depression

Sazbo

flis21 wrote:

Hi All,

How are we today? Have just got back from my gym session. Feel a bit tired, but quite pleased with myself that I did it. Am going back again tomorrow, to go through the routine they have devised me again, then I can go whenever I want!!! He said about 3 times a week at the gym would be good to really get benefit from it, with 30 min brisk walks on the days I don't go to the gym.

It wasn't as scary as I thought, so I am really hoping I can stick to this, to make me feel better and lose some weight!

Well done flis! :T :j I'm sure you'll be looking good and feeling better too in no time. Sxx

flis21

Definitely think you will need a coat and maybe some sexy thermal underwear!!!! If it's for his work I can understand you not wanting to go. My OH always wants me to go out on his work dos, but all they do is sit around talking about work and I get so bored!!

Sazbo

feelinggood wrote:

I haven't even got a coat tho, its about 1-2 degrees there - think I'll have to get a coat

Yes best get a coat hun... we don't want our FeelyG all frozen now do we?

feelinggood_2

flis21 wrote:

Definitely think you will need a coat and maybe some sexy thermal underwear!!!! If it's for his work I can understand you not wanting to go. My OH always wants me to go out on his work dos, but all they do is sit around talking about work and I get so bored!!

Luckily we don't have that many work do's, about once a month or so - and thats with some really great guy - we drink and talk about really private things hehe. Its only a couple of minutes till one of us says something totally innappropraite.
Normally, I wouldn't mind - I'm used to go everywhere with him for work, but I just don't really feel up to it. I'm just gonna lay down some rules - he either has to do it totally my way, or I'm not going to help at all. I don't like how I've got to do it all, then he complains or makes last minute changes.
Means we are gonna have to go back home to manchester soon too, he'll want to see everyone before we go

Miroslav

Hello everyone, I hope we are all okay.

Things got too bad for me yesterday, and went to my local Samaritans. Was there for 2 hours. Really friendly people.

The lady I saw said I had to be me, and that 'S' has to shoulder some responsibility and I shouldn't put all the blame on myself. She said in relationships of any kind, both need to make sacrifices and compromise.

'S' is really struggling right now, I only want to be there for her, but I fear she will kick me out of her life. She doesn't accept help, she doesn't accept that people care about her (Well, in reality it's just me and flatmate) and she has so many unrealistic hopes and ambitions, at least for now.

I only found out on Sunday, her academic skills are really really bad. And I mean like a 5 year old. She can send text messages........her spelling is okay, although some words she can't do, but her numeracy and writing are woeful, her writing especially. She's been so neglected over the years, she's learnt to do things herself, and right now she's struggling, so I know Sunday wasn't my fault neccesarily...........I just went too fast, as to show my appreciation of someone, I buy them things and I think she felt I was taking over, which was my last intention. I just wanna take her pain away She talks about all these friends she has, but i've met 3 or 4. They'll say hello, but you can tell they are just being polite. She can be loud and over friendly, and people look at her like she's a freak. It would be so easy to use her, but because I have been totally the opposite, she's confused My flatmate knows, that she has very few real friends, perhaps just the two of us.

She was so 'up for it' on Thursday, but I did not take advantage. I paid for everything, because I wanted to prove, unlike others, I didn't want her for money or sex, and that I truly cared for her. I think she doesn't understand......maybe she thinks I rejected her?

I tried too hard, and I hope she wants me in her life. I've decided, if we do meet tomorrow, i'm going to just be honest with her, be myself and tell her i'm not going to change, and that if she can be honest with me, we'll be fine. If she doesn't want me to buy her something, she must be honest and tell me "thanks, but i'll be fine"

I am disappointed she wasn't honest with me, because we had agreed to being honest and she didn't keep to it.

She is really open to being abused and mis-treated right now, in fact all of the time, so i've just got to be there if and when it happens, no matter how hard I find it.

If she cancels tomorrow, i'll be back in deep depression............i'm not exactly out of it now, but i've decided what i'm going to say and i'm going to be me, because I don't want a friend who wants me to be someone different, although I will make compromises.

Sazbo

Miroslav wrote:

Hello everyone, I hope we are all okay.

Things got too bad for me yesterday, and went to my local Samaritans. Was there for 2 hours. Really friendly people.

The lady I saw said I had to be me, and that 'S' has to shoulder some responsibility and I shouldn't put all the blame on myself. She said in relationships of any kind, both need to make sacrifices and compromise.

'S' is really struggling right now, I only want to be there for her, but I fear she will kick me out of her life. She doesn't accept help, she doesn't accept that people care about her (Well, in reality it's just me and flatmate) and she has so many unrealistic hopes and ambitions, at least for now.

I only found out on Sunday, her academic skills are really really bad. And I mean like a 5 year old. She can send text messages........her spelling is okay, although some words she can't do, but her numeracy and writing are woeful, her writing especially. She's been so neglected over the years, she's learnt to do things herself, and right now she's struggling, so I know Sunday wasn't my fault neccesarily...........I just went too fast, as to show my appreciation of someone, I buy them things and I think she felt I was taking over, which was my last intention. I just wanna take her pain away She talks about all these friends she has, but i've met 3 or 4. They'll say hello, but you can tell they are just being polite. She can be loud and over friendly, and people look at her like she's a freak. It would be so easy to use her, but because I have been totally the opposite, she's confused My flatmate knows, that she has very few real friends, perhaps just the two of us.

She was so 'up for it' on Thursday, but I did not take advantage. I paid for everything, because I wanted to prove, unlike others, I didn't want her for money or sex, and that I truly cared for her. I think she doesn't understand......maybe she thinks I rejected her?

