Modestly-priced fun for becoming-deaf old bloke with no interests

EdInvestor

He seems to have had a pretty high status career (even if the last bit ended up problematic), perhaps he is feeeling the lack of status in doing not very much as a retiree?What could he do that would enable him to exercise his skills?The right type of voluntary work?Something on the internet?

Recognition may be what he is missing.

Errata

I agree with Edinvestor. When someone finally retires and after they've done the loafing around the house bit, because they can, they sometimes start wondering who the hell they are, and is this all there is. Which can be a bit of a downer and make them feel all at sea.
I certainly started questioning who and what I was, once I'd caught up with the decorating.
As I've previously suggested, now might be the time for the OP to say "You don't seem yourself, and I'm getting a bit worried about you" which seems to be the crux of the matter.

Misstress

morganlefay wrote: »

I wrote a long reply yesterday and it got lost before I could post it – will now summarise. OH worked in senior managerial job at BBC for many years but some 16 years ago was offered voluntary redundancy which he took as terms were good then. Then he set up a business with a partner which did very well for a while, but then the market got harder and things started going a bit wrong, they took on another partner and eventually OH and new partner carried on together. Things got worse and some 18 months ago we were in danger of the Bank repossessing our house because of loans to the business. While all this going on I had breast cancer and 18 months ago developed diabetes.(I’m all fine now, cancer gone and treated well with insulin). Finally about 12 months ago we managed to slide out of the bank’s grasp, and OH got out of the business but only when I had spent all my savings paying off some (but not all) of his debt. I think that the stress of his business stuff made him change so that he now blocks out anything unpleasant and pretends it isn’t happening. I find this quite hard, myself.I am currently doing a higher degree in English – very esoteric and the reading very dull for anyone not interested in my subject (he isn’t) so no sharing there and anyway he is v slow reader while I am v fast. I have tried to suggest cookery – bought the Jamie Oliver book, and also wrote out simple versions of our favourite recipes (shepherd’s pie, chicken casserole, cauli cheese etc – all simple family stuff) and he can do it but prefers not to as I’m a good cook, so why would he bother ? He does like walking, which I can’t easily do as have v arthritic knees and it hurts, and I shall explore this more on his behalf.
But actually perhaps some of you are right and I should just let him sit about. It’s just that he used not to be so aimless, we used to laugh and have fun doing stuff together (which we now mostly can’t afford – we used to have a lot of holidays, went to lovely places, had huge fun and now can’t – tho we do have lovely memories) and I feel that if he slides into the mud he will never get out. Of course that’s part selfishness on my part, but what with never hearing what I say and not doing very much he seems to be closing in on himself, which just seems sad for the jolly playmate I used to have.
I appreciate all your ideas and thoughts, and will certainly try some of them.

I agree, your post SHOUTS DOG!
Its a great way to get out the house, definately something to get you out of bed in the morning and you get chatting to other dog walkers especially if you frequent the same place/time daily. And you can also visit other lovely places that you just wouldnt go to otherwise.

Savvy_Sue

Walking for Health, or your local council, might find you a local walking group. The ones round here are also always keen to train up Walk Leaders, which he might enjoy, given time.

I'm in a local group which also does social activities to which DH sometimes tags along (he can't walk because he doesn't work a 4 day week like me. )

nitr02007

Misstress wrote: »

I agree, your post SHOUTS DOG!
Its a great way to get out the house, definately something to get you out of bed in the morning and you get chatting to other dog walkers especially if you frequent the same place/time daily. And you can also visit other lovely places that you just wouldnt go to otherwise.

Good for the health too, people with dogs are supposed to live longer. Dogs are great!:D

Coopdivi

Get him to take up Home Brewing. It's cheap, he can get pished every night and it might make him more talkative....

esseesee

What works for my friend, who can only hobble, due to a stroke, and her partner, who loves to walk for miles and miles, but who suffers from a small degree of arthritis in his feet and ankles is - a wheelchair.

My friend gets to sit in comfort like Lady Muck, while her partner gets a good workout for his upper body from the pushing, and a little relief for his feet by leaning on the chair. Obviously they can't rampage up and down mountainsides, but the sort of paths and trails one gets in NT properties, country parks and FC centres are fine.

They both enjoy themselves, that's the main thing - even when he tripped over his own feet, tipped up the chair and my friend fell out into a puddle of mud!

Savvy_Sue

If not quite ready for the wheelchair yet, then visiting NT properties can be a good compromise: you can sit for a bit, while he can stride around the grounds. And then TALK about what you've each seen!

exil

If he does like walking, try the Rambler's association. OUr local group is dominated by retirees in their 60s, 70s and 80s.

mk_wotsit

He might like Geocaching......and it's FREE!!!!

It involves walking, Ordance Survey Maps and a handheld GPS

The idea is to find a hidden container at a set of co-ordinates and sign the logbook inside. Then come home and log your visit online.

www.geocaching.com