depression

flis21

Hi everyone, good evening. Doesn't seem to be many people around today.

Well, have not had a good day, got myself quite worked up at work. My manager this morning said we needed to have a 'chat' this afternoon, so spent all morning and lunchtime panicking about what I could have done wrong. Turns out she just wanted to go over how things are going, two weeks into the job. She did mention a few things that I could work on, but she wasn't masty about it and said that she didn't expect me to be doing everything perfectly two weeks in.

OH is working this evening, so am home drinking on my own, which is not good. Still dwelling on my hamster's death and just getting myself worked up about anything and everything. Well, money mostly. We have just had the confirmation that our IVA has failed, are now waiting for the final certificate. OH has had the first chasing solicitors letter, but I expect to get many more over the next few weeks, until we can afford to go bankrupt, which probably won't be until well into next year.

Have lots of worries going round in my head, can't shut them up, so am trying to drink them away. I know that is not really the answer, but I need to do something. Can't wait till OH gets home about 11pm, but he is working all day tomorrow and I can't face a day here by myself. Will go crazy (ok. probably already am!!) Is anyone here, I could really do with chatting.

Miroslav

flis21 wrote:

Hi everyone, good evening. Doesn't seem to be many people around today.

Well, have not had a good day, got myself quite worked up at work. My manager this morning said we needed to have a 'chat' this afternoon, so spent all morning and lunchtime panicking about what I could have done wrong. Turns out she just wanted to go over how things are going, two weeks into the job. She did mention a few things that I could work on, but she wasn't masty about it and said that she didn't expect me to be doing everything perfectly two weeks in.

OH is working this evening, so am home drinking on my own, which is not good. Still dwelling on my hamster's death and just getting myself worked up about anything and everything. Well, money mostly. We have just had the confirmation that our IVA has failed, are now waiting for the final certificate. OH has had the first chasing solicitors letter, but I expect to get many more over the next few weeks, until we can afford to go bankrupt, which probably won't be until well into next year.

Have lots of worries going round in my head, can't shut them up, so am trying to drink them away. I know that is not really the answer, but I need to do something. Can't wait till OH gets home about 11pm, but he is working all day tomorrow and I can't face a day here by myself. Will go crazy (ok. probably already am!!) Is anyone here, I could really do with chatting.

:wave:

Sounds good that your review went quite well. I hope you are enjoying it?

Sorry you are on your own feeling bad, I'll be watching the clock untill 11pm, knowing your OH will be home

You know drinking is not the answer, so I won't patronise, but try and find something to do for 2 hours!!

Miroslav

Sorry if I mince on about 'S' so much

My panic was for no reason, as my previous post about 'S'

My flatmate met her, and she's had a hard time since Tuesday, with her estranged family causing her grief, and has been very low, but apparently, over lunch she couldn't stop talking about me How nice I was, how good looking I am :rotfl: and how she's really looking forward to doing things with me

She's delighted at the freeview box we have offered her, can't wait to borrow some CD's from us both and some clothes from my flatmate.

Like myself, she's been through alot, but as she's so vulnerable. People, mainly blokes and family, have really taken advantage, and really destroyed her. Her 'happy' act is all it is, an act. She hurts alot and thinks men are all the same, so my flatmate has warned me, she may come on to me, so I'll have to find a way of politely refusing. Don't get me wrong, she's very attractive, but I'd love a close friendship with her, especially at first. I want to prove to her, I really like her for her, I don't want sex or money in exchange for friendship like her past encounters, I just want her friendship in return.

Anyway, I text her to say sorry she was feeling low, I was thinking of her, and if she needed anything.........(Checked with flatmate who said it would be a nice gesture)

She text back (a few times), and we meet again Thursday. She's really excited she says, and flatmate says she thinks she really likes me as she couldn't stop talking about me and how nice I was, and kept asking things like "does he really want to do this" "Did he mean it when he said I was nice"

Fantastic girl, who I am very fond of, doesn't deserve the things i've heard has happened to her, and I don't even know the full details, and won't push for them.

I just cannot wait until Thursday and the future weeks and months. Such a nice down to earth girl who deserves someone to look out for her, like flatmate and I will.

On another positive note, my application for a volunteer role at my local hospital is in.

Sazbo

Hi flis :wave: Hi Miro :wave: flis I'm rather fond of a glass of red after bad day at work when I get home so I can't talk But obviously best not rely on it too much. How about putting a DVD on - a nice film for example, until OH gets home? Try not to dwell on all the other things too much, although all too easy said I know.

Miro sounds like you had an ok day today? How nice of you and yr flatmate to sort out a few things for 'S' - I'm sure she'll really appreciate it.

Boy am I glad that week's over. I'm knackered. Really ought to go to yoga tomorrow morning, but it's at 8.30am :eek: and somehow lying in bed always seems a far more appealing prospect at that time of the morning, rather than tying my legs and arms in a knot Having said, I do usually feel better for it. So guess I'll see how I feel in the morning...

Sazxx

Sazbo

Miroslav wrote:

Sorry if I mince on about 'S' so much

My panic was for no reason, as my previous post about 'S'

My flatmate met her, and she's had a hard time since Tuesday, with her estranged family causing her grief, and has been very low, but apparently, over lunch she couldn't stop talking about me How nice I was, how good looking I am :rotfl: and how she's really looking forward to doing things with me

She's delighted at the freeview box we have offered her, can't wait to borrow some CD's from us both and some clothes from my flatmate.

Like myself, she's been through alot, but as she's so vulnerable. People, mainly blokes and family, have really taken advantage, and really destroyed her. Her 'happy' act is all it is, an act. She hurts alot and thinks men are all the same, so my flatmate has warned me, she may come on to me, so I'll have to find a way of politely refusing. Don't get me wrong, she's very attractive, but I'd love a close friendship with her, especially at first. I want to prove to her, I really like her for her, I don't want sex or money in exchange for friendship like her past encounters, I just want her friendship in return.

Anyway, I text her to say sorry she was feeling low, I was thinking of her, and if she needed anything.........(Checked with flatmate who said it would be a nice gesture)

She text back (a few times), and we meet again Thursday. She's really excited she says, and flatmate says she thinks she really likes me as she couldn't stop talking about me and how nice I was, and kept asking things like "does he really want to do this" "Did he mean it when he said I was nice"

Fantastic girl, who I am very fond of, doesn't deserve the things i've heard has happened to her, and I don't even know the full details, and won't push for them.

I just cannot wait until Thursday and the future weeks and months. Such a nice down to earth girl who deserves someone to look out for her, like flatmate and I will.

On another positive note, my application for a volunteer role at my local hospital is in.

That's great news Miro, I'm genuinely really really pleased for you. Nothing less than you deserve. Sxx

flis21

Miroslav wrote:

:wave:

Sounds good that your review went quite well. I hope you are enjoying it?

Sorry you are on your own feeling bad, I'll be watching the clock untill 11pm, knowing your OH will be home

You know drinking is not the answer, so I won't patronise, but try and find something to do for 2 hours!!

I know drinking is not the answer, but sometimes it helps to shut up the worries and paranoia in my head. I can't relax and it is the one thing that is guaranteed to help me relax. Have only had 2 glasses of wine, so not too bad, haven't got onto downing shots or anything.

I am really enjoying the job, the people are really nice and it is a nice atmosphere to work in and I don't spend all day everyday in a state of panic and anxiety the way I did in my previous job (and I don't have to avoid my boss, as I like the manager of my current place!)

Miroslav

Sazbo wrote:

Hi flis :wave: Hi Miro :wave: flis I'm rather fond of a glass of red after bad day at work when I get home so I can't talk But obviously best not rely on it too much. How about putting a DVD on - a nice film for example, until OH gets home? Try not to dwell on all the other things too much, although all too easy said I know.

Miro sounds like you had an ok day today? How nice of you and yr flatmate to sort out a few things for 'S' - I'm sure she'll really appreciate it.

Boy am I glad that week's over. I'm knackered. Really ought to go to yoga tomorrow morning, but it's at 8.30am :eek: an somehow lying in bed always seems a far more appealing prospect at that time of the morning, rather than tying my legs and arms in a knot Having said, I do usually feel better for it. So guess I'll see how I feel in the morning...

Sazxx

:wave: Sazbo

It was bad until 6pm Now it's great........kinda..........upset that 'S' is feeling low. Flatmate is going around Sunday to cheer her up, so will send my love with her. She is an appreciative girl, I just don't wanna offer too much too soon, although i'd love too.

Good luck at Yoga, if you go! Well done on getting through the week!

Miroslav

Sazbo wrote:

That's great news Miro, I'm genuinely really really pleased for you. Nothing less than you deserve. Sxx

Still scared she'll push me away, but maybe that's natural, i've not done this for along time

Miroslav

flis21 wrote:

I know drinking is not the answer, but sometimes it helps to shut up the worries and paranoia in my head. I can't relax and it is the one thing that is guaranteed to help me relax. Have only had 2 glasses of wine, so not too bad, haven't got onto downing shots or anything.

I am really enjoying the job, the people are really nice and it is a nice atmosphere to work in and I don't spend all day everyday in a state of panic and anxiety the way I did in my previous job (and I don't have to avoid my boss, as I like the manager of my current place!)

Whatever works for you, as long as you can control it

Sounds a great place for you to work. Keep on enjoying

flis21

Sazbo wrote:

Hi flis :wave: Hi Miro :wave: flis I'm rather fond of a glass of red after bad day at work when I get home so I can't talk But obviously best not rely on it too much. How about putting a DVD on - a nice film for example, until OH gets home? Try not to dwell on all the other things too much, although all too easy said I know.

Miro sounds like you had an ok day today? How nice of you and yr flatmate to sort out a few things for 'S' - I'm sure she'll really appreciate it.

Boy am I glad that week's over. I'm knackered. Really ought to go to yoga tomorrow morning, but it's at 8.30am :eek: and somehow lying in bed always seems a far more appealing prospect at that time of the morning, rather than tying my legs and arms in a knot Having said, I do usually feel better for it. So guess I'll see how I feel in the morning...

Sazxx

Hi Saz,

I am trying not to drink too much. Have got the telly on and am watching About A Boy, but doesn't really help that Toni Collettes character is a depressive!!

OH is getting up at 6 tomorrow to go to work, think I will stay in bed and read my book, have just started reading My Best Friend's Girl, quite sad but really interesting and addictive.

You will probably feel better if you get up and go to Yoga, and it will be a brilliant start to your day.

I am taking the plunge and going to join the gym on Sunday. A bit scared, hope they are not all fit poser types in there, but it will do both my weight and my depression good. Have been trying to diet for ages and haven't got anywhere, so thought I would try exercising instead. Who knows, maybe after I have been exercising a while I will feel more like dieting again.