depression

flis21

Morning everyone, Hi Sazbo, thanks for talking to me last night. It did help to have someone to chat to. Am once again here on my own, but my sister is coming round soon to take me up my Mum's for a bit, so I am not going to be on my own all day.

Didn't have a very good start to the day, woke up worrying about everything and anything. Then started reading my book and got really into it. Have now got dressed (yeah!) and done the bit of phoning around I had to do. Just have to find the motivation to clear up, doing the washing up etc. Then have to go into town this afternoon to get straw for the bunny and then come back and clean him out. All before my hubby gets home at about 5.30. But he is going to order a pizza for dinner tonight, so no cooking, yeah. And there is loads on telly tonight, Robin Hood, Strictly Come Dancing and X Factor. Not sure how I am going to fit it all in!!

Sorry, I always ramble when my anxiety is bad, my thoughts come too quickly and I just right them all down!!!

Hope you all have a good day.

Sazbo

No problem at all flis - it was nice chatting to you. I'm also looking forward to SCD and X-Factor tonight! But will get out and about this afternoon, get some air. Take it easy, saz x

jeppy

OK here is honesty. I am not clinically depressed or am I??
I suffer from jealousy! I openly admit to this, my first husband couldn't cope and left me, did I learn??

Yes of course, but I think it is a medical condition that I cannot cope with!! So have i changed, the answer is no!!!

I have seeked help, but jealousy is a fear to be overcomed, a little like spiders!! You hate them the only way to overcome the fear is to hold them!! I to have been told to overcome my fear of my OH being attracted to other women is to watch him looking at them!!!!!!!!! Oh NO

please dont get me wrong, I am pretty OK, but I am not 19 nor am I Claudia Schieffer, I have a look of jennifer saunders, princess di, kath mitchell (there goes my age)

but i hate me, I used to be skinny, now i feel i am fat!!! I am really only concerned with my tummy, but cos of this I hate me!!!

I dont want to go anywhere unless I know the situation!!

Tonight is my works do and the younger boys are bringing their girlfriends with low cut dresses!! So we are not going!!

I like life I want to do things, but I always worry about my jealousy!!

my life and my families life is affected by my jealousy!!

I am sorry!!!!!!!!

I want to change!!

Is anyone else like me??

rose07

Hello to all, Tiff, Miroslav, Sazbo, Mrs A, Flis, Betty, Gillette, Slayerx, feelinggood, bunnie, CCStar, muffin, and anyone else.

thinking of you all

How are you all doing?

I am going to try and catch up with you all this weekend. will do me best

CCStar how are you doing? glad you have had a good day so far, and that you kept busy, but dont over do it hun, take it slow and gradual, x

Flis, u ok?, It is horrible to feel alone, ya can get paranoid and all sorts. But we are all here for those times, it is nice to see that saz was here and able to chat, that’s what we here for to help ach other through the hard times.

Miroslav, how are you? Any more updates on you and your girl?
It is great that you and your flat mate are trying to help her out by lending her things, she will feel like she isn’t alone, sounds like she lives in a run down place, maybe just check she has what she needs eg: locks on the door. But you are being a good friend and this is good, just keep thinking positive and things will turn out for the best, take care
X

Mrs A, how are you?, last time you were thinking of going back to work have you managed to do this?, and are you keeping well?

Feelinggood, I hope everything is going well for you in Germany, and that you are not stressing too much, just try and find some energy and motivation and keep yourself going, and when you get back we will be here.

Hello jeppy,, welcome, I have been jealous before, I am no longer jealous as I used to as I distance myself from the situations that would have me upset and jealous, this would only cause pain, I am still trying to overcome it but its still there, lol. There are many things associated with depression just depends what kind of person you are and how you take on things.

Arrghh big spider in room (one of my phobia is spiders)
(dad got rid of it, woo hoo)

ok where was i

ah yes

Sazbo, how are you hun? Yoga sounds good and things you are keeping active aren’t you? That is great, how has your day been and are you taking care? How is work going? I ask to many questions don’t i? lol x

Betty, are you ok? If your hurting please post and we can try and help or be here to talk to. Otherwise if you being a busy betty, well done get out there and get things done. Hope you ok huni x

And tiff, well I have a lot to say to you. . .. . .
And thanks tiff for telling