depression

feelinggood_2

beer2006 wrote:

I'm afraid Feelie calls it Tough love, I call it common sense, mine........... not everyone else maybe.

I don't call it tough love, I call it being nasty :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Only kidding, you talk a lot of sense - it is rather a complicated situation.

Tough one Miro - is flatmate still being unhelpful?

Miroslav

blinky wrote:

Good idea... when are you giving her the presents and seeing her over Christmas? You could give her the teddy but not when you give her the other parents and then surprise her later.

Thanks things with 'R' are going very well.:happyhear It's just tricky finding the time to be together and we do miss each other.

No idea yet. She changes her mind hourly

Well, i'm glad it's going well. Always nice to hear good news.

rose07

Tiff wrote:

Hi Rose!
Hang in there angel! When we're physically ill our mood drops a lot lower too so you're bound to be feeling really low hun. Sorry I wasn't online last night - tired Tiff! :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: It's all this thinking - it's just not good for you!:rolleyes: Glad you posted hun & were able to vent a bit. :T Now you behave or the next Tiffy hug will be this...

http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=tbn:qsh_guy8VrdsQM:http://www.cats-fun.com/images/felin/photos/fr/big_9548_7-insolite5.jpg
For what it's worth angel, Tiff advice is that it's early days yet hun. I know it can be frightening sometimes, but you are safe. Generally, when in hospitals like this, patients are not supposed to discuss their problems with other patients in case it upsets someone. You should mention it to the ward supervisor and to your personal nurse too so it can be monitored hun. I have had this experience too hun. But once you start to settle in hun, you'll find a routine that will help. Things may be a little slower because it's the weekend angel, not so many structured activites. Is there anything you could take in with you to do?
Talking to your nurse is important hun. If you approach a nurse & tell them how bad your feeling & why & they tell you to go watch TV, you need to tell the ward manager hun. It's their job to talk to you one on one if you're upset. Just say something like, ''Can I talk to you alone for a couple of minutes please?''
You should have been given a welcome pack with all kinds of info. If you need them, there should be a patient's advocate who can represent you or accompany you about any problems if that would help.
Now you know Tiff, so I'm not getting at you ok hun? But your post is about the same as when you were at home. Home posts were much worse weren't they angel? So to someone looking at this from a distance, you're not any worse by being there. It's been about 4 days since you started there hun and this is of no use whatsoever I know, but it's very early days yet angel. Once you settle a bit hun, you won't feel like the newbie - someone else will come in. It really is ok to feel this way. And of course everyone is making sure you eat - you have to eat hun... very common symptom of depression.;) Not eating is going to make you even poorlier, honestly.
At least you're able to go home & see Holly dog & at least your parents are trying to help - that's already a big change hun. Come on here & shout at Tiff if you want to get the anger out.
Please don't worry about the medication angel. the drs will likely have put you on the minimum dose to start with & they won't prescribe things without thinking very seriously hun, so please take them. take all the help you can get angel. Remember, you've just started hun, this is going to take some time. It was hard taking that hard step wasn't it hun? I think we're all really proud of you Rose!:T I'm thinking of you lots and i want you to hang in there.....or Tiff might make a visit to you!:eek: :rotfl:
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

thanks huni
:rotfl: , you always make me smile with your smilies or the things you say.
i was thinking about you today, one of the nurses told me i am very lucky to have a friend like you. . (yes i talk about you:D ), she said its good to have friends looking out for you when you cant do anything, so tiff huni, i love ya, and i always will, im sooo glad to have met you on this thread feel like i have made a friend for life. (and yeah im not going anywhere hun, rosie is gonna be on your back) xxx

it just sooo hard at the moment huni :eek:

i need my tiff. can i have a hug huni, you know one of those big ones?

weird hun, i think things work different over here, there was no welcome pack.? hhhmmmm

yeah my dad not being sooo forceful, and i am starting to eat for myself now, which is great, and oh its funi hun, if other patients dont see me eating they say now come on you have to eat to get your strength, one crazee women, she kept asking if i was ok. bless her heart.

