depression

Sazbo

rose07 wrote:

hi everyone feelinggood, saz, tiff, miro, ccstar, flis... everyone

soz but i have no words today mum doing head in, its monday tomorrow and i really dont want to go to work. , and thats the least of my worries, still got that great big rock on me shoulders saz xxx

i feel awful
dunno if i should post or not
just wanna curl up

love you all xxx

Hey rose hun. When we feel overwhelmed by things it's natural to see them all as one big imposing thing. But I hope Tiff would agree that the way to deal with the rock is to break it down, little bit by little bit. Y'know? No it won't happen overnight, but one step at a time. We're here for you hun sxx

Sazbo

Miroslav wrote:

:wave:

Ahhhhhhhh, no sympathy for too much vino, but all my sympathy for everything else

Emotional marathon, which has only just begun!!!

Quite right too no sympathy - entirely self-inflicted! You got anything nice planned for today Miro? x

Miroslav

Sazbo wrote:

Quite right too no sympathy - entirely self-inflicted! You got anything nice planned for today Miro? x

Well, watching some football today, It was my 1st love, but seen very little lately due to feeling so low, so catching a bit whilst i'm reflecting on yesterday. Not alot else...............going to have a look at my song later or during the footie now, need to change lyrics after last night!

I miss 'S', she's added something to me, I don't know what I don't think it's love, but a very very strong admiration/adoration etc etc..........I don't know, I know I think a huge amount of her, despite all the struggles we've had/will have..........they aren't her fault

You up to much?

Sazbo

Miroslav wrote:

Well, watching some football today, It was my 1st love, but seen very little lately due to feeling so low, so catching a bit whilst i'm reflecting on yesterday. Not alot else...............going to have a look at my song later or during the footie now, need to change lyrics after last night!

I miss 'S', she's added something to me, I don't know what I don't think it's love, but a very very strong admiration/adoration etc etc..........I don't know, I know I think a huge amount of her, despite all the struggles we've had/will have..........they aren't her fault

You up to much?

Is that watching footie on the box, or are you going to a match? Years ago I dated a guy who was a fanatical Chelsea supporter. Funny to think of it now - I was a football widow in my early twenties Even funnier to think that long after we split up, I still went to see the occasional Chelsea match. LOL couldn't afford their astronomical ticket prices now of course!

Not much planned. Going to make a big batch of soup later, so I have something decent to take work for lunch next week, rather than buy sandwiches. Then I'll be lapsing into my usual Sunday night gloomy mood :rolleyes:

Well, you've got some good material to draw on for your lyrics now - after last night

x

Miroslav

Sazbo wrote:

Is that watching footie on the box, or are you going to a match? Years ago I dated a guy who was a fanatical Chelsea supporter. Funny to think of it now - I was a football widow in my early twenties Even funnier to think that long after we split up, I still went to see the occasional Chelsea match. LOL couldn't afford their astronomical ticket prices now of course!

Not much planned. Going to make a big batch of soup later, so I have something decent to take work for lunch next week, rather than buy sandwiches. Then I'll be lapsing into my usual Sunday night gloomy mood :rolleyes:

Well, you've got some good material to draw on for your lyrics now - after last night

x

On the TV

Chelsea? Hmmmmm

Soup Gloomy mood? Because tomorrow it's back to work?

Well, I have some new things to think about.............although i'm starting to get low again.........hmmmmmm, I hate feelings

Sazbo

Chelsea? Hmmmmm

:rotfl:

Gloomy mood? Because tomorrow it's back to work?

I think that's probably how it started, now I just get gloomy anyway, probably habit Might go out for a walk in a bit, before it gets too cold/dark.

Well, I have some new things to think about.............although i'm starting to get low again.........hmmmmmm, I hate feelings

Yes, they're a pain in the behind aren't they?!

Miroslav

Sazbo wrote:

Chelsea? Hmmmmm

:rotfl:

Gloomy mood? Because tomorrow it's back to work?

I think that's probably how it started, now I just get gloomy anyway, probably habit Might go out for a walk in a bit, before it gets too cold/dark.

Well, I have some new things to think about.............although i'm starting to get low again.........hmmmmmm, I hate feelings

Yes, they're a pain in the behind aren't they?!

