Pregnant at 45 with coil fitted - help

angelsmomma

BonandDom wrote: »

Well not so much help, but a chat really.

I have had a coil fitted since the birth of my DD (16 now) and never had any problems. My period was due mid dec and I got the normal signs, lower back pain, heaviness etc but only very small spotting. I have never been particularly regular and having recently suffered from night sweats and extreme moodiness (according to DH:rolleyes:) I though I maybe starting the menopause as my mum had hers in her early 40's.

Anyway, since then I have been bleeding, very slightly. With Chrismas, snow, starting a new job etc I finally got round to going to the docs yesterday. :eek::eek:I'm pregnant:D:D.


I don't know what to feel, been up all night worrying and thinking.

I am in reasonable good health, however these things keep going round in my head

- I'll be 61 and this baby will still be at school
- I'm not sure that we can afford this baby, DH's business suffering in the current economic climate, so I have had to find a temp 6 month job (ironically to cover maternity leave).
- As well as working full time I also do all the admin and book-keeping for hubby, three dogs etc
- DD - how is she going to react, she has had a particularly bad time with bullying at school and I can't help feeling its not fair on her, she's wanting to go to uni after college and I just can't see us being able to afford it with this baby
- what risks are there because I have a coil fitted
- what risks are there because I'm 45

I have another appointment at the docs on monday, when I wil ask to have a scan done to find out just how far gone I am.

Anyone out there who has been in a similar position, can offer advice etc, just need to hear what others have to say

Thank you and sorry for the long winded explanation

I don't know about the coil situation sorry. I was 45 when I found out I was pregnant with my son who is now 8. My daughters were 25 and 27 at the time and I had been told 16 years earlier that I couldn't have any more after PID so you can imagine my shock. :eek:

That said I had no problems with the pregnancy at all, in fact to be honest I quite enjoyed the look on peoples faces when my grandaughter called me grandma while I was staggering around with a huge lump :rotfl:

All I can say is its great fun for me and I truly enjoy having him in my life despite the hard work involved. I am 53 tomorrow but feel he has kept me young.

All the best

snapping_crocodile

Just wanted to say congratulations. As others have said only you know how old or young you are at heart!! And just think you have a ready made baby sitter in your daughter!! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: With regards to her wanting to go to uni she still can. Not everyone can afford to help their children through uni but they still manage. She'll have a loan, and then may just need to get a part time job for extra cash, but ulitmately that is a very good life lesson for her on managing her finances! You have a lot to think about. Gather all the information your doctor etc can give you, and give yourself time to digest it all. As someone has said there is unfortunately a higher chance of things such as downs syndrome, but the docotrs can tell you more. Hope you manage to scrape your chin off the floor sometime soon!! :rotfl:

helend

Congratulations! Although different circumstances, when I fell pregnant with my third in 2007 I was so shocked I just couldn't believe what had happened. As far as I was concerned our family was complete. My emotions swung from being happy, confused, sad to absolutely furious (and ashamed of myself for feeling so furious)! Give yourself a bit of time to get over the shock and then go with how you feel, everything else will fall into place with time.

My little girl turned 2 just before christmas and she is the best most fantastic surprise I've ever had! (that said the little booger has just been drawing all over the shelf with her crayons, whilst I've been writing this:rotfl:)

Pollycat

Hi
I can't really help with any of your questions or concerns, but I just wanted to send you hugs and to say whatever you do, don't make hasty decisions (I'm sure you won't anyway) and whatever happens, I hope things work out well for you, hubby and DD.

Bubbles911

I was an accident when my mum was 42 and my dad 44. My Mum was 6 months pregnant when she found out about me, she actually thought she had cancer. A lot of people thought my parents were mad and should have got rid of me, my brothers were 11 and 13 at the time. Obviously my parents had me and I was bullied at school becase my parents were so much older than anyone elses and I was always paranoid that my parents were going to die while I was young (as it turned out there were 5 of us close growing up and everyone has lost one parent bar me and my parents are now in their 70s!). But it does have its really good points, my parents seem so much younger than others their age because apparently I keep them young. We have a really close relationship and growing up my brothers were like extra dads, all my friends actually thought I had 1 mum and 3 dads!

No one can decide what is right for you and your oh apart from yourselves but your smiley faces when you mention being pregnant and the fact you are so scared about the effect of the coil on the baby is a big give away as to how you feel! Your daughter may find it hard at first, I was 13 when my closest brother had his daughter and I was devastated because he was like my extra dad but as soon as Amy arrived I fell in love and now we are really close and more like sisters. I dont have kids myself but think there is never a 100% right time to have kids, there is always something like money or not having enough space that could stand in your way - you just need to follow your heart.

Good luck and I hope I am not too early in saying congratulations!

alessev1

Hi and big hugs for you first!
Congratulation on the great news and as I always beleive in fate, this whas meant to happen,whenever planned or not.
It did happen to me as well, i had a coil and two kids (11 and 6). It was so not right when it happened and i was not prepared,but the more i was pushing towards termination and how much i don't want another kid he stay and survived(had the coil inside through the whole pregnancy and the docs explained there could be complications).I have now a small boy( 6 months) and in born on the same date as my eldest.At 36 I enjoy so much looking after him and the other two love him very much, and i think what should have happened - happened!
So i hope you make the desision right for you.

cte1111

Unplanned pregnancies are hard whatever your age, but many of us are here as a result of them. Try and relax and wait and see how far along you are before making any decisions.

Just one thought from me. My OH's little sister is 14 years younger than him and he and his brother have always been like extra parents to her, which is nice for her I think. But when I fell pregnant I realised that my OH had big issues about pregnancy, mainly because his mother had discussed with him the possibility of having an abortion of his little sister. So from his experience, I would say please don't include your DD in the discussions about the pregnancy. She's too young to deal with it and might end up with lifelong bad feelings because of it. It is your and your OH's decision, your DD will not doubt have thoughts when you tell her but it is not up to her what happens.

diable

I heard that being pregnant when you are older is meant to make a woman look and feel 5 years younger

ymakesmile

Just thought i would share the experience my mum had. She fell pregnant when she had a coil fitted and a shock was beyond words for how my mum felt. She had my brother and I already and that was enough for her emotionally and financially. However my mum couldn't even consider getting rid of the baby, even though it was in no way ideal. She was told there was a higher risk of miscarriage because of how she fell pregnant and she would have to have the coil removed. She did go on to have a miscarriage but it was a case of what I believe is called 'vanishing twin syndrome'. She was carrying two and lost one and was told that things would be very iffy to whether she would miscarry the other however 12 years later my sister is very much here and well.
I wish you the best and hope everything works out no matter what you decide to do.

Js_Other_Half

I just wanted to say that a lot more women are having babies in their 30's and 40's than you might think. At any playgroup/class etc I attend with DS I am never the youngest - and I'm 40.