i know what tierd is like hun, i have a morning, and afternoon nap, LOL, which is sooo funi as i never used to nap but now when im in hospital thats all i do. oh and go to the toilet and eat. :rotfl:

Huni can you tell me what your time in hospital was like as rosies struggling at the moment.? were you one of these crazed lunatics that shouts and screams? there are more women then men on the ward, there are all kinds of ages but im the youngest it sooo weird.

and i am the outsider at the moment, esp going home at night i would much prefer to be either there or here. but then i would see you guys and the baby.

i do feel unafe hun, there is this guy freaking me out, never mind the mad, mda , mad people this guy scares me. he keeps asking me questions, where you live, what you do, what your name etc.....why you here? DUR!!!!!, and also hun he been in prison, now there is someone else that has been in prison he a drug dealer, but this other guy who is alot older than me was in for something awful hun. awful!!!!, i heard him and his personal nurse talking they thought i was asleep. now they didnt say what it was but the way they talked about it, wasnt good. his family dont know, and he walks around the ward, and he is homeless etc.... and he keeps saying his life has ended. and he looks so misraeble hun, i just wanna go up to him and slap him, and say smile god darn it. now i know your all gonna think im being cruel but when your in an environment where people are misraeble how ya meant to be happy?

yeah today was a bit slow, there was nothing planned ya see. but in the morning i had a BDI, think that it, tiffy you know what that is? basically records how depressed you are, and wait for it i am at the high end of the severe catergory, haha, oh joy!!

then i went for a nap, then food, then nap, then tele, then a nurse seen how fed i was and asked me if i wanted to go for a walk i said yeah, up i jumped, lol, we went for a walk, was nice, i have to be escorted tho, and you have to ask permission to get in and out of the hospital as it all secure.
then when we got back she did colouring with me, that was good.

then nap, then food, and i had chocolate cake. :rotfl:

i bring my ipod with me at the moment, i chill out with me tunes. we gonna do cooking on tuesday, yey, oh joy!!!!:rotfl:
and monday oh that tomorrow,( sorry saz) we do relaxation in the morning, but it sooo boring, why dont we all play twister or something, god and have a bit of fun!!!!,

talking helps me hun (sometimes), as you all know, but when you got nothing to do all day and no friends around, you have no one to talk to. its weird.
plus i dunno who to talk to outta the nurses, i cant say im hurting as they know that. the pain inside is sooo much but because i cant release it they dont know, i see patients scream, crying, shouting, thats what i wanna do, but cant, its sooo hard. i just curl up in a ball on me chair and listen to music and try and block it all out huni, as i dunno what else to do.

i know it early days there just soo much to get used too.
and im sooo scared of that guy i mentioned. he has done something bad, i feel like im in a prison, not a mental hospital, most seem to be either have been in prison of are pregnant, or had kids. and some are just mad. then you get the ones that say, oh i been through soo much, and shout it up and down the corridor, which is great glad they wanna shout about but we all been through alot, you know what i mean hun, in fact everyone here will, we all been through alot, we know it, but we dont scream and shout about it. :mad:

RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
was that a good enough shout hun, i dont wanna shout at you, my anger is soo immense right now, i nearly did punch someone today hun, oh my it was close, lol :rotfl:

yeah im on a small dosage of meds, :mad:
they are not doing nothing!!!! do they take a while to work?
there is soo much i dont know, tiff rosie needs to know about your time?

time i dont have tiff!!!!! i dont have time to be ill. :rotfl:

very hard hun, you know how hard it was for me, but you also know the real rosie hun inside and out, so thanks xxx

i am thinking alot about you too at the moment, and i hope you doing cookie? :rotfl:, oo a visit from tiff :j :j :j :j (you shouldnt have said that :rotfl: )(maybe i will come visit you tiff, you gotta be kept in line too )

hope you ok hun
keeping fighting huni
your a great person
much love
xxx
:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

and to everyone else, miro, ccstar, elona, ethel, feelinggood, saz, blinky, everyone xxx

feelinggood :T :T :T well done you keep it up hun, you will get there i know you will.

saz, how are you huni???
how was seeing your parents?
and hows your work going?
xxx

everyone else keep going, thinking of you all xxx :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

blinky

beer2006 wrote:

Why don't you just keep it simple, flowers.

