depression

Miroslav

blinky wrote:

No, she does like you.

It's just that her feelings aren't as strong as yours are for her now. In time they may grow. It's not that common for two people's feelngs to be exactly the same at the same time.

She admitted today, she doesn't like seeing anyone more than once every 10 days or so.

I'm not sure how feelings can grow when we see so little of each other.

I've got to get her out of my head somehow, I always feel really bad after seeing her/inbetween meets, possibly as you said previously, because I don't feel she feels the same about me.

It's hard enough fighting my own emotions, when hers aren't strong with me.

It makes me start doubting myself again. Maybe I'm not just too fat and ugly for her, even though she says nice things about me, but she just likes to make people feel better.

I feel miserable, I just long for the day I don't.

When she asked me to borrow some money (which is a big thing, as she's always saying how she can do it on her own) I had hoped she was beating around the bush about something else, although I knew it wasn't going to be.

I don't think the time of year is helping my mood, only come April will I have got through the worst.........then May and June are nightmare months too

I just want to be accepted and cared about, like anyone. I've just got too much history.

Ahhhhhhhhh well.

blinky

"She admitted today, she doesn't like seeing anyone more than once every 10 days or so." - is that just her trying to protect herself? Doesn't want to get too close.

Well, two possible options:

i) Accept her feelings won't grow, stay as friends and look elsewhere. There are other girls out there and many of them clearly find you attractive. I can't tell you when you will meet the right one, but you will.

ii) Be patient with 'S'. Try and tone down your feelings for her when you are with her. I suspect they are scaring her a little. Take your time, and give her a chance to let her feelings grow for you. In time she'll want to see you more than every 10 days.

I am not a relationship expert by any means. Only you can decide what you should do, but you can ask for advice from others.

Don't take this the wrong way but reading your posts you do seem to suffer from 'black and white' thinking. i.e. Everything is either totally bad or totally good. This is quite common in depressives. Things aren't black and white more often there are inifinite shades of grey....

geminilady

Miroslav wrote:

Was going really well, hugged each other 3 or 4 times goodbye and she hugged me again for buying her a small cheap teddy bear.

It turned out well, but she didn't show much emotion towards me, but she is quite unemotional about other people at times.

I just think any feeling she may have had towards me, is now officially dead.

No idea how I feel about her, I know I am massively fond of her.



Oh dear, I'm crazy about an odd girl but she doesn't like me. Great!

Hi Miro,I am sure "S" does like you,i just think you find it hard to believe.She did come and meet you on your own without your flatmate and it did turn out better than you thought,you just want more than she can give at the moment, your own emotions are mixed up because this is such a bad time for you.I don't think you would have even got one hug if she had no fealings for you and as you say she finds it hard to show emotion i think you did really well to get the hugs.Idon't know if you aranged to meet again but she has agreed to come at christmas so you have that to look forward to.

gillette147

Hi all,

I didnt get up til 4:30pm - that's a record for me. And I could have easily stayed there. But I am much more myself today.

Finally made myself do my back exercises - and been for a walk (but got drowned). Still have two more sets of exercises to do today but I must start doing them properly. My back is deteriorating but I just haven't been able to make myself do the work. Overeating again but oh well.

Feelie
We are friends forever. You can leave MSE but you can't leave me. You are always in my thoughts and I will see you happy - you are my mission.

Rose
I know we haven't really spoken but I find myself really caring for you particularly. I respect your decision. Your health is more important than posting on here. But come back if you want to and I for one will hug you xx

Looks like it's just the rest of us

Good luck with all your searches for love, health and happiness.
Is it me or is it starting to feel Xmassy?

xx

Miroslav

blinky wrote:

"She admitted today, she doesn't like seeing anyone more than once every 10 days or so." - is that just her trying to protect herself? Doesn't want to get too close.

Well, two possible options:

i) Accept her feelings won't grow, stay as friends and look elsewhere. There are other girls out there and many of them clearly find you attractive. I can't tell you when you will meet the right one, but you will.

ii) Be patient with 'S'. Try and tone down your feelings for her when you are with her. I suspect they are scaring her a little. Take your time, and give her a chance to let her feelings grow for you. In time she'll want to see you more than every 10 days.

I am not a relationship expert by any means. Only you can decide what you should do, but you can ask for advice from others.

Don't take this the wrong way but reading your posts you do seem to suffer from 'black and white' thinking. i.e. Everything is either totally bad or totally good. This is quite common in depressives. Things aren't black and white more often there are inifinite shades of grey....

She admitted she has been too open with people in the past.

I wouldn't say I was attractive. It's my build people like.

Well, she has NO idea about my feelings. None at all. She thinks I like her and care about her as a friend........I do, only maybe more In no way have I told her how much I like her, so she can't be too scared off.

You are right, I do think black or white, all or nothing, possibly as I was brought up that way, and I have struggled to adapt.

I will take a few positives from today

1. She apologised. She never apologises. Her way of apologising is to brush everything under a carpet, but she made an effort today.

2. After weeks of telling her "Don't be frightened to ask for anything if you need it" she asked to borrow some money today, albeit backwardly and nervously. I hope this means she's getting more comfortable with me.

3. She asked for re-assurance to come around on Xmas day. I told her I was looking forward to it, and she was pleased.

4. She told me something else today - she was bullied at school.

5. She asked my advice on a few things. She always does.

6. She talked about herself for 3 of the 3 3/4 hours..........she's back to her normal self :rotfl:

Sadly, she doesn't take alot of what people say in, unless it's perfectly what she WANTS to her.

She is lovely, but very hard work, very self centered (I don't blame her, with her life) and sometimes tactless, although she doesn't mean no harm, she just says things the wrong way.

