depression

Slayerx

Tiff wrote:

Morning Slayerx - good luck for Monday angel - let us know how you get on. If you have any problems I'll send them a Tiff letter - believe me, no-one wants a Tiff letter!:D
Just remember angel - there are always more options to go onto so don't give up. And don't eat the doctor like you did the last one!:rotfl:
Calm down dear, it's just a doctor's appointment!;)
Best wishes x

Your so funny :rotfl:

I'll try not too, I am going to make it clear to him though that I wasn't impressed with the other doctors attitude.

I'm also thinking of complaining to the NHS about the support in Bradford for depression, if i'm not getting the correct help them others too aren't and I think it's time something was done.

BungleGirl

Hi All!

I haven't read all of this thread (I just found it and am actually supposed to be working at the moment!) so I hope it is okay to jump in with a bit about me and in particular to respond to the recent posts from flis21 as I am in am having similar work problems too.

I have had depression a couple of times in the past - firstly postnatal depression in 2000, then again when my father died in 2001 and possibly again last year but am unsure if it was actually depression or just extreme stress from work. On all occasions I took medication from my doctor but when I took them last year I only took them for about a month or so and then stopped them myself (I know that is a really bad idea and am not recommend that anyone else shoud do the same thing!).

I have had problems at work and made a formal grievance about my line manager back in June of this year. Nothing was done about it and I was getting totally stressed out - very snappy/argumentative at home, tearful and anxious, big problems sleeping, not motivated to do anything and having very negative thoughts i.e. it's all my fault/I'm crap at everything/noone likes me etc.

What was really odd was that at times I was aware that these thoughts were not rational (I never was aware of this when it happened on the previous occasions). So I feel as though I know that I am slipping back into depression but want to take control of it before it gets bad.

Like flis21 I had the discussion with my partner and he supported me in my decision to resign from my job with no job to go to. We both agreed that I need a couple of months off after I leave to 'sort my head out' and I am really looking forward to spending more time with my family. I know that leaving a job without another one to go to is not ideal but like flis21 I am aware that the job was having a very negative effect on my mental health and also making me quite a horrible person to be around at home. I did see a job that was ideal for me but decided not to apply as I really need some 'me' time to sort myself out before I throw myself back into another job.

When I resigned I felt fantstic - I posted the letter recorded delivery (I work away from my HO) and I think that the woman in the post office thought I was mental as I was grinning so much as I handed over the envelope and the money to pay for the postage! That said I have still been stressed out since and snappy/moody/tearful and still have negative thoughts but I have three weeks left of my notice period and my employers have asked for me t do an awful lot of work in order to have a smooth handover.

I saw my counseller yesterday and talked about things - it was good - we worked out that I am very angry because I feel that my employers have forced me to leave a job that I love and feel very passionatley about. I feel that they have taken control of the situation by giving me too much work to do before I leave and I am going to email them to tell them what I will and will not be able to do in the time that I have left. This gives the control back to me. As I am aware that I am not coping I do feel that I should not actually be at work at the moment but I am going to continue to work for two weeks when I should have done the important stuff for the handover and take the final week off sick. I personally feel that they are lucky I am working at all because I really don't think that Iam up to anything at the moment.

This is a long rambling post about me now - but what I really was wanting to say to flis21 was GO FOR IT - your health is more important than your work and you have the support of your partner in your decision. Take control of the situation and finish things how YOU want to. If you hand in your notice and can't face going back and your doctor is aware of your depression I am sure that you will have no problem getting signed off. I am wokring most of my notice and doing most of what they have asked me to do because I wasnt to do the 'proper' thing which they have never done. It is easier for me because I work 45 miles away from them but more difficult because I work on a community project that I care about deeply and don't want my decisions/behaviour to have a negative effect on the project or volunteers onvolved.

I was just going to make a short post and it has gone on and on...sorry if it doesn't make much sense!

flis21

Thank you so much BungleGirl, it is so nice to hear from someone else in the same position. I have taken today and tomorrow off from work. Said that I would talk to my boss again on Friday about my decision and am going to have another chat with my husband this afternoon about it, but really think I am going to hand my notice in. Things at work are just getting worse, never better and it is having a devastating effect on my health.

The main thing I am worried about is my Mum, she will not understand and will think me very irresponsible for resigning without another job to go to. If I get the job I am going for an interview for tomorrow it won't be a problem, as I won't have to tell her. But if I don't get it, she will have to find out that I am not working and will probably have a go at me.