I don't know the whole situation, but I've read alot of your posts about her, you need to calm it down a bit by the sound of it. You can love someone as much as you like, but if they don't feel the same way, there is nothing you can do.
If someone was persuing me the way you seem to be her, I would be pressurised and seriously put off. I wouldn't get someone else to tell her how I feel, go direct, ask her out for a drink. Take it slow. Don't keep contacting her all the time............ and I would say, definately don't buy her teddies yet. You need to show you are a man, someone who given the chance would look after her.
You need to show her you care, but you're not a maniac chasing after her.

I might be saying different from everyone else, I can't help that, its what I think
I'm afraid Feelie calls it Tough love, I call it common sense, mine........... not everyone else maybe.

Miro you sound a great guy, there may well be lots of women out there for you, you need to believe in yourself more.

Yep take it slow. I think most women like a bit of chasing but overdo it and you spoil things. Same with gifts - buy her things but not all the time, otherwise it loses the effect.
It's all a balancing act - don't want to come across as too needy but don't want to come across as insensitive either.

Horasio

feelinggood wrote:

I don't know what you can do CCstar, it does take a lot out of you.
Could you just avoid them instead?

I stay in my room most of the time to avoid seeing them.

It's doing my nut

Miroslav

beer2006 wrote:

Why don't you just keep it simple, flowers.

I don't know the whole situation, but I've read alot of your posts about her, you need to calm it down a bit by the sound of it. You can love someone as much as you like, but if they don't feel the same way, there is nothing you can do.
If someone was persuing me the way you seem to be her, I would be pressurised and seriously put off. I wouldn't get someone else to tell her how I feel, go direct, ask her out for a drink. Take it slow. Don't keep contacting her all the time............ and I would say, definately don't buy her teddies yet. You need to show you are a man, someone who given the chance would look after her.
You need to show her you care, but you're not a maniac chasing after her.

I might be saying different from everyone else, I can't help that, its what I think
I'm afraid Feelie calls it Tough love, I call it common sense, mine........... not everyone else maybe.

Miro you sound a great guy, there may well be lots of women out there for you, you need to believe in yourself more.

Flowers? Well, already done that, and she liked them, but it's not really an Xmas present.

Like you correctly say, you haven't read all the posts and all the things she has said to me, and what her illness is all about. I rarely contact her at all, I wouldn't say 3 texts in 2 weeks is a maniac, but then we all have different ideas about things like that. I did write her a song, that she says she loves and means alot to her. She also has no idea how much I like her, but flatmate says she likes everything I do, and she says she does too. It was her who was after me originally, I turned her 'sexual advances' down. It's just she is totally different to any other girl I have ever met, she is very damaged, and no-one can say i've not been anything other than patient & gentlemanly to her. She's always liked everything I have ever done, it's just me being wary.

It's just a case of 'S' being possibly the most backward and distant person I have ever met. Any other girl would think I was backing off. I know she doesn't think i'm too much, she loves my attention, she's even told me amazing things about myself that some partners don't tell each other, she's just so damaged. People just don't persevere with her and she pushes them away because she's scared, and ends up alone. She tests people, they fail her tests. I've just passed a massive one, and she's confused as hell as to how someone got past stage 1 and is running, for now.

This just proves, that everyone is different, and every situation is different. She likes my attention, she just can't work out why unlike all the others, i'm not a physical alcoholic smackhead that uses her for money and sex, but as my flatmate says, she's struggling to work out why anyone would like her for her, but i'm gonna keep fighting on, no matter how hard it is.

She's the 1st person ever, i've not known what to say too, just because she is so fragile. One wrong comment, and i'll not see her for weeks
Anyone else I say what I want too, but 'S'.......

I'm gonna take FG's words.........Do what I like, so I will..........Teddy Bear it is.........I know she'll love it, just with 'S' I ask for advice, as this is new to me. Never have I not known what to say to someone

She'll love the Teddy Bear, she's loved everything else i've said and done, i've got so far in such a short time, even my flatmate thinks it's amazing how far I have got, I guess i'm just very concerned for her, as she's getting more and more ill.

I mean, if she loved my song, she'll love anything

Sod it, i'm just going to be me, she can only reject me. She knows deep down i'm the good guy, she knows deep down i'm there for her.........one day all this will hopefully pay off.

I mean, it's not like I don't have enough ladies falling at my feet at the moment......... I just am not interested in any of them

Miroslav

blinky wrote:

Yep take it slow. I think most women like a bit of chasing but overdo it and you spoil things. Same with gifts - buy her things but not all the time, otherwise it loses the effect.
It's all a balancing act - don't want to come across as too needy but don't want to come across as insensitive either.

Like I said to Beer, this is no ordinary woman

She likes my attention, and for that to happen after her history, even my flatmate says i've got further than she thought anyone ever would again, and that she's running as she's scared

Balancing is hard, I don't act needy around her, as I tend to look out for her, but a text once every 4 days is hardly going OTT

I assure anyone, you'll have never met a girl like this. So lovely and sweet, yet so damaged. I honestly don't know if she'll ever be anything different, but i'm in too deep to walk away now, I mean, she's let it slip how special I am to her, and I think she regrets letting me know. So I know she likes me and cares for me, and I know she fancies me........sadly I also know she's messed up

Miroslav

Right, now my essay is over (been taking essay lessons from Rose ) I shall call it a night.

One thing I have learnt tonight (and we all learn something new everyday!) is that despite what anyone types, it can be taken in many ways!

I have certainly not pursued 'S' like a maniac, sometimes, it's over a week between contact, I just talk about her alot on here, as I care, so apologies to anyone offended by 'S' being a conversation of mine. I realise I talk about her alot, I guess she means so much to me and I know she's in a bad way, and it upsets me when I cannot do anything for her. Talking about her sometimes helps, when others can help me look at things more positively.

Therefore, there isn't much point in asking advice or ideas re: 'S', as however much I detail the situation, understandably, no-one knows the true situation, and conflicting advice/comments can cause more confusion, over my intentions and/or situation, making me out to be something I am not.

So I shall don my cap, and move along my merry way, and deal with whatever is thrown at me, on my own

If anything happens with 'S', I shall PM those who shall need a new hat for the wedding

:wave:

Good Luck to you all. Hope you all find happiness and/or whatever it is you are looking for

blinky

Miroslav wrote:

Like I said to Beer, this is no ordinary woman

She likes my attention, and for that to happen after her history, even my flatmate says i've got further than she thought anyone ever would again, and that she's running as she's scared

Balancing is hard, I don't act needy around her, as I tend to look out for her, but a text once every 4 days is hardly going OTT

I assure anyone, you'll have never met a girl like this. So lovely and sweet, yet so damaged. I honestly don't know if she'll ever be anything different, but i'm in too deep to walk away now, I mean, she's let it slip how special I am to her, and I think she regrets letting me know. So I know she likes me and cares for me, and I know she fancies me........sadly I also know she's messed up

No such thing as an ordinary women, mate there all different. She's probably not used to being able to drop her guard and show her feelings / be vunerable which you might be getting the sense she's regretting telling you.

1 text in 4 days is definitely not OTT. Only 7 today from 'R' but we are trying to arrange when to meet up next week. Looks like Wednesday :j


"Everyone's f*cked up - it's the fortunate ones who acknowledge it" - paraphased from the Intro to Unwell on the Matchbox 20 "Show" DVD.

feelinggood_2

Miro, I've PM'ed you, please reply