She even said today she appreciated I care about her......was totally stunned!!! She said she knew I care about her :eek:

She re-iterated how good looking I was But with her, words are just words sometimes. She likes to make friends feel good

She's great, I just feel I am not good enough for her. She is not as mentally strong as me (Yeah, I know I come across as weak, but I am actually quite strong up until the last 3 months!), she is good looking in a cutesie way, but she is very odd. People look at her strangely and make comments You can tell she isn't quite all there, but attraction is attraction.

I'm really making an effort to get back to work, to meet new people and have another bash at this thing called 'life'

Hopefully it will help me sort out my emotions for 'S', being around others. Maybe i'll meet someone else

Glad things are going well for you blinky........what deodorant are you using? :rotfl:

The Lynx Effect is not working for me :rotfl:

Miroslav

geminilady wrote:

Hi Miro,I am sure "S" does like you,i just think you find it hard to believe.She did come and meet you on your own without your flatmate and it did turn out better than you thought,you just want more than she can give at the moment, your own emotions are mixed up because this is such a bad time for you.I don't think you would have even got one hug if she had no fealings for you and as you say she finds it hard to show emotion i think you did really well to get the hugs.Idon't know if you aranged to meet again but she has agreed to come at christmas so you have that to look forward to.

I'm very down on myself. I think if I tried to enjoy life, i'd be letting the people I have lost down, just because i'd be enjoying myself without them. Make sense? I mean, I do try, I just find it hard to let my hair down.

She has no idea how much I like her I don't either :rotfl: But she has no idea that I have these thoughts.

She is going to contact me when she gets paid to go out again. Perhaps to the cinema.

She usually hugs me, and I love it........she knows that. I think she likes them too.

Christmas will be great if she comes Huge Teddy Bear and a necklace/earring set from me, plus a joint pressie with f/m8 - a Xmas stocking full of chocolate F/m8 has 2 presents for her too. I didn't know if bear/necklace/earrings was too much, but f/m8 has known her for a few years and says she'll love it

Miroslav

gillette147 wrote:

Hi all,

I didnt get up til 4:30pm - that's a record for me. And I could have easily stayed there. But I am much more myself today.

Finally made myself do my back exercises - and been for a walk (but got drowned). Still have two more sets of exercises to do today but I must start doing them properly. My back is deteriorating but I just haven't been able to make myself do the work. Overeating again but oh well.

Looks like it's just the rest of us

Good luck with all your searches for love, health and happiness.
Is it me or is it starting to feel Xmassy?

xx

4.30 :eek:

Glad to hear you are exercising! You can overeat, as long as you over exercise

Xmassy? Hmmmmm, well, yeah it does.......... 2 weeks :eek:

Christmas................my a$$!!!

Miroslav

Sazbo wrote:

I'll be thinking of you, let us know how it goes. Will be listening to chelsea/arsenal match at my folks this afternoon, so will be around till 2ish, then later this evening. Take care Sxxx

1-1 :eek:

Didn't watch, as got rid of Sky Sports on Wednesday. As much as I love football, right now, I have other priorities.

I can watch MOTD etc.

Anyway, for the 1st 30 mins, was out with a lovely young lady with a better pair up top than Arsenal or Chelsea



Seriously though, who she is, is what matters. Under all the barriers, there is a lovely girl

geminilady

Miroslav wrote:

She admitted today, she doesn't like seeing anyone more than once every 10 days or so.

I'm not sure how feelings can grow when we see so little of each other.

I've got to get her out of my head somehow, I always feel really bad after seeing her/inbetween meets, possibly as you said previously, because I don't feel she feels the same about me.

It's hard enough fighting my own emotions, when hers aren't strong with me.

I feel miserable, I just long for the day I don't.

I just want to be accepted and cared about, like anyone. I've just got too much history.

Ahhhhhhhhh well.

Just read this again and it could be me talking,its exactly how i feal about "N" We don't choose who we care about we either do or we don't,wish we could choose it would make life a lot easier!If you find out how to get her out of your head let me know lol.I am hoping if i see more of "N" I will realise i don't like him after all but knowing me i will just fall deeper:o I have tried going out with someone else,told "N" I was but it did not work even though the other guy seams to really like me,never had someone like me more than i like them very strange for me but it did not take my mind off "N" and even though he is married i do not feal comfortable seeing two guys.Could explain about "N" but i would come accross really badly,i know how i used to think about woman who saw married men,find one that is single is the first reaction but as i said we don't choose who to care about.I went out with my female friend of 30 yrs last night and she read me the riot act so i can imagine what anyone else would say:o

Miroslav

geminilady wrote:

Just read this again and it could be me talking,its exactly how i feal about "N" We don't choose who we care about we either do or we don't,wish we could choose it would make life a lot easier!If you find out how to get her out of your head let me know lol.I am hoping if i see more of "N" I will realise i don't like him after all but knowing me i will just fall deeper:o I have tried going out with someone else,told "N" I was but it did not work even though the other guy seams to really like me,never had someone like me more than i like them very strange for me but it did not take my mind off "N" and even though he is married i do not feal comfortable seeing two guys.Could explain about "N" but i would come accross really badly,i know how i used to think about woman who saw married men,find one that is single is the first reaction but as i said we don't choose who to care about.I went out with my female friend of 30 yrs last night and she read me the riot act so i can imagine what anyone else would say:o

We can't choose who we care about like you say, with you and 'N'

I've thought of the "I've met a nice young lady" line, but would expect a "Go for it" rather than what I hoped, a "Really?, erm, erm....." with a worried look.

Ahhhhhhhhh, what are we going to do