depression

EthelBloggs

I'd be happy to read them Miro.. I know you probably think you don't know/trust me well enough and I can understand that.. I don't post very much here but I do read quite a lot so I feel as though I know you all really well!

Another lousy day in the Bloggs household.. b/f got up at almost 4pm and called me ignorant because I crept out of bed this morning not to disturb him!! Grrr I can't win!! So he's been ranting about the state of the house and namecalling since then til now..I pointed out that he has a lot more free time than me and therefore could help a bit so he's just taken his dinner (that I cooked) and !!!!!!ed off back upstairs with the parting shot that he wishes he'd never met me.

We've had periods of time like this before but he's always the one to back down and beg me to let him stay... I don't want him to stay anymore but he won't leave.. which is very frustrating too.

I've explained things about my issues to him and he listens and huggs and comforts me at the time but it seems he forgets about ten minutes later and starts with the criticising again. It seems he can't see how exhausted, stressed and depressed I am but only the things that impact on him in some way that he doesn't like. Arrgghhh!!!!!!

Sazbo

Good evening everyone. Well, always a struggle for Saz to get herself organised, but forced myself to have that walk - saw a beautiful sunset while I was out. My soup is bubbling away in the kitchen. Smells good Got my stuff ready for work tomorrow... just can't face going in, but hey such is life, I guess

So now I'm sitting down with a cup of peppermint tea, gotta banging headache now which won't shift.

Ethel - I can only sympathise. I've been there re unsupportive b/fs In the end I decided I would rather be lonely and cope with depression by myself than have to put up with someone else's inability and/or unwillingness to be supportive. Not that I was expecting special treatment, far from it, just wanted to feel someone was there for me, but that was too much to expect. Anyway hun, there are always many different factors at work in any relationship of course and I guess I'm trying to say you have to evaluate what's important for you - if whether on balance you feel you get more positives than negatives from the relationship, or whether you don't. But either way try focus on your own needs. And post here anytime hun xx

Miro hun - it's still v early days with S, still time for you to sort out your feelings about her. This is not me giving 'advice' to you about types of therapy, but I would strongly suggest you think carefully before giving up on psychodynamic counselling. Just my opinion only here, but I would say it is dealing with the past that's precisely what allows us to move on - that is not the same thing as saying we can change the past because of course we can't. Just my thoughts.

I'd love to read your lyrics - chuffed that you want to share them

Sx

Miroslav

EthelBloggs wrote:

I'd be happy to read them Miro.. I know you probably think you don't know/trust me well enough and I can understand that.. I don't post very much here but I do read quite a lot so I feel as though I know you all really well!

Another lousy day in the Bloggs household.. b/f got up at almost 4pm and called me ignorant because I crept out of bed this morning not to disturb him!! Grrr I can't win!! So he's been ranting about the state of the house and namecalling since then til now..I pointed out that he has a lot more free time than me and therefore could help a bit so he's just taken his dinner (that I cooked) and !!!!!!ed off back upstairs with the parting shot that he wishes he'd never met me.

We've had periods of time like this before but he's always the one to back down and beg me to let him stay... I don't want him to stay anymore but he won't leave.. which is very frustrating too.

I've explained things about my issues to him and he listens and huggs and comforts me at the time but it seems he forgets about ten minutes later and starts with the criticising again. It seems he can't see how exhausted, stressed and depressed I am but only the things that impact on him in some way that he doesn't like. Arrgghhh!!!!!!

You've been a great addition to this thread, so i'll send them when they are complete Any comments, good or bad gratefully received. Sometime tomorrow at the latest, as want to e-mail them off by then, as next 'recording' is a week tomorrow!!

4pm!!!! I've never got up that late! The name calling will be because he knows he is in the wrong.

Some people can act all caring, but a few minutes later, they are back to their normalselves. It's like they don't have time for someone else along with their own ego.

What would happen if he left? Would he have a place to go? Is there an age gap in your relationship?

EthelBloggs

Sazbo wrote:

.

Ethel - I can only sympathise. I've been there re unsupportive b/fs In the end I decided I would rather be lonely and cope with depression by myself than have to put up with someone else's inability and/or unwillingness to be supportive. Not that I was expecting special treatment, far from it, just wanted to feel someone was there for me, but that was too much to expect. Anyway hun, there are always many different factors at work in any relationship of course and I guess I'm trying to say you have to evaluate what's important for you - if whether on balance you feel you get more positives than negatives from the relationship, or whether you don't. But either way try focus on your own needs. And post here anytime hun xx

Sorry to hear you've a headache Sazbo.. apparently if you squeeze hard on the meaty part where your hand and thumb is that helps somehow

You've hit the nail on the head with b/f.. I don't want anything special from him... just for him to be a bit more 'there' for me. I think the reason he has problems with understanding that is because I had buried my issues for such a long time and they've come to the surface again these last few months, flashbacks, bad dreams (which he always seems to soothe me out of) phobic behaviour and issues around food. He thinks the bad thing happened so many years ago that I should be able to leave it buried as I have til now but for some reason I can't. It's reared its ugly head and it won't go away

I handle things with baby steps.. one small thing at a time and if I'm having a good day then I get thru a lot of things that way.. on a bad day I achieve zilch, lol. When I explain to him then he seems to understand but an hour later he's forgotten

He gets annoyed when I cringe away from him or flinch when he makes hand gestures and that just makes things worse. I think we've gone as far as we can go with our relationship but he just won't accept that.

