Social Phobia and work?

QueenOfComps

problem solved.

QueenOfComps

problem solved.

PinkMascara

JemmaLouise20 wrote: »

I have never actually heard of that but something that sounds good! Do you have any more information on it please?

i cant remember the correct job name, support desk or something, you'll have to ask someone at dwp, i know gaming companies hire for this for their billing, as do o2 and vodafone/orange basically if theres a ticketing system or contact us via email for big companies, they usually have a web support desk team =\

QueenOfComps

problem solved.

QueenOfComps

problem solved.

QueenOfComps

problem solved.

piggeh

escapee wrote: »

Piggeh, you sound almost identical to myself! I work in an office and seem to sit quietly doing my work and avoid contact with people where possible, I hate answering the phone because I sound like a gibbering wreck. Infact I avoid just about everybody and anybody now as when I try to speak, I fumble for words and even stop talking mid-sentence as I forget what to say

I am better when alone (or at least feel better) but when I am in a group of more than say three people, I just go to pieces. I have to sit sucking boiled sweets all day when at work as I get a very dry, choking feeling in my throat which, when attempting to speak, just makes me feel the need to vomit!

Yeah, I dont get a dry choking feeling, but I find it very daunting sometimes. Thing is though in my last job I hosted meetings with 2 or 3 external people and found them bearable. In fact I built very good relations probably because those that don't like to speak are good listeners. (bit cliched but rings true). At the moment I can get through my job without speaking to people, and so it's easy to stay in a 'comfort zone', but of course it's unhealthy to do so. I'm looking for a job like my last one - something I know I can do and which gets me speaking to people again, or I will continue to slip back into old habits.

You are very fortunate JemmaLouise20 I would love to go out and socialise and I would give my right arm to be able to go on holiday too, but my phobias have me beat!!

I know the answer is not to avoid situations but to tackle them head on, for I have got myself into this mess through continual avoidance for half my life. Do not expect the benefits agency to understand and put you on any type of disability benefits as mental illness is not covered in their all work capability test.

I know how you feel. Once you are at a certain level it's much easier to 'settle' for what you have. When you are at your lowest ebb you desperately want an improvement and reach out. It's just as difficult when you have improved to then continue to push yourself. I used to not be able to take a bus longer than 5 minutes without feeling I needed to go to toilet (no laughing at the back there!) and my life was pretty much ruined. Now I have much improved. It still affects me though, I don't enjoy theatre productions, flights, long journies,etc. or anything where I get stuck with no easy access to a toilet, as I tend to panic a little, but it's a lot better than it was and I can travel on the tube, bus etc without too much worry. So, I would like it to improve, but I find it difficult to use the emotional energy needed to improve further because I've got to a level that's 'acceptable'. I would quite like to run a marathon but feel I'd probably want to go to toilet after a few miles. I'd like to go down the park with my friends and play football for a few hours, but panic I'd need to go etc. Thing is these are 'small' things and I can live without them even though I'd prefer to live with them.:o On top of that I have my social phobias - I think they're obviously linked and one would probably help cure the other.

The only bit of advice I could possibly offer is not to keep your feelings to yourself, people tend to be more understanding than you think. The folks I work with are excellent and I could not wish for better co-workers.

OP - You should open up to your mum, I'm sure she will be a lot more understanding than you think. When I told my mum about my problems it was a massive relief to just confide in someone and helped me to start turning things around.

escapee - I think we both need to try and push ourselves a bit more to prove that it isn't as bad as we fear, though it's easier said than done! :mad:

Also I think it's better to have small victories rather than to go into something too 'head on' and then experience failure. If you have evidence of success, even if it's only a small push past your comfort zone, it helps build your confidence. A failure because you push too far can sometimes reinforce your negative feelings and be counter productive.

miamoo

Jemma I know that the poster is really trying to help, but please dont hide behind your computer, because if you do that your phobia will get 10 times worse during the next 10 years, I know I have been there.
The more you get embarrased by it and try and cope without facing these situations the more of a recluse you will become.

You are a young girl with your whole life ahead of you, if telling you mum scares you then dont, see your doctor first, thats what I did, dont say you feel shy, tell the truth, its a real illness that is treatable, just like a broken leg, you wouldnt keep hobbleing round in agony would you?
So why suffer when you dont have to.
I work as a mystery shopper now, I have done for coming up a year. I'm the person I always dreamed I could be (I know that sounds crazy) x

QueenOfComps

problem solved.

exitroute?

Its possible you are suffering from some form of depression and low self esteem will be part of that. Do you have a good diet? Its possible you have other health problems you are not aware of that are affecting your general low feeling as well, such as anaemia. When did you last have a health check? If your diet is not great, it might help you to take a vitamin supplement such as a multi vitamin tablet with iron. They shouldnt replace food but be in addition if your diet isnt that good. Feeling well all adds to general confidence. If it was me, i wouldnt go to the interview but would make an appointment to see my GP as soon as possible, and ask him/her for a referral to a counsellor. You should be able to talk to your GP if he asks you why but if you feel unable to, simply say you need help to come to terms with a traumatic childhood. You neednt say anymore. Those few words can be rehearsed by you before you see him/her.