depression

Horasio

muffin502 wrote:

Hi to all posters

Hope you are not feeling too bad today. I just thought I would say that I AM IN MY PJ'S STILL! There is nothing to feel guilty about being in our pjs if we want to be!

I went back to work yesterday, after being off for over a month. GP didn't advise it but , if you have read my earlier posts, I don;t get paid if I am off and cannot afford any more time. However I went in from 10 to 4.00 and I intend to keep these hours until I feel A1 again. Which at themoment I do not. I managed to work til 4.00 but I was very tired at the end of the day. And today I have not gone in at all - didn't sleep very well last night and quite frankly don;t feel up to it today. So I am going in on alternate days this week - and if my boss doesn;t like it it's tough .......! I am putting MY HEALTH FIRST - the only thing that matters. I would say to all others who don;t feel ready for work - take it one day at a time - baby steps only. Depression takes time to be treated so be patient and put yourself first! :T :T

I'm staying in my PJs too. I have a bad cold and taking advantage of having a rest day.

Don't you find that people who advise you to goto work to cure depression have no understanding that it takes a monumental effort to do it.

If you feel you can only handle alternate days, it is better in long term to start slowly and build up, rather than overdo it and have to take more time off.

feelinggood_2

CCStar wrote:

Don't you find that people who advise you to goto work to cure depression have no understanding that it takes a monumental effort to do it.

I had to give up my part time job back in Feb. I'd been signed off for about 8 weeks and then had the meeting with the OHN or something. He was really nasty, basically telling me that I need to get over it, come to work, ignore the panic attacks and do my job! Then at the end of the meeting, the manager said that if I didn't come back in 2 weeks, there wouldn't be a job for me. Was so upset and angry, I handed my notice in then and there.
I'd have expected a bit more support from them really - a big company. They didn't pay me anything while I was off sick, didn't need to replace me - still feel annoyed at how they treated me.

Miroslav

feelinggood wrote:

I'm still in my jammies but I've done some housework! Just need to vacuum, do a load of washing and wash up.
Mood is alright today, but I'm feeling a little bit agrophobic.
Went to shop last night, didn't have a panic attack as I was a bit drunk hehe.
Right now the thought of going out fills me with dread, but hoping I'll be able to go to the gym on Friday. When I was major depressed last time, I'd leave the house to go to the doctors once a fortnight - other than that I stayed in hehe. Don't want to get like that again!

Miroslav, I'm not all that good at reading posts, and can't rememeber what is wrong with this girl? If it is depression, it might be the similar thing that I get, that I just can't meet people. A lot of the time I can't even call, text or email, so she may need a lot of time.
You sound like a great guy, and if she isn't ready for friendship with you, it is not a reflection on you AT ALL. I don't know you very well, but you seem lovely. Remember that!!

Housework? What's that? Hopefully you can get to the gym. Exercise is meant to be good for you.

She has psychosis. She is on heavy medication though, which enables her to go about her daily duties okay. I'm worried what will happen when she comes off them! Last time, my flatmate and I had to wander the local country park as she was wandering all around them talking to herself and had no idea of what she was doing, and my flatmate was too worried to leave her on her own. We didn't find her, but eventually saw her heading out the park from a distance, so we walked that way incase she came back, but she didn't. She's just easily used and often abused, mainly by blokes. Sadly, because of her desperation to be loved, she's over friendly and easily used, but my flatmate says because i'm bigger than any bloke she's met, she knows smaller ones have hurt quite severely and she panics when i'm around most of the time, but sometimes has the courage to say hello and goodbye if my flatmate is there. Like the mumbling fool I am, I just smile and mumble hello and goodbye as i'm shy....I wish I could say "Hi, how are you today" but if I got a bad response, i'd want the ground to swallow me whole!

I'm like you, can;t meet people. I can;t call people, texting is hard and I often refuse calls, unless it's my flatmate as always worry she needs help. E-mails I often put off as well. This girl is not too bad when on her medication, but can be edgy if it's not going too well and can get nervous, especially around me

It may be no reflection on me, but i've had something pulling me towards her for over 3 years, often hearing of her latest beating or disaster and I just want it to stop. I just wanna be there for her, and protect her. I know it's not gonna happen, and in time, I will get over it, but for a while, I just need to go through the healing process.

Thanks for the nice comments. I am kind, caring and look out for people. I guess people just don't appreciate me

feelinggood_2

Miroslav wrote:

It may be no reflection on me, but i've had something pulling me towards her for over 3 years, often hearing of her latest beating or disaster and I just want it to stop. I just wanna be there for her, and protect her. I know it's not gonna happen, and in time, I will get over it, but for a while, I just need to go through the healing process.

