depression

feelinggood_2

Sazbo wrote:

Big hugs, FG hun xxx IMHO he is controlling, but you've really come so far, faced up to what's terrifying and scary and still pushed on. Good for you hunnie we're all rooting for you xxx

But everyone things he is the perfect husband, so wonderful and brilliant.
I'm the bad one- everything is my fault.
I'[m starting to wonder if I should tell my mum. I think, that I'll get myself sorted, and after I've left, I'll call her and explain. You never know, she might come thru for me. I hope so, but I don't want to be dissapointed when she wants nothing more to do with me

Sazbo

feelinggood wrote:

But everyone things he is the perfect husband, so wonderful and brilliant.
I'm the bad one- everything is my fault.
I'[m starting to wonder if I should tell my mum. I think, that I'll get myself sorted, and after I've left, I'll call her and explain. You never know, she might come thru for me. I hope so, but I don't want to be dissapointed when she wants nothing more to do with me

Sweetheart - it's not 'everyone' that's married to him, is it? - it's you. It's a naff thing to say I know, but blood's thicker than water, I'd like to think your mum will come through for you; you're her daughter after all? Everything is not you fault - ok? You must believe that hun. You need support and you're not getting it.

Miroslav

Sazbo wrote:

Hiya hun :wave: Not surprised at all you got good comments! Re S - maybe no text better than bad text?

:wave:

Really glad I did the course. Not sure my song is for public hearing, but maybe one day

No text is better than a bad text for sure.

All I need to do now, is get a copy to 'S'.......a last ditch attempt to stop her going.......although it won't work, but hey!

Very tired, bed for me, up early for workmen, so will pop on tomorrow

Night Saz and all :wave:

Sazbo

Miroslav wrote:

:wave:

Really glad I did the course. Not sure my song is for public hearing, but maybe one day

No text is better than a bad text for sure.

All I need to do now, is get a copy to 'S'.......a last ditch attempt to stop her going.......although it won't work, but hey!

Very tired, bed for me, up early for workmen, so will pop on tomorrow

Night Saz and all :wave:

Me off too, good night Mr Miro xxx

Sazbo

Blinky hun - you doing ok? Just unusual for you not to post... big hugs and take care hunnie Sxxx

EthelBloggs

Sazbo wrote:

Hiya hun, glad you're ok. LOL your b/f on the tube next to Pete - I never recognise anyone when I out! And him travelling on the Northern Line - how the mighty have fallen! :rotfl:

Yeah, I'm a bit late. On the way home tonight I had to stop off at a restaurant to pay the deposit for our office christmas lunch. I got lumbered with organising it this year :rolleyes: Well, it cheered me up no end - the manager was this really dishy French bloke called "Laurent" - and after I paid the £180 deposit :eek: he poured me a glass of wine on the house! (I should think so too! ) He was rather nice, "'Ow you say in English?" etc, etc, So that made me feel nice, for once!

We see loads of celebs round here.. my mums road has loads of them, lol

gawd Im such a sucker for a french accent............ raaaaaaaawrrr!!!!!!!

hehehe

EthelBloggs

fg... sounds like my marriage was a lot like yours, from the outside everyone thought he was perfect but in fact he was a controlling bully but he did it so subtly no one realised but me and it took me years to realise it too :eek: although things got really really bad before i had the guts to get out of it.

EthelBloggs

Well done miro... glad it went well for you

have a lovely sleep and see you tomorrow

Horasio

feelinggood wrote:

I'm alright tonight. I'm sober too - yay me!!
My head is a little confused, I need to simplify my life - hopefully I'm on the way to doing that.
Its scary, terrifying in fact - and very confusing. I still don't think he counts as emotionally abusive, I'm just not the right woman for him, he can't understand me. Sometimes I think he is controlling, but is that just me being ill thinking that?
How are you? x

You are heading in the right direction - emotional misery is so much harder to pin point.

If your husband hit you, it would be simpler, not that I wish that on anyone. Most abuse campaigns are about physical abuse, not emotional upsets.

One minute, they are caring and nice, then they withdraw, and don't understand when you try and sort it out or tell them what you feel like. You ends up feeling it is your fault for complaining. I don't know if they are manipulative or dumb but it does my nut:mad:

I have exactly the same feelings as you but thought my hormones were the cause. I had no friends either, still don't, as I am too unhappy to have a relationship or job. The state of mind I need to be in clashes with being with my husband. I feel I have to choose between a life or a marriage. Of course, he doesn't say it, he blows hot and cold with me, and implies it is me with the problem. He does nothing about his behaviour.

My hormones have been sorted and I see things more clearly. Nothing is keeping me here except getting packed and getting shot of the house and starting over with my share of the money.

I am worried about things and they are what have stopped me in the past.

1. Money. I have not had to worry about money for several years. It was hard to start with but we got better off. He will pay me some money but worry it won't be enough.

2. Being vulnerable to being manipulated by my mother. She will want me to live near her and become her slave. I feel her support will be conditional.

3. Regretting it and becoming lonely. I see lonely people on here and think OMG I might end up that way! I enjoy being alone at home and when I am alone, I feel different but do feel I want someone I can relax with in the evening but I don't get that with my husband. He is hard work and disappoints me.

4. Feeling vulnerable because I don't have a man to protect me, I feel men hassle lone women more. Also, if I manage to get work, I might be bullied, as I need the money and job. I haven't worked FT for several years. I was bullied at school and my last FT job. I felt I couldn't tell anyone in those days. I feel I have a label that says 'bully me'. Even our current neighbours 'bully' us. The ones behind talk to us like pigs and have loud parties, the others let their kids scream loudly. Their reactions implied we were overfussy and intolerant.

Sorry this has turned into an essay and I would really like some feedback on how to cope with leaving someone after so long and my bullying fears, if anyone can. I feel in a hole and need to get out badly! I know exactly how you feel FG! (((Big hugs)))

blinky

Sazbo wrote:

Blinky hun - you doing ok? Just unusual for you not to post... big hugs and take care hunnie Sxxx

Sorry hun, didn't want to make you worry. Normally I say to people "Don't worry about me" but what I really mean is "Don't worry about me because I'm not worth it". However, here I really genuinally mean I intend to make you worry. Sorry

Yeah I'm okay - was just about to post. It's been a busy day and evening for me and there's been a lot of posts here to read and catch up on.
Will try and reply to some of them but I can't reply to all, sorry


I said 'R' can blow a bit hot and cold but she caught me a bit off guard when when she sent me a text which was a unusually hot / fwd - wasn't dirty so mind out the gutter please :eek: . It was very nice but I wasn't sure how to respond. I know that mondays one of her busy nights at the moment but I didn't hear from her until quite late. So I was starting to get worried. I think because what she said was a little out of character and I'm used to unbalanced people (which she's not - other than the fact she's seeing me). I'm just a little unsure / confused about what she wrote.

Finally told my parents about 'R'.... Haven't told her the details yet, so you'll have to wait...

Seeing her tomorrow night :kisses2: :happyhear So I'll try and speak to about it with her.

Here's some hugs for you all .