depression

feelinggood_2

CCStar wrote:

Are you also having trouble sleeping tonight?

What help do you feel you need? Do you feel it is chemical or would be eased if someone would believe and understand you? Preferably someone from your family. If you want to PM me about the other things that happened, if it is too sensitive to post on here, then feel free.

Your OH has no right to tell you you can't do something. Is he the type that gives you pocket money and you have to ask or even nearly beg for things? We have a joint account and we make sure we can pay the bills and what we can have with what is left over.

You can buy these tapes or CDs in shops, they are very good if you can find a quiet time in the day where you won't be disturbed.

It sounds like there is lot of locked up pain, which you are relieving with the OCD/self harm. Crying is a good release.

When I get to this point, I can't cry.
Can't sleep.
I've been drinking, rather alot. Scared to go to sleep - don't want nightmares tonight, I know I'll get them tho.

I want to talk. I want a proper diagnosis. If I have got something like bipoliarity, meds would help.

Horasio

feelinggood wrote:

When I get to this point, I can't cry.
Can't sleep.
I've been drinking, rather alot. Scared to go to sleep - don't want nightmares tonight, I know I'll get them tho.

I want to talk. I want a proper diagnosis. If I have got something like bipoliarity, meds would help.

What happens in the nightmares? You must be feeling very strange, being scared to sleep.

Can you ask for counselling? Or a referral?

feelinggood_2

CCStar wrote:

What happens in the nightmares? You must be feeling very strange, being scared to sleep.

Can you ask for counselling? Or a referral?

Nightmares - usually its something along th abdonment, rejection lines. Nothing specific, just general.

I could ask for conselling, don't know if I'd get it after me leaving treatment last time.
Referral where?

Horasio

feelinggood wrote:

Nightmares - usually its something along th abdonment, rejection lines. Nothing specific, just general.

I could ask for conselling, don't know if I'd get it after me leaving treatment last time.
Referral where?

Was there a good reason you stopped counselling?

I'm not sure but maybe a psychologist or psychiatrist, as they can prescribe meds and combine counselling with the meds. A doctor only has a short time at surgery, they will go throught the notes and prescribe the most common meds.

Have you been abandoned or do you feel you will be? Do you fear being alone?

feelinggood_2

I've been abandoned, and feel I will be again.
I'm scared to be alone yes.
I left conselling cos I got better all of a sudden
How can I get a referall? Do I just ask?

Horasio

feelinggood wrote:

I've been abandoned, and feel I will be again.
I'm scared to be alone yes.
I left conselling cos I got better all of a sudden
How can I get a referall? Do I just ask?

What scares you about being alone?

You got 'better' because it was working, were you taking meds or was it just talking? Obviously, the counselling was beneficial. Can you resume it? It is common if you take meds and they work, you stop them because you feel OK again. They are why you feel better and the effects will diminish when you stop taking them.

Ask the doctor if there is anyone that can give you further counselling. I am not sure exactly who you need to be referred to but, simply ask if you can be referred to someone specialised? The doctor will ask you some questions and they will assess the type of depression from your answers but do ask for counselling too. There may be a waiting list but it is a start.

Have you been on any meds or simply talked?

feelinggood_2

CCStar wrote:

What scares you about being alone?

You got 'better' because it was working, were you taking meds or was it just talking? Obviously, the counselling was beneficial. Can you resume it? It is common if you take meds and they work, you stop them because you feel OK again. They are why you feel better and the effects will diminish when you stop taking them.

Ask the doctor if there is anyone that can give you further counselling. I am not sure exactly who you need to be referred to but, simply ask if you can be referred to someone specialised? The doctor will ask you some questions and they will assess the type of depression from your answers but do ask for counselling too. There may be a waiting list but it is a start.

Have you been on any meds or simply talked?

Been on 2 types of meds, both increased my suicidal thoughts.

I dont just get better tho, I get fantastic. ON top of the world. Invincible.

Horasio

Abandonment Dreams

To dream that you are abandoned, suggests that it is time to leave behind past feelings and characteristics that are hindering your own growth. Let go of your old attitudes. A more direct and literal interpretation of this dream is that you have a fear of being deserted, abandoned, or even betrayed. Do you feel that people are neglecting your feelings?

Dreaming that you are abandoned, may stem from a recent loss or a fear of losing a loved one. The fear of abandonment may manifest itself into your dream and is part of the healing process of dealing with losing a loved one. It may also stem from unresolved feelings or problems from childhood.

Horasio

feelinggood wrote:

Been on 2 types of meds, both increased my suicidal thoughts.

I dont just get better tho, I get fantastic. ON top of the world. Invincible.

Can I ask which ones you were on?

That does sound manic, do you come down after a period of feeling fantastic?

Can you figure out what makes you feel manic? Does it come from nowhere or does an event, season or person make you feel this way?

feelinggood_2

CCStar wrote:

Can I ask which ones you were on?

That does sound manic, do you come down after a period of feeling fantastic?

Citalopram and Paroxetine.

I come down yeah. The lows are bad. But the highs are beautiful - you see things other people don't see
I've only had 3 manic periods.