It is horrible having all of this spinning around in my head, but it is nice to hear from someone going through something similar and feeling happy about the decision to resign.

BungleGirl

I know that it is easier said than done - but don't worry about your Mum - only you and your husband know how your job is affecting you and if he is being supportive of your decision then that is what really matters. I personally don't want to go straight into another job as I really need some time to sort my head out. I think that if I went straight into another job I would start it with my mind still in a 'I hate work' 'work strsses me out' attitude and I think that having a break in between will mean I can go into a new job feeling fresher, confident and positive.

There is no harm in having gaps on your CV these can easily be explained away as mentioned by someone else earlier. What is important is that you don't take your stress and anxiety with you into your next job! Why not commit yourself to volunteering while you look for the right job for you - volunteering looks fantastic on a CV, is good for the soul and you can commit to 1 hour a week or 20. I am going to help out at my daughters school (I have never been able to do that before), I am going on a sewing course one afternoon per week (have had a sewing machine for ages but it just sits in it's box staring at me!), I am going to read some books I never get round to reading, attempt to get into the 'being domesticated thing' - the hoover sits next to the sewing machine staring at me too!

I am really looking forward to spending a couple of months looking after ME and doing the things I have always been to busy or stressed to do!

Good luck with the interview but if you can afford to have a little bit of time out think about it. Remember that YOU are important and if time is what you need then take it - think of it as investment in yourself and use the time wisely to create some positive experiences!

(All this said - I could be crying into my cornflakes when I actually finish work and never make it out of the house but I'm having very positive thoughts at the moment!)

flis21

Has anyone else seen that Have You Had A Mental Illness thread? I keep reading all the comments, but they are quite aggressive and nasty, so don't want to post anything over there, despite the fact that I don't think most of the posters have any ideas what it is like to really suffer with a mental illness!!

feelinggood_2

Seeing as we are on the talk of jobs, I thought I'd ask your opinions
I'm feeling pretty low at the moment - I'd say moderately depressed. I'm not as bad as I was earlier in the year (was suicidal, agrophobic and just couldn't do anything). I had to give up my part time job when I was ill.
OH is now saying I should think about going back to work. It would only be part time, and I'd work somewhere different, but I'm scared about what would happen if I got really ill again - is it better to just not go back to work?

Poppycat

Just got back from my 90 mile round trip to see my daughter in hospital, I didnt get through to DWP for social fund as it was before 9 I left and when I rang at 4.55pm no one was there to answer phone.

Shes managed to get a shower today and eat but she was sick twice, its abd enough under normal circumstances for her to eat with the OP, she is very weak and tired but she does have some energy to be cheecky so I guess thats progress.

I dont no how I get here home she cant walk she has a zimmer frame not that she can use it other than get off a cgair with wheels to the chair in shower room.

I just hope she gets back on food/drink soon

I have to go and door dinner for other daughter and grab a shower, I am absoultely knckered out with travelling and hardly any sleep and lack of food with all the time travelling.

take care

flis21

Poppycat - hope your daughter is ok. Can the hospital not provide transport for her to get home when she is let out? They were able to provide transport for my Nan to get home after her cataract operation. I hope it works out for you. Sounds like you need a long soak in a bath rather than a shower! Make sure you have some you time tonight, don't burn yourself out.

flis21

feelinggood wrote:

Seeing as we are on the talk of jobs, I thought I'd ask your opinions
I'm feeling pretty low at the moment - I'd say moderately depressed. I'm not as bad as I was earlier in the year (was suicidal, agrophobic and just couldn't do anything). I had to give up my part time job when I was ill.
OH is now saying I should think about going back to work. It would only be part time, and I'd work somewhere different, but I'm scared about what would happen if I got really ill again - is it better to just not go back to work?

Basically it depends how you feel. If you are feeling better, then give it a go. Work can be good, as it provides you with some self-respect and a sense of purpose. On the other hand if you really don't feel up to it still, don't make yourself worse by forcing yourself to do it. Could you maybe do a bit of volunteer work for a couple of weeks and see how you manage with that? If you cope ok, then look for some paid work. With volunteer work, it won't matter so much if you have to pack it up after a couple of weeks.

I hope you find a solution to your problem. If you need any advice / support don't be afraid to post.

Miroslav

EDIT: Not important.