A walk is always good But when I was working, after a day or two off, the thought of going back to work make me feel really bad

Feelings..........hate them most of the time. I just hope one day someone will more frequently give me good ones

Miroslav

EthelBloggs wrote:

*sighs* He's still sulking!!! The atmosphere in the house is terrible and it's just getting me down soo much.. I dunno if I want to cry or throw things. Not very conducive to the amount of research and work I have to do.

Saw my cousin yesterday.. she has a way of putting you down while making it seem like she's being nice if that makes sense? She said I look like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown and started acting all concerned and made me sooo angry with that patronising b00lsheet she's so good at.


Arrgghhhh.. anyway, rant over.. hope Mirsolav is having a lovely time and that everyone else is ok too

Still sulking?

Ahhhhhhhhh, the nice patronising people......

I was having a lovely time.......ahhhhhhhhh.......I hate the comedown afterwards

Miroslav

feelinggood wrote:

Seems like there is alot going on in everybodys lives, but we are all going to stick together aren't we girls!!

Miro - I know you're out, but just sending you postive vibes, fingers crossed for you still. Let us know how you get on!x

I'm not a girl Can I be an honorary girl?

Those vibes must have worked

Miroslav

I've just been for a long walk on my own. Nearly went to chat to our local Samaritans............i'm feeling really low, for some reason.........trying to work out why

1. Missing 'S'. Really enjoyed yesterday, the text she sent, saying she cared and wanted to get to know me more, and the hug she sent via text, plus the warm hug goodbye, the great time we had, the look on her face when I was paying for things she couldn't afford, the sheer delight. I sent a text reply, but she didn't respond again.

2. Worried about 'S' lots, she freaked out at the fair and shouted out loud about the guy who tried to rape her and got all his mates to try it on with her and humiliate her. I don't know how many people looked as I didn't care, I was just worried about her. She kept apologising and we kept saying it was alright, I had to rub her back/arm (was not confident enough to hug her!) and she calmed down. She was funny for a bit afterwards, a bit scared incase she saw the guy again......she was looking for people she didn't like all night though, expecting them to be there, and she often 'sees things'. I'm not saying he wasn't there, but i'm really worried she's getting really ill again and hallucinating once more. Her hurt is causing me alot of upset, I just want to make her feel better. She did cheer up, when I gave her money to go on stalls, so as to take her mind off things and she went home with 3 cuddly toys. She was so happy. I paid for all 3 goes, but won once myself, and gave her the toy.........it's what I really wanted to do all night, win her something and give it to her, she seemed to appreciate it

3. My feelings have been turned upside down by 'S'. I don't know my true feelings for her. Do I love her? Yes I do! Am I in love with her....I don't think so. I just totally adore her, feel her pain and want to look after her and want her to care for me too. I get really angry and upset when I hear the things people have done to her. I still don't know it all, but to find out that a guy tried to rape her and get his mates to join in has totally left me distraught :mad: :wall: I'd struggle to find a nicer, sweeter girl than 'S' I'm totally confuzzled (In Rose's words!) She is going to be such hard work, i'm gonna feel alot of pain along the way, but i'll never give up on her...........NEVER!

4. She was talking of leaving my town, because of all the bad memories. I don't want her to go! I'm just beginning to get to know someone I think ALOT of. She shouldn't be forced out by these people, she shouldn't let them win!!! I don't want to lose her friendship.........not now, not ever

Loads more going on in my head. Mostly about 'S' though. All this has made me realise, I need CBT rather than Psycho Dynamic Counselling, focusing on my behaviour now. I can't change the past, I just need to be able to move on with the future, the situation with 'S' has taught me that. I just need to meet nice people.

Flatmate not helpful today. Thinks i'm strange for feeling depressed after yesterday.

She did say however, that she's noticed I think alot of 'S'

I can't stop talking/typing about her........she's firmly etched on my mind.

Done a bit more of my song..........When i'm ready, would anyone of the regulars like to read the lyrics via PM? I don't really want to put them on this thread. They are very basic, English is not my mother tongue, but basic and cheesy is fine, as it's a song for 'S'.