, I definitely would try. I have handed cash into police before and tried to trace owners of mobile phones. With the bank, I spent more than half an hour being passed around trying to report the machine - no-one would take responsibility! I honestly though that the call centre would have a procedure in place for dealing with it, but they didn't. They could have lost thousands if I hadn't bothered to report it (trying to justify it to myself here!!).

feelinggood_2

I found a purse while out visiting Ladybird. We handed it in. I'd do the same with cash if it were in a shop, but out on the street I'd ask around, then claim it for myself.

OH and I have seperate accounts, as I was 17 when we married. He gives me some spends every month, and I have an emergency credit card. I ask him before I buy anything, as he does with me.

SugarSpun

We have separate accounts but in practice I look after the credit card and the online spending (there's a fair amount of this because of living in a country where so much stuff is not accessible in shops) and he does the day to day cash stuff. We also have a rule in place where it's ok to buy frivolous stuff up to a given value of money (in the month; not ok to spend €80 one day and €80 the next day) without consultation, but anything over about €75 needs to be discussed and justified. Neither of us has expensive tastes and we both hate going into shops, so the limit is quite high.

weezl74

you'll laugh at ours

we have completely shared finances and run all spends past each other apart from £5 pocket money a week, which we still usually run past each other :rotfl:.

Every type of spend has a budget and we try to keep within it and are usually pretty good.

I sort the mortgage and all bills and credit cards, but make sure DH understands all the spreadsheets in case anything happens to me.

3onitsway

Glam Are you lurking? Have you been to see the car yet?

Fitzio

Right, I am off out to Asda now. Catch you all later. x

Glamazon

SugarSpun wrote: »

Glam, are you excited about your new car?

:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j

Yep! Getting it at 2pm - just need to go and empty it.

aless02 wrote: »

hugs to all who need it this morning...sorry some of you are feeling down .

a bit of chaos chez moi...firstly, DH is being a right arsey grump (he gets in these horridly foul moods that take absolutely hours to snap out of) which doesnt help matter. Then the contractor doing our bathroom decided not to turn up for work, so we had to moan at our landlord who then moaned at the company and luckily all is sorted and another guy is coming over shortly (it would've really sucked as we're booked into a hotel for 2 nights, plus DH took today off, etc.).

Anyone know how long car tax refunds take? DH applied ages ago and we haven't heard a peep. Just had to fork out to tax the replacement car and was hoping to have the refund to pay for it by now!!

30 days according to the website - I shall be sending mine off later to get £130 back :money:

Becles - great news on the school, not so great on your home situation. Big hugs xxx

MFD - have a big squidgy hug and a sloppy kiss from Jack

Well, I've been to ASDA and done a big shop, just need to go and buy more mince once I've cooked the load I have (will go off otherwise) and then just weekly fruit, milk and bread shop. It's mostly put away although taking advantage of ASDA's 4 for £3 frozen deal has filled my freezer of frozen veg, yorkies and garlic bread.

I've bought Jack some of the 7 month jars with lumps as he seems to have gone off purees and anythign HM that I try and feed him
He;'s just had Cottage Pie with small lumps and seemed to enjoy it although he is now blowing raspberries at me! Nice,

Right off to clean the car out then go and pick up my new one!
Only cost me £9 to change it on my insurance policy! :j


finances - everything goes out of my account & OH pays me half of the total household bills, we then have seperate accounts so for example my new car is 'my' car because I will be paying for it out of my money although he is insured to drive it (if I let him). OH choses to drive a P reg Corsa & save his money! His choice but I know what I prefer
In fact OH not even seen my new car yet!

Jack has just decided to go to sleep!!!! Will have to pop him in car seat now - the car insurance changes at 2pm - gotta run xxxx

Glamazon

3onitsway wrote: »

Glam Are you lurking? Have you been to see the car yet?

I was writing that mammoth post.

Becles

SusanC wrote: »

How about Saturday 13th then?
Beenie, newbie_maz and angela, how would that be for you?

That should be ok with me.

BeenieCat wrote: »

Yay! :T Becles, how old is James??

He's 11.

Fitzio wrote: »

Becles – I agree with the others. You definitely need to sort out the financial aspect, although I never really understand how married couples have separate finances. There is no way it would be acceptable to me to be struggling to make ends meet whilst OH was drinking etc, I know everyone is different though. Can Craig not read downstairs before going to bed?

It made sense keeping everything seperate as I've always had an excellent credit record and he had a terrible one when I met him. If I get any joint financial products, I'll be have to take on his credit record, which isn't fair really.

My ex was a spender rather than a saver and ran his finances by the ATM balance. We had so many problems as I'd make sure there was cash in the current account to cover direct debits coming out, and he'd look on the ATM machine and think we were loaded and spend it, so payments bounced. I also used to put money away for annual expenses like insurances, car tax, Christmas etc., and when I needed to use that he'd drawn it out and spent in on crap! When Craig said he was a spender and not a saver, I didn't want the same thing to happen again. He also said he had no idea about budgetting and I'm quite anal about it, so he's been happy just to let me get on with it.

When I met him, I was a single parent and getting at lot in working tax and child tax credits, which I lost when he moved in. He said he would make up the shortfall, which seemed fair at the time. However I never took into account the extra costs he would bring, such as his food, toiletries, and what not, then the extra person to feed and clothe when Charlotte came along. I have asked for more money but he says he cannot afford to give me any.

Dunno why he can't read downstairs. He likes reading in bed, and I can't find a way round that as I can't sleep well with the light on. I'll look into clip on book lights and see if that would work though.

Got part 1 of my uni essay finished this morning. Just need to read it again with fresh eyes and look for mistakes now.

SugarSpun

Becles wrote: »

Dunno why he can't read downstairs. He likes reading in bed, and I can't find a way round that as I can't sleep well with the light on. I'll look into clip on book lights and see if that would work though.

I know it seems like I'm getting on his case a bit, and it's not meant that way, but if he likes reading in bed, and you need to sleep there, this isn't one of those times when it's better to compromise your own self for marital harmony. The way we work is that we can start talking about wants when everyone's needs are met. So I needed to get some sleep last night, so OH took Molly to the bedroom and closed the door, leaving me the sofa for quiet time. But if I wanted to take a long bath and OH was dropping with exhaustion, I'd meet my needs with a speedy shower and then send him off to the sofa where it's quiet so he could sleep and I'd keep Molly in the bedroom.

It's ok to sacrifice some stuff when it makes your partner happy, but if you do so much sacrificing you end up resentful it makes it hard for your relationship to recover.