Thanks for the nice comments. I am kind, caring and look out for people. I guess people just don't appreciate me

I really hope it works out for you both, looks like you could be good for each other
Wish I'd have had someone like you during my first 'depression', I was in a similar situation, easily used/abused. Why do we put ourselves through these things?
Healing process hurts like hell, I'm going through it in a round-about way, but it is getting easier.
I've done the washing up and cleaned the kitchen!! Yay for me - still lots to be done tho.
Off for lunch, catch you later.
Hope you manage to eat something (i've never once lost my appetite hehe - would probably do me good to loose it!)

Miroslav

feelinggood wrote:

I really hope it works out for you both, looks like you could be good for each other
Wish I'd have had someone like you during my first 'depression', I was in a similar situation, easily used/abused. Why do we put ourselves through these things?
Healing process hurts like hell, I'm going through it in a round-about way, but it is getting easier.
I've done the washing up and cleaned the kitchen!! Yay for me - still lots to be done tho.
Off for lunch, catch you later.
Hope you manage to eat something (i've never once lost my appetite hehe - would probably do me good to loose it!)

Well, I think we could be. Even my flatmate thinks so, and after what happened with my ex (who I met through my flatmate!) she's done her best to make sure I never see any of her friends!

I think some people think they are only good enough to be abused. I don't think me in her life would change that, at least not straight away, but at least I could try and pick up the pieces. Long term, if we had a relationship (and i'm not wanting that now OR expecting it ever), i'd expect her to cheat, which is why I don't think it would be a great idea for a sexual/romantic relationship, but a good friendship where I could look out for her and she could support me. She's said she wants to, to my flatmate, as she knows i've had it tough.

Enjoy lunch, congrats on washing and cleaning! I couldn't face that right now I've even turned my phone off Not that this girl will call me as she doesn't have my number. Got excited this morning when an unrecognisable phone number contacted me.............landlord :rolleyes: I was hoping for a nice soft voice "Hi, it's 'The Girl', fancy meeting me today"

Fantasy land

I'm off to lay down, speak soon :wave:

Bunnie1982

Thanks everyone for the warm welcome

The jobs I am going for are general admin, seem like low stress jobs which would suit me nicely. The job I have been signed off from at the moment is very stressful and a lot of office politics, the people made me feel really miserable and my confidence has taken a huge blow.

I just simply have not got the motivation to do anything today, there is housework to be done but I just look at it and cry, the only thing I enjoy doing round the house at the moment is cooking

Mrs_A.

hiya folks
i have eventually came out of the closet so to speak!!!!!
i admitted to my work that i had depression and that i had a sick line for 2 weeks and to be honest i feel slightly better for admitting to it. my boss who is usually very nasty asked what help i was getting and asked me to stay in touch with her as we would need to make a plan together as regarding my comming back to work.
to be honest if i never went back it would suit me down to the ground but as i can afford not to work i dont have a choice.
i phoned for my DLA application form on monday so just got to wait on that comming and then begin the slog of filling it in when i feel motivated enough to do so.
had my first computerised cognitive behavoural therapy session this morning....i dont know how i feel about it parts of me feel that i am a fraud and that i am only a little bit depressed and other parts of me feel i am really severelly depressed and need major help.
who knows.
my gp put my paroxitine up again, now on 50mgs daily but these meds are really starting to affect my intimate life (if you know what i mean without giving out too much information) and i feel as my lovely hubby is so supportive of me and all my moods etc the least i can do is enjoy myself for both our sakes when we do become intimate.
sorry too much info!!!
think i will need to discuss this with hubby, gp and my key worker at the day hospital.
hope everyone is well
kindest regards
mrs a

Horasio

Bunnie1982 wrote:

Thanks everyone for the warm welcome

The jobs I am going for are general admin, seem like low stress jobs which would suit me nicely. The job I have been signed off from at the moment is very stressful and a lot of office politics, the people made me feel really miserable and my confidence has taken a huge blow.

I just simply have not got the motivation to do anything today, there is housework to be done but I just look at it and cry, the only thing I enjoy doing round the house at the moment is cooking

When I get the cooking bug, I bake and freeze any excess. If you feel creative, then make a nice meal, it will make you feel better. The housework doesn't matter. Go with what makes you feel good.

feelinggood_2

When I get bad, things tend to fall apart at home. Its teetering on the edge at the moment. Its like I get scared of doing the hosuework - I can't really explain it. I put things off and off and things become such huge jobs. Still managing to cook most nights - about once or twice a week I won't feel up to cooking, but still a lot better than it used to be. Sad thing is, I love cooking. Some times I cant handle the stress of even sticking a jacket potato in the oven.
Someones said something that hurt a bit - nothing nasty but just an off the wall comment about something that sorta hurt. So I'm going to lick my wounds.
Talk to ya later x

Bunnie1982

Just spent ages in the kitchen preparing some food for tonights dinner and I felt really good about myself. I logged onto another message board I go on and asked for serving suggestions and I have been accused of not making them and to "go look at the packaging for serving suggestions..."

So now I feel low again and completely useless, feel like I am no good at anything. Going to find somewhere to cry for a while