I tried too hard, and I hope she wants me in her life. I've decided, if we do meet tomorrow, i'm going to just be honest with her, be myself and tell her i'm not going to change, and that if she can be honest with me, we'll be fine. If she doesn't want me to buy her something, she must be honest and tell me "thanks, but i'll be fine"

I am disappointed she wasn't honest with me, because we had agreed to being honest and she didn't keep to it.

She is really open to being abused and mis-treated right now, in fact all of the time, so i've just got to be there if and when it happens, no matter how hard I find it.

If she cancels tomorrow, i'll be back in deep depression............i'm not exactly out of it now, but i've decided what i'm going to say and i'm going to be me, because I don't want a friend who wants me to be someone different, although I will make compromises.

Good to hear from you Miro x. I have to leave work shortly so I don't have time for as full a reply as I would like right now. But do want to say that you sound like a different person after your chat with the Samaritans - I'm so glad you did that. It's entirely understandable that you wanted to do everything you could to show 'S' that your intentions were honourable. But obviously it will take a long time for her to fully appreciate what that means, because for so long she didn't know any different. By the same token, even though she might tell you she will be honest, right now it might be more to do with the fact that she wants to say things that she thinks you approve of, rather than deep-down understanding what it means to say you'll be honest with someone. Am I making any sense at all?
But also I think you're approaching tomorrow in a sensible way - and I mean for yourself as much as for 'S'.

I need to skidaddle now, but I'll try and catch up with you again this evening if you're around. Take care hun, Sx

rose07

hi everyone, feelinggood, tiff, miro, saz, flis, ccstar, everyone

im feeling awful at the moment. i had a bad day at work
I had an embaressing time at lunch

And it took me 4 hours to do something i coulda done in 30mins :mad:

So angry and frustrated, im tense and stressed, and well ya know just fed up and carp, feeling like im useless and stupid.

Just wanna say, miro, its glad to hear from you, and good to know you went to the samaritains, they made some sense?

and tiff thanks for the kind words, you seem to understand me which is good that someone does. x

and saz, hope you keeping well hun? i was on here briefly today bout well in the morning, coz i was feeling soo carp, but couldnt find the strength to post, and i am not meant to be on the internet anyway when at work :mad:
But i seen you were on and it cheered me up, so amazing its the small things for me that matter.

anyway going to go and eat some skittles.

soz i aint managed to catch up on things yet tonight, am sooo nackered, and upset etc....

will try and be back on later as i need a hug xxx

Miroslav

Sazbo wrote:

Good to hear from you Miro x. I have to leave work shortly so I don't have time for as full a reply as I would like right now. But do want to say that you sound like a different person after your chat with the Samaritans - I'm so glad you did that. It's entirely understandable that you wanted to do everything you could to show 'S' that your intentions were honourable. But obviously it will take a long time for her to fully appreciate what that means, because for so long she didn't know any different. By the same token, even though she might tell you she will be honest, right now it might be more to do with the fact that she wants to say things that she thinks you approve of, rather than deep-down understanding what it means to say you'll be honest with someone. Am I making any sense at all?
But also I think you're approaching tomorrow in a sensible way - and I mean for yourself as much as for 'S'.

I need to skidaddle now, but I'll try and catch up with you again this evening if you're around. Take care hun, Sx

Ahhhhhhhhhhh..................things have gone a bit funny again.

'S' has phoned my flatmate and is unwell. She says she will phone me tomorrow morning if she can't make it. Fair enough, will be gutted, but as long as she gets well soon.

Now, flatmate and I have had a disagreement. She suggests I don't explain anything to her now, incase I frighten her off.

So i'm getting different advice, and i'm totally confused.

Shall I say what I need to say, by explaining why I showered her with gifts/money or shall I just ignore it and move on. Shall I ignore any "How are you" questions or shall I respond?

If she is too unwell tomorrow, I was thinking of buying her a get well card (Had a small op today) and send some flowers...........flatmate thinks the flowers may be too much?

Now flatmate says I should send an explanation in with the card (But not anything with long words)

I'll reply to you post more specifically after dinner Saz, but what I just wrote came up as I was reading your reply

feelinggood_2

Only a quick reply sorry, but I think you should be honest - thats what you both agreed, and its what you should try x

Sazbo

Miroslav wrote:

Ahhhhhhhhhhh..................things have gone a bit funny again.

'S' has phoned my flatmate and is unwell. She says she will phone me tomorrow morning if she can't make it. Fair enough, will be gutted, but as long as she gets well soon.

Now, flatmate and I have had a disagreement. She suggests I don't explain anything to her now, incase I frighten her off.

So i'm getting different advice, and i'm totally confused.

Shall I say what I need to say, by explaining why I showered her with gifts/money or shall I just ignore it and move on. Shall I ignore any "How are you" questions or shall I respond?

If she is too unwell tomorrow, I was thinking of buying her a get well card (Had a small op today) and send some flowers...........flatmate thinks the flowers may be too much?

Now flatmate says I should send an explanation in with the card (But not anything with long words)

I'll reply to you post more specifically after dinner Saz, but what I just wrote came up as I was reading your reply

I'll be back later, but in essence I think my gut feeling is to... agree with Feeling Maybe if she's ill you might not want to give the whole explanation tomorrow, but in general it probably is important to be honest, otherwise things could unravel further down the road if there hasn't been clarity early on. Sorry it's brief but I will back later this evening. x

Hi rose hunnie big hugs to you, spk ltr xxx