Trying for a Baby part 5....

Sammy_Girl

(((hugs))) dusty - I hope you have a wonderful, stress-free holiday. Fingers crossed you sort things out with OH. See you when you get back.

Sorry SK, I should have thanked you earlier. You sent me the shepherds pie recipe many moons ago, so thank you so much :A

Well, my weekend hasn't got off to a great start. Had a barney with DH, I stormed out and took doggie for a walk, and half an hour later DH was driving round looking for me to apologise - silly sod He seems now to realise what a selfish turd he can be at times. Mindful that I need to BD copious amounts this week I've decided to let this one go cos I really dont want it to drag on (which normally happens after an argument). So he's gone to work now and promised me a BD tomorrow.


Anyways, we really need some BFPs on this thread!!! Who's next on the list????

gratefulforhelp_2

Sorry this sounds awful, but a tiny new baby with a drinking, grumpy DH?

Wouldn't fancy that much. My DH drinks too, but he's 99.9% never grumpy.

Hugs.

sexki11en

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

Sorry this sounds awful, but a tiny new baby with a drinking, grumpy DH?

Wouldn't fancy that much. My DH drinks too, but he's 99.9% never grumpy.

Hugs.

GFH - i'm glad you said something.

Dusty and Fantafan, I mean no offence but i'm known for speaking my mind, so speak my mind I shall!

If your relationships are so shaky, is TTC really the best thing to be doing?

A baby isn't a plaster to fix whatever problems you have. It's a living, breathing human. One who will rely on both parents to be there for them. If you are barely speaking to your partners right now - is announcing your PG really going to help?

You need to be in a stable relationship before you bring a baby into the world, and even then it's hard as hell.

I'm sorry if you think i'm being harsh, I really don't mean to be but I genuinely think you need to be as secure and stable as you can in your relationship before you have a baby. I am a child from a broken home - my parents only got married because they were PG with me and it lasted 3 years. It left me with some real issues for a time. Do you want that for your baby?

SK x

fantafan

It would be a miracle if I conceived as we haven't DTD for a month now. The thing that is lacking in our relationship is the affection. It's not to say I don't get a kiss goodbye in the morning, or a kiss when he gets in from work. He doesn't have a high sex drive and the fact work is stressful he wants to put emotions relating to me on hold and being female and human, I'm struggling to deal with this. He doesn't handle me being upset well and just chooses to ignore it.
He's never violent towards me. Stable, yes, we've been together since I was 18 and I'm 34 this year. I love him to bits, would never leave him but want to be actually trying...trying to be better and trying for a baby but that's what started all of this. If I managed to get pg it might actually stop him being stressed over trying...not that we're trying.
If anything DH is usually more affectionate after a drink and loses his inhibitions, only problem is I don't want him to drink too much which he struggles to get a balance. It's a catch 22. He needs to drink to relax...I need him not to so I don't get stressed if he has too much.

QQuaver

fantafan wrote: »

If anything DH is usually more affectionate after a drink and loses his inhibitions, only problem is I don't want him to drink too much which he struggles to get a balance. It's a catch 22. He needs to drink to relax...I need him not to so I don't get stressed if he has too much.

I don't know what your DH drinks, but get a non-alcoholic alternative. After a couple of real drinks, get him to change to non-alcoholic beer/wine etc.

Also, why not tell him you stopped ttc, and let's just dtd for fun for now (not preventing, just let nature do it)..
Obviously, if you get pg, then that's great. Make sure you are still on the game though, and guide dtd near ov:p

Marriage is give and take, let him win this time, so to speak;)

QQuaver

dustystar02 wrote: »

P.S this is my last day on here now as I am off to Egypt on weds and prob won't be near a computer before then.

Hope to return to lots of BFP's and maybe even a little sticky bean of my own ..xx

See you on the 17th!!!!

Have a great time in Egypt!:j

sexki11en

QQuaver wrote: »

Make sure you are still on the game though

I'm sorry but this gave me a (decaf!) tea meets monitor moment. I wasn't paying attention and didn't read that in the context it was meant :rotfl:

SK x

sexki11en

fantafan wrote: »

It would be a miracle if I conceived as we haven't DTD for a month now. The thing that is lacking in our relationship is the affection. It's not to say I don't get a kiss goodbye in the morning, or a kiss when he gets in from work. He doesn't have a high sex drive and the fact work is stressful he wants to put emotions relating to me on hold and being female and human, I'm struggling to deal with this. He doesn't handle me being upset well and just chooses to ignore it.
He's never violent towards me. Stable, yes, we've been together since I was 18 and I'm 34 this year. I love him to bits, would never leave him but want to be actually trying...trying to be better and trying for a baby but that's what started all of this. If I managed to get pg it might actually stop him being stressed over trying...not that we're trying.
If anything DH is usually more affectionate after a drink and loses his inhibitions, only problem is I don't want him to drink too much which he struggles to get a balance. It's a catch 22. He needs to drink to relax...I need him not to so I don't get stressed if he has too much.

Huge ((hugs)) honey. I'm so glad you seemed to take what I said the way I meant it to come across. It's hard when it's just words on a screen sometimes, without the tone and emotion it can so easily be taken the wrong way.

My DH struggled for a while and got really stressed out over the whole thing (as did I). He's much better now, maybe because it's taking us so long - I think we're both in a place now where we think it'll never happen so stressing less about it IYSWIM.

I know he's probably not much of a talker (men generally aren't are they :roll:) but have you really talked to him to find out what it is that's stressing him out so much. He's probably venting his stress into drinking if he's not released it by talking.

Hope things pick up for you soon but in the meantime, we're all here when you want a rant

SK x

sexki11en

Since i'm back & all, can I go on the list for 11th May please? I have no idea how accurate that is - actually I think if she's coming, AF will have arrived 2/3 days earlier but we'll see. I'll know more clearly next month once i've temped all the way through.

SK x

fantafan

sexki11en wrote: »

Huge ((hugs)) honey. I'm so glad you seemed to take what I said the way I meant it to come across. It's hard when it's just words on a screen sometimes, without the tone and emotion it can so easily be taken the wrong way.

My DH struggled for a while and got really stressed out over the whole thing (as did I). He's much better now, maybe because it's taking us so long - I think we're both in a place now where we think it'll never happen so stressing less about it IYSWIM.

I know he's probably not much of a talker (men generally aren't are they :roll:) but have you really talked to him to find out what it is that's stressing him out so much. He's probably venting his stress into drinking if he's not released it by talking.

Hope things pick up for you soon but in the meantime, we're all here when you want a rant

SK x

To be honest, I might have taken it the right way but it hasn't stopped me tossing and turning about it all night. I am not sure if Dusty is feeling too hot either. The thing with chatting on here is that you are only getting one side of the story. I have chatted some more to DH last night. He's not a big talker but I can see things from his point of view to. He does want to get back to having that type of relationship but isn't ready yet. For me, at this time of the month I stress about TTC - especially as today is OV day but the rest of the month I live in hope that things will be better by this time. I am a bit OCD, very emotional person (aka female) and capable of planning my life before I've event woken up...unfortunately my plans include some diludedness of a DH I cannot control. Yes, it has kept me with him for way longer than the fellas I could control and that's why it's still fun to be with him. The only thing that is missing is BD/affection.
Maybe I have to get some patience. I do get stressed when things are out of my control well, probably frustrated is more the word.
Have decided to take control of my life...I've lost 3.75lbs this week in my start towards the cruise, am off snowboarding today and plan to cycle lots this week. FF is back to having a life and is done moping :beer: