depression

Horasio

Had a much better day.

The building work was mostly quiet. So got more peace.

We went to show the car to our son and had another test drive. Fingers x'd it is OK. It was nice to spend time with him. Looked at other cars to compare for the next car we want to buy, but not yet! It is hard work, especially when it dies on you and need to rely on someone else. Our son has been accommodating this week, so the meal was a reward and was nice to have the work done for me, so I could really enjoy it:).

Tiff_2

Slayerx wrote:

Sorry haven't been around much im good thanks all still taking my meds and things seem OK atm

Hi Slayerx - good to hear from you angel
I've been thinking of you and wondering how you were doing. I'm really pleased that you are doing well. Take care.
Much love
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

rose07 wrote:

Hi tiff huni
how are you doing?
Hi Guys Sending everyone good Tuesday vibes. Sorry I wasn't around yesterday. So before I go any further, welcome to our new and old friends - good to hear from you all. I also have to aplogise to Saz for giving her a sex change when she wasn't looking - I'd just missed the s off hun, that's all.
yeah saz is a sweetheart (ooo her ears will be burning now, )

Hope so tiff, miro if ya listening, stop beating yaself up, and start looking after you.
Hi Miro, just letting you know we're all here.


oh i know all about shades of grey (being a photographer ), there are lots, from the mid greys, to the light ones, and the dark, and when taking a photo you gotta get it just right amount, bit like life really, it all needs a balance there are darks, highlights and midtones in grey just as there are in life, hope this makes sense? Yep, perfect Rose sense!

ahh thanks for the vibes hun, i needed them today, got a big job on tomorrow :eek: (yes i will be stressed), and i am waiting for a phone call tomorrow on some freelance work, so fingers crossed.
Wishing you well with work hun. :j

i have a question thats been on me mind for a few weeks:
my boss said a couple of weeks ago when i told him about the councelling, that for him to help me, i need to help him? can someone tell me what this means?
I'd take it as meaning that in order for him to help you and to avoid putting you in upsetting situations, you should feel free to be able to talk to him if you are feeling upset, stressed or need time off for any appointments etc. Of course you should not pour your heart out to him unless you feel comfortable. I was once told that you don't need to tell anyone anything (NOT APPLICABLE TO DOCTORS/COUNSELLORS ETC),if you don't want to - you shouldn't have to account for yourself to others if you don't want to.

I have had a hard time at the mo, finding it soo hard getting up in the morning:o , and my body aches alot, lol. and then there is the bus journey at the end of the day, school kids, and people :eek: , one woman was sitting next to me tonight and constantly leaned on me hip, i am very shy and dont feel i can say oy!!!, im soz to complain, but the littlest thing is getting me fed up at the mo, the slightest noise, things out of place, that kind of thing.
'Sokay i have soo much to do this week and no time to do it in.

Hey tiff hun, how your day go?
thinking of you

I think im scaring myself sh*tless here, i have watched spooks and just watched vincent, not a good idea just before bedtime.QUICK - Get The Sound of Music out!!!:rolleyes: :rotfl:

oh i also have another question:
my councellor is off this week or next week, but i have forgotten which one, i dont wanna look silli by turning up when im not meant to be there, but very scared about ringing up, my councellor is deaf too, :rotfl: (yeah i end up talking to meself) what to do?
Doesn't your Counsellor have a secretary? If she is with your GP's surgery, they may have the appointment info as she would need to book a room maybe? Counsellors are used to people forgetting their times angel. Always write it down before you leave her because we tend to get very emotional with counselling and depression as well, causes us to forget.
Rose, only you would get a deaf counsellor bless her!:rolleyes: I'm sure she hears fine or she wouldn't be working. Give her a call hun.'Sokay


well i am shattered, and sore time for bed
sweet dreams everyone esp you tiff
xxxx

ps: i drew all your names on my computer today, all of ya, tiff, saz, miro, flis, ccstar, feelinggood, avacadomummy, Mrs A, betty,. , but it keeps me going. xxx

:eek: :rotfl: :T
Much love
Tiff xx

Tiff_2

CCStar wrote:

Had a much better day.

The building work was mostly quiet. So got more peace.

We went to show the car to our son and had another test drive. Fingers x'd it is OK. It was nice to spend time with him. Looked at other cars to compare for the next car we want to buy, but not yet! It is hard work, especially when it dies on you and need to rely on someone else. Our son has been accommodating this week, so the meal was a reward and was nice to have the work done for me, so I could really enjoy it:).

hey cc - hope you're well hun? I'm glad you've had some peace and quiet at last bless you. It'll all come right in the end angel
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Sazbo wrote:

Hi Rose hun x I'm just back from acupuncture and feeling knackered. Going to have to crash soon. Also today I had to start filling in a fairly detailed questionnaire in advance of my counselling initial consultation next month, which has left me feeling a bit drained and emotional. So hope you'll forgive me not chatting for too long. I know you've had a really stressful day too, so I hope you get some rest tonight also. Much love, saz x

Hi Sazzy
Here's your 's' back hun - just typing too much that night is all - you've not been speyed angel:eek: ...yet!:rolleyes: :rotfl:
I won't tell you counselling is an easy path hun. You're there to get help with things and naturally talking about them is upsetting. But it is so worth it!
TIFFY TIP -I started to take 2 headache tablets BEFORE I went as I knew I'd come out looking like a bloodhound and with a banging headache due to all the emotion it brought up for me.At least the paperwork's done now
Have a terrific Tuesday.
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

feelinggood wrote:

I've gotta go, but please send me good vibes, I really need them
x

With you all the way
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi Simone

simone2697 wrote:

I posted near the begining of this thread and cant beleive how it has grown! WOW!!!
I Just wanted to ask a quick question really.
I went to my drs on Friday as i have been really bad lately!
He has decided that medicaton just doesnt work for me. I have been on and off meds for years and never found the 'right one'.
Anyway he has refered me for councilling. I mentioned that i was thinking of trying st johns wort but that it affects contraception. He couldnt offer me any ideas for alternatives.
He has, as one last try, put me on Mirtazapine. Has anyone used this? I am concerned about what side effects i may experience. Can anyone help?
Thanks.

Simone
xxx

Hope you're well this a.m. Simone.
We can't offer medical advice as you know. Is there another GP in the practice you could see?
I am a little concerned that a GP would be making such negative blanket statements - "He has decided that medicaton just doesnt work for me." and that you've used the words "He couldnt offer me any ideas for alternatives." and "He has, as one last try, put me on Mirtazapine."
If this is your GP, you need to go back and say to him, or another GP, that you would like a referral for an assessment with the CMHT (Community Mental Health Team). If you're having all these problems with illness/tablets etc, you should be seeing a specialist! You may find that counselling does help so don't turn that down. But I think you should ask to be referred because as my own GP told me, the best help for any long term problem is with a specialist because they have had more training and experience in their field.
I just think it's wrong that you're going to the doctors and having to guess answers for yourself. Leave the St John's Wort for now until you ahve spken to someone - your usual chemist maybe or GP - about whether it will interact negatively with any other things you may be taking. Good luck hun.
Tiff x

Tiff_2

Hi Avocado
You are doing the right thing by posting angel. Here's my 2p's worth

avocadomummy wrote:

My my has pretty much washed her hands of me and there's no one else (suster has own life getting on with),. What is best for kids is for us to behappy - but not achieveable - I did love him so much and put him on a bit of a pedestable. He is a high achiever - and I have not achieved anything so my low self esteem is a problem here too.
I'm sorry that you feel so isolated by your family. Without being nosy, why has mum washed her hands of you? Angel, you have to remember that while he was out being a 'high achiever' YOU were feeding him, cleaning, raising children and sorting problems! You are a high achiever Avocado! Your low self-esteem is due to being in a relationship where you are being put down, feeling unloved, bullied and unwanted and because you are alone. Angel, I don't know how old you or the children are, but we can find ways to get you achieving qualifications etc. You can feel good about yourself hun.

Private schools seem to be the bv4st (we pay £35,000 after tax income a year for them so you can see how crippling that can be). He says that since nothing makes me happy I am not able to make any decisions and he will make them all.
Hun, whether you like it or not, he is abusing you. He is not allowed to take anything away from you - you're their mother and you have all the rights you need. It is cruel to threaten you like this. These things would be grounds for divorce under unreasonable behaviour. He has no right to make you feel so low and to take away any decision making from you - no-one does.I would consult CAB on this situation and get professional advice.

Also its too late for me to change, so why jeopardise their chances, so give them all the advantages they can have.
My mum and dad had problems for years and finally divorced after 24 years of marriage. Believe it or not, I found this MORE devastating than if they'd had the courage to do it while we were still children. What really matters to a child is a supportive, safe, warm and expressive environment. You have to take into account the life lessons you are teaching them - that money and their happiness is more important than a loving home.
Angel, I'll be 42 Christmas Day and although Rosie and Saz and some of the group (just kidding) :rolleyes: think that this is the same as being 62, I haven't finished changing yet!:j Every person and experience in our lives changes us and that never ends. This should give you hope. A family's happiness is not measured by its income. I'd bet you are not the same person now that you were at 20? Well, whatever your age hun, you will be different again in a couple of years. You are bound to feel it's too late for you hun when you're just put down all the time.

