depression

Sazbo

Hi everyone. Hope you're all doing ok today. Big hugs to you all, as always. Much love Saz xxx

Horasio

elona wrote:

feelinggood

It is not fair enough!

He is checking up on everything that you do or think!
I would bet that he specialises in somehow making you "down" and feeling that everything is your fault.

To "husband" means to care for and encourage to grow. Yours seems to be stifling you and poisoning the ground so to speak, so that you will be dependant on him.

You have to be weak so that he can be strong! I hope that you can get some help and encouragement fron somewhere because you will not get it from him.

If you read black saturn's website it is quite clear on what is emotional abuse and I am getting a bad feeling about his behaviour.

Big hug and sorry if I have been too blunt.

This so describes me too.

I also blamed myself as my hormone swings made me very moody and aggressive in our early days. Combining that with being bullied as a child at school, living with a controlling mother and passive father, and thinking I had a caring husband it made me vulnerable.

I felt confident and 17 years of anger came out. He handled it badly, OK he wasn't experienced and didn't know how to handle it but when he started spoiling happy feelings, that is when I felt really wretched. When I did make the effort to right any wrongs. I can understand him being upset when I wasn't behaving at my best but when I was being nice, he decided to pay me back by being withdrawn at times we should have been united. I felt I was being punished for my bad moods which were caused by hormonal imbalance and feeling unloved by EVERYONE.

We have been together a long time and I have told him so much about it. There were programmes on TV about PMDD and hormone imbalance and how it affected women. He seemed to understand and realise I wasn't the only woman who suffered from it. When it comes to the crunch when I feel stressed or happy he lets me down.

Since having my ovaries removed, my moods have been more stable but it exposes his faults. He is still not dealing with them and making the effort in our marriage. I have felt very let down by him over the last 18 months. I feel everything is OK if I am not too happy or too low.

Miroslav

Sazbo wrote:

Morning Miro hun. Sazzy's also feeling very tired this morning, wishing I'm in dreamland too. My brain's not functioning. Find I'm just craving sleep all the time How's you hun? Sx

Afternoon :wave:

Get to bed early tonight, I know I need too!

I'm okay. Down about 'S', happy with my musical achievement......hmmmmmm, 'S' can't get out of my head

And now the new single by Girls Aloud is on :rolleyes: They seem to have murdered Tiffany's "I think we're alone now"

Ahhhhhhhhhh, I think my love life is finished...........nothing to do with Girls Aloud............unless Sarah wants to change that

Horasio

Miroslav wrote:

Checking mobile & internet history is :eek:

Don't put up with that!

That is way out of line - he is treating you like a kid:mad:

EthelBloggs

Hiya saz... know how you feel bout the tiredness.. I'm the same

got to go to the police station in a min to collect my stolen property :D:D:D

cyas all later xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Horasio

Miroslav wrote:

Well, not overly pleased about it........bad timing the way I am feeling.

Last night went well, but now i'm thinking more about 'S'.

I'm foolish to think she'd like me like 'that', and maybe foolish that I started believing she liked me at all.

I dunno, maybe i'm selfish expecting her to reply to me at least once in a week

I understand it is stressful having tradesmen in the home when you feel OK. When you want to be alone after feeling hurt by people, they are an intrusion.

Horasio

feelinggood wrote:

Morning Guys, I'm not the latest awake today!
Off for a walk this morning with a friend, should be nice to get some fresh air. Hopefully it'll help me clear my head, who knows.
Feeling resonably good this morning, still confused, still fancying a drink (9am is too early isn't it?) but I'm taking it one minute at a time.
I've got something to look forward to now, which is nice. Will focus on that.
And, I'm still on track to give up smoking on Saturday. This time next week I'll be a non smoker
Hope you all are doing well, its a beautiful morning here, got to remember to appreciate the small things like that Usually, that fact that the world is beautiful makes me more unhappy - how can I be miserable when the world is so pretty, and I end up feeling guilty. But, today, I'm just going to allow myself to enjoy it
I'm thinking of you all, take care x

It is a lovely day where I am too. It shows the contrast between how it should be and how it is which can make you sad. Enjoy it while you can.

Miroslav

CCStar wrote:

I understand it is stressful having tradesmen in the home when you feel OK. When you want to be alone after feeling hurt by people, they are an intrusion.

It's great the work is being done, but as you say, it's an intrusion.

Sazbo

Miroslav wrote:

Afternoon :wave:

Get to bed early tonight, I know I need too!

:wave: Thanks hun, I'll try. Got acupuncture at 8, so hopefully in bed by ten... I always say that but for some reason it doesn't happen. And I used to be so diligent about going to bed on time. Everything's unravelling at the moment! :rolleyes:

Miroslav wrote:

I'm okay. Down about 'S', happy with my musical achievement......hmmmmmm, 'S' can't get out of my head

And now the new single by Girls Aloud is on :rolleyes: They seem to have murdered Tiffany's "I think we're alone now"

Ahhhhhhhhhh, I think my love life is finished...........nothing to do with Girls Aloud............unless Sarah wants to change that

I think you should be extremely proud of your musical achievements. I know I couldn't have done it. I am however rather disturbed about your Sarah comment :eek: She's a floozie Stick with Britney hun x

geminilady

Miroslav wrote:

Okay, it's been over a week since 'S' last gave any indication she was still on this planet, at least physically anyway, cos she sure as hell is never here mentally.

I keep turning my phone on and off incase a text is blocked, or I use another phone to text myself to see if texts are coming through

:rolleyes: :eek:

Hi Miro,Just a thought about "S" remember last week you sent her a text asking her not to patronise you? i know she text back saying she wasn't but do you think she could be scared of texting incase you take it the wrong way? I might be completly wrong but you never know.Also why not just text her asking if she is ok and that you are worried about her it may put your mind at rest.