Other times he can be absolutely wonderful.. drives me mad cos I never know where I stand.

Oh well.. enuff of this me me me malarky.. sorry for taking up everyone's time with my nonsense

Miroslav

Sazbo wrote:

Good evening everyone. Well, always a struggle for Saz to get herself organised, but forced myself to have that walk - saw a beautiful sunset while I was out. My soup is bubbling away in the kitchen. Smells good Got my stuff ready for work tomorrow... just can't face going in, but hey such is life, I guess

So now I'm sitting down with a cup of peppermint tea, gotta banging headache now which won't shift.


Miro hun - it's still v early days with S, still time for you to sort out your feelings about her. This is not me giving 'advice' to you about types of therapy, but I would strongly suggest you think carefully before giving up on psychodynamic counselling. Just my opinion only here, but I would say it is dealing with the past that's precisely what allows us to move on - that is not the same thing as saying we can change the past because of course we can't. Just my thoughts.

I'd love to read your lyrics - chuffed that you want to share them

Sx

You come across as someone who does more than just get by, you seem to be very organised

I know it's very early, i'm just very unsure of myself, as in 15 years, i've only got to know 2 people other than 'S' like i'm getting to know her............flatmate and my ex. I really have no idea if what I am doing is right, if my feelings are normal or not

Is it possible to get CBT and Psycho Dynamic at the same time? I mean a bit of both from the same session?

Like I said to 'Ethel'

I'll send them when they are complete Any comments, good or bad gratefully received. Sometime tomorrow at the latest, as want to e-mail them off by then, as next 'recording' is a week tomorrow!!

WARNING!!! Very basic, very cheesy, very bad!!!!!

Miroslav

EthelBloggs wrote:

Oh well.. enuff of this me me me malarky.. sorry for taking up everyone's time with my nonsense

Don't say that

If anything, it's me talking about 'S' all the time that will get all the other posters PM'ing each other going

"Miro's a boring twit"

I just can't stop talking about her

It'll all go wrong soon, and then I will shut up

EthelBloggs

Miroslav wrote:

You've been a great addition to this thread, so i'll send them when they are complete Any comments, good or bad gratefully received. Sometime tomorrow at the latest, as want to e-mail them off by then, as next 'recording' is a week tomorrow!!

4pm!!!! I've never got up that late! The name calling will be because he knows he is in the wrong.

Some people can act all caring, but a few minutes later, they are back to their normalselves. It's like they don't have time for someone else along with their own ego.

What would happen if he left? Would he have a place to go? Is there an age gap in your relationship?

Thank you for your kind words ))

Yeah, he can go and move back in with his parents and also his friend split up with his partner a few months ago and has a spare room and could use the help with the mortgate so he does have options, I'm not so heartless to throw him on the street, lol

There is a gap.. he's 10 years younger than me.. good in some ways but recently it's really noticeable.. his lack of life experience and life skills seems to be becoming quite a problem.

I shall look forward to the lyrics I think English being a second language for you might actually add something to them.. if that makes sense?

EthelBloggs

Miroslav wrote:

It'll all go wrong soon, and then I will shut up

Noooo.. don't ever do that!!!!! You're a very important contributor here and you would be horribly missed by lots of ppl (me included)

Miroslav

EthelBloggs wrote:

Thank you for your kind words ))

Yeah, he can go and move back in with his parents and also his friend split up with his partner a few months ago and has a spare room and could use the help with the mortgate so he does have options, I'm not so heartless to throw him on the street, lol

There is a gap.. he's 10 years younger than me.. good in some ways but recently it's really noticeable.. his lack of life experience and life skills seems to be becoming quite a problem.

I shall look forward to the lyrics I think English being a second language for you might actually add something to them.. if that makes sense?

Well, if he begs to stay, he must see a future. Does he ever talk about 'the future'?

I was getting the feeling he was younger. Not that it makes a difference sometimes, but it can do. I'm 30, so an average 20 year old would be too difficult for me.

Well, it may add, but it's more basic than adding something, i'm not Shakira or anything :rotfl:

Miroslav

EthelBloggs wrote:

Noooo.. don't ever do that!!!!! You're a very important contributor here and you would be horribly missed by lots of ppl (me included)

Well, hopefully it won't go wrong. I forsee lots of ups and downs, so lots of posts from me :rolleyes:

Just hope ppl can bear with me