depression

Miroslav

CCStar wrote:

Be there for her on the 21st, she will need you!

Keep going, little steps....

PMSL at blowing off - I don't want to be downwind of anyone doing that either:D

Well, this is it, does she?

She keeps repeating "I've got to do this on my own" as if someone has drilled it into her that she has to make it on her own or she's not worth anything - likely her father, but simple truth is, on her own she's not very good, but you can't say it to her, she'd go mental. I'm not sure if to stay away, buy her flowers, or what on Dec 21st.

Her Mother's grave is a few miles away, need to get 2 seperate buses

1. She wants to go, but would it be intrusive to offer?

2. The cost of 4 buses, there and back, for 3 of us, will be alot this close to Xmas.

Well, blowing off was a bad example, let's say, slurping my tea

Miroslav

CCStar wrote:

You are probably too good to be true in her eyes. If she is that damaged, she will be suspicious and you do get to expect the worst when you get the worst.

Hang in there - be there for her, it will be painful for you at times, but if you think she is the one, you keep going!

She has told my flatmate that she thinks i'm different, only you never know what to believe with her. I hope that is why she pushes me away, and nothing worse.

I'm not sure she is the one, but I know I am really fond of her, so even if she isn't 'the one', I want to be there for her anyway.

Miroslav

CCStar wrote:

We care about you!

Ta!

But you know what I mean, when I say someone actually 'with you'? Someone in touching distance to give you a big hug?

feelinggood_2

Morning guys
Hope you all got through the night okay, and that today is a little brighter for you all.

Miro - I'll try and PM you in a little while, I'm just struggling to type, you know? Sending you lots of hugs,
CCstar - I'll be about this afternoon hopefully, would be good to chat?
Rose - Thinking of you today, big hugs sis x
Gillette - sorry I missed you yesterday, talk to you soon I hope
Sleepy - hope it goes okay with work, sending you postive vibes - remember that this isn't a vunerability, its an illness.

Tiff, Saz, Blinky, Elona, Mclaren, Beer(have we scared you off?) and everybody else in the family, hope you have a better day today..

Today feels rather bad for me, I'd say a 2.5 - the anxiety is very, very bad, I've got some diazepam, don't know wether to take it or not - I've only got 4 tablets left, and I've got to take 2 to make any difference, and I don't know when I'll be able to get back to the doctors, or even if she will give me some more. Day 11 without cigs or drink today. The drink is the hardest - OH seems to be testing me, leaving glasses of wine or whiskey lying about, talking about how brilliant it is to drink, just generally going on about it. Its so hard being here, it really grates. Its made much worse with the anxiety.
I didn't get outside yesterday, and I doubt I'll get outside today. Didn't cook yesterday either, so feeling a bit like things are slipping away. I will go out tomorrow, and I will do my best to cook today, gotta try and maintain some sort of control over this, even when it feels like its all collapsing around me
Chin up eh! Sorry for the rant, I'll go and try and force myself to vacuum.

Hugs to all xx

EthelBloggs

Mornin FG... I can't stop now but I'll be around this afternoon if you want a chat

Mornin everone else!! Big huggggerrrrrrrrooooooooooooooonies n see yas later, got to dash out to uni now 90 mins journey for a 15 min tutorial.. bloody ridiculous innit, lol

cyas this afternoon xxx

feelinggood_2

Ethel, I knew there was a name I was forgetting! What is it with names and me? Was trying to explain this to someone the other day, I never call people by there names in real life as I can forget names, even 6 months on since I met them. Yet I can remember alot of numbers. Realised yesterday that I know my NI number, and I've only ever used it twice and never tried to learn it. But I can forget the name of someone I really care about? Stupid eh.

I will go and vacuum now, talk to you laters hopefully!
Take care xxxxxxxxxxxx

sleepy

Well, I got about 3 hours sleep in the end. Got up showered and dressed, but then when I got to the front door I burst into tears. So I called work and said I wouldn't be in. Went back to the doctors and he signed me off for a week, but said I shouldn't really expect to go in before christmas.
I just feel so useless.

feelinggood_2

sleepy wrote:

Well, I got about 3 hours sleep in the end. Got up showered and dressed, but then when I got to the front door I burst into tears. So I called work and said I wouldn't be in. Went back to the doctors and he signed me off for a week, but said I shouldn't really expect to go in before christmas.
I just feel so useless.

Sleepy, you are not useless, you are ill. Take it one moment at a time - don't focus on when you are going to go back to work, just focus on what you need to do in this moment.
If you have been signed off, thats the end of it, take care of yourself and look after yourself. If you do too much, it will make you worse. I forced myself to work through my last bout of depression, in the end it took so much out of me that I just handed my notice in - I couldn't take it anymore. Focus on getting better.
Hope you feel a little bit better
Sending hugs x

sleepy

feelinggood wrote:

Sleepy, you are not useless, you are ill. Take it one moment at a time - don't focus on when you are going to go back to work, just focus on what you need to do in this moment.
If you have been signed off, thats the end of it, take care of yourself and look after yourself. If you do too much, it will make you worse. I forced myself to work through my last bout of depression, in the end it took so much out of me that I just handed my notice in - I couldn't take it anymore. Focus on getting better.
Hope you feel a little bit better
Sending hugs x

Thanks, thats what the doctor said, he said I NEEDED the time off and shouldn't hurry back before I'm ready. Work have been quite accepting and told me to just concentrate on getting myself better.

elona

FG

Sorry to be blunt but OH is panicking that you are giving up things that are not good for you - has a shrewd idea he couuld be next and is deliberately
(perhaps unconsciously) sabotaging you - or at least trying to do so.
Sounds as if he can only be strong if you are "weak" in some way = being upset, under the influence et. etc.


CCstar

You took the words out of my mouth with your reply to Ethel. I was about to point out that the "big pain "was not in her neck - or if so it was on two feet!!!! (BF)

Miro
Hope things get a little better for you, flatmate and S. Sounds as if it will take her a long time to trust anyone and will be a long road for you to travel.

Rosie

Wanted to send you a hug.

Mushypeas
Nice to see you and wanted to wish you better times in the future.

Natty

I am so sorry about your Mum. My dad died on 14 August - the day after my birthday.
I still feel I should have done more but do not really know what.
The funeral service is a comfort even if you weep buckets.

Hugs to Tiff and everybody else.