Social Phobia and work?

wontfallforit

JemmaLouise20 wrote: »

Thank you. I have got a volunteering appointment/interview on monday but i am all ready really worried about it. Do you think the volunteering office would mind if a member of family was too come in there with me? Or would they not be happy about that.

I would've thought it'd be better for you to turn up alone, if you can. I'm assuming you're a fully-fledged adult? Turning up with a friend/relative might send out some strange vibes.

BUT, I also think it'd be better for you to turn up with company, than to not turn up at all. How about making the trip with your relative, but having them wait outside?

Also, I wouldn't worry too much about this 'interview'. It's likely to be informal, and more about getting to know bits & bobs about you and your life, rather than some kind of nerve-wracking interrogation.

Sorry, I can't really relate to your situation, so I don't exactly have bags of advice to give. I think the replies on this thread are proof enough that you're not alone in this matter, though.

Best wishes, and good luck x

exitroute?

Spose i can guess the answer from your username? Its such a complicated matter but there will be reasons for your lack of confidence and its that you need to think about and address. The fact that you have posted on here says you are ready to get some help. Thats a good sign in itself and is the first step to getting some control. You have no doubt read/heard about actors and clebs saying they are shy. It seems ridiculous but they hide behind the characters/personas they create. Alot of women achieve this with make up and clothes which is not so easy for men. I cannot leave my house without make up. I dont wear alot at all but nevertheless, its amazing how different i feel with it on. I found what makes me feel more confident and you will too. Do you have anything that you can put in your pocket or a handbag or wear for the 'interview' that has sentimental value? It might help you feel better and less alone. I wouldnt ask for someone to attend with you. Its only going to be a very informal chat and they will be very nice people. You will have something in common with them immediately as they will have been for the informal chat you are going to as well. See this as the first step to changing your life and something that you must do on your own. A bit like first day at school etc..take a deep breath just before you meet whoever you will talk to and remember they dont know you or anything about you. You can be who you want to be. Go in with a smile and think...this is the first day of the new me. You are equally as good as anyone else. All you have to do is realise that and start to enjoy your life. x

QueenOfComps

Problem Solved.

QueenOfComps

Problem solved.

exitroute?

My longer reply is in post before last..must have been typing at the same time. Who has organised an interview for a receptionist job? Are you under some sort of obligation to attend?

exitroute?

I would employ you any day. Do you have anyone to talk to who is not in the family?

QueenOfComps

Problem solved.

escapee

piggeh wrote: »

I suffer from social phobia as well. In fact I also suffer from toilet phobia as well (which has ruined my life somewhat although is better than it used to be). It always feels lonely trying to deal with these issues as most people don't seem to empathise much about it.

I work in an office now, hardly any contact for the whole day with people. When the phone rings (rare) I find it difficult to talk and difficult to approach others in the office. However in my job before these were daily occurences and I grew to enjoy them somewhat. Because I was in a sink or swim scenario I was forced to challenge my thinking and it really helped in overcoming my anxieties. You need something that challenges your thinking and helps break the mental cycle you get yourself in.

CBT is a really great help in helping to overcome social phobias or anxieties. I would recommend asking your GP to be referred (don't ask for counselling, ask for Cognitive Behaviour Therapy). Also, the following website has some modules which you can work through and can be really helpful. The forum there is full of support as well:

http://www.livinglifetothefull.com/index.php

It is very daunting and I know what you go through. I was practically housebound for months when I was at my worst, but CBT really helped and I've started to enjoy myself a bit more in life.

Piggeh, you sound almost identical to myself! I work in an office and seem to sit quietly doing my work and avoid contact with people where possible, I hate answering the phone because I sound like a gibbering wreck. Infact I avoid just about everybody and anybody now as when I try to speak, I fumble for words and even stop talking mid-sentence as I forget what to say

I am better when alone (or at least feel better) but when I am in a group of more than say three people, I just go to pieces. I have to sit sucking boiled sweets all day when at work as I get a very dry, choking feeling in my throat which, when attempting to speak, just makes me feel the need to vomit!

JemmaLouise20 wrote: »

It varies like that for me too. I can go out with my friends to town drinking.

You are very fortunate JemmaLouise20 I would love to go out and socialise and I would give my right arm to be able to go on holiday too, but my phobias have me beat!!

I know the answer is not to avoid situations but to tackle them head on, for I have got myself into this mess through continual avoidance for half my life. Do not expect the benefits agency to understand and put you on any type of disability benefits as mental illness is not covered in their all work capability test.

The only bit of advice I could possibly offer is not to keep your feelings to yourself, people tend to be more understanding than you think. The folks I work with are excellent and I could not wish for better co-workers.

QueenOfComps

Problem solved.

miamoo

I also suffered really badly with social phobia when I was younger, I suffered with anxiety when I went out, severe blushing, sweating, I had no idea what was wrong with me and suffered in silence untill I was around 28.

I had no idea what it was called, or that it even had a name i just new I was a nervous wreck all the time for no reason at all.

With medication from the doctor and cognitive therapy (and reading lots of self help books) I am 99% better now, still have the odd bad day, but doesn't everyone!

Go to see your GP tell them exactly how you feel, you dont need to feel this way x