His dislike of me is palpable. Does your husbsand not love you anymore or is it the other way round? How do you live with it? Does anything make you happy. How old are you and how long have you felt this way - sorry for all questions, just want to make contact with someone

Hun, he should be ashamed of himself. Don't let your children or yourself see that this is what life and relationships are like. God forbid they should grow up thinking this is ok and that money is more important than happiness. I feel so badly for you. Being in that kind of relationship is worse than being in no relationship and his treatment of you is bound to be making you so very unhappy.

Here's what I can suggest as far as your situation hun. You need to get some professionals involved.
-If you are very depressed, see your GP immediately angel. They really can help.
- Next stop is Citizens Advice Bureau, regarding your marital situation. they should refer you on to a solictor for a free initial consultation (most solicitor's do that now anyway - check the phone book) and tell you what benefits and help you could get if you were to leave. You may even find that if you've been together so long, he'll be paying you as well as the children something and he may continue to fund their private schooling.
- Then it's off to see your local coucil's housing office to register on their list by filling out a form.
Angel, you deserve the best life you can get and make no mistake about it, you are being abused, emotional cruelty jumps to mind. I do speak from experience hun. There are various groups and professionals that can help yu not only get your life back but make you feel 100 times better. You CAN get qualifications hun. You CAN get a better quality of life. You owe him no loyalty angel - he is using you.
I try to detach myself from getting too personal but it takes a lot to make that first step I know. And yes, there'll be a lot less money maybe but he will at least have to support the children. You deserve the best life you can get angel - and it doesn't sound like you'll get that in this situation.
Avocado, this wouldn't be the end for you angel, it's a chance for a shiny new beginning where you are in charge of how you are made to feel and what happens in your life.
So today, get up, hair, dressed, make up on, eat well. Probably the last thing you'll feel like doing but it is good for you. See your GP and be really honest with what's going on - don't be afraid. Make those phone calls (you can do a search on the internet for the details of your local CAB), start squirreling away £s for your escape route. Start to try to be calm angel and to look after yourself physically and emotionally, this will lift your self-esteem: there's nothing better for that than getting your life back and showing him you can survive and survive well ( The 1st one who sings 'I Will Survive' in the Peanut Gallery will get a Tiff letter!:D :rolleyes: :rotfl: ).

I just want you to know you do have choices Avocado. I'm not a man-hater at all either Everyone on thiss thread will be here to listen and care whenever you need it, whatever you decide.;) You can be happy again angel.

And it all start with baby steps.....
Much love
Tiff x

simone2697

Tiff wrote:

Hi Simone


Hope you're well this a.m. Simone.
We can't offer medical advice as you know. Is there another GP in the practice you could see?
I am a little concerned that a GP would be making such negative blanket statements - "He has decided that medicaton just doesnt work for me." and that you've used the words "He couldnt offer me any ideas for alternatives." and "He has, as one last try, put me on Mirtazapine."
If this is your GP, you need to go back and say to him, or another GP, that you would like a referral for an assessment with the CMHT (Community Mental Health Team). If you're having all these problems with illness/tablets etc, you should be seeing a specialist! You may find that counselling does help so don't turn that down. But I think you should ask to be referred because as my own GP told me, the best help for any long term problem is with a specialist because they have had more training and experience in their field.
I just think it's wrong that you're going to the doctors and having to guess answers for yourself. Leave the St John's Wort for now until you ahve spken to someone - your usual chemist maybe or GP - about whether it will interact negatively with any other things you may be taking. Good luck hun.
Tiff x

Hi Tiff,

Thanks for your message.
I should have mentioned in my post that i was refered to counselling in march / april this year.
Unfortunately there is a 12 month wait at least round here. I received a letter in august asking if i still wanted to remain on the list and returned it to them.
When i saw the doctor last friday he told me he had had a letter from them saying a had been removed from the list as they hadnt heard from me.
The dr said i should have redieved the same letter too but i hadnt.
So dr is writing to them to tell them i did return it and please put me back on the list.
What concerns me is - will i be put back to the bottom of the list? Having waited this long already i will be rather miffed if i am all because the royal mail are incompetant!

Simone
xxx

feelinggood_2

Morning everyone, hope you are all good
Not had a chance to read thru the posts, hopefully will be able to go back and have a gander.
Feeling low today. Last night was really hard - very very low.
Still low today, and dying for a drink.
Talked to OH yesterday, he says I'm allowed to drink, but no more that 5 pints worth - leaving the drinking till the afternoon, otherwise I'll go passed that.
Yeah, I really don't know what to do, feel I'm being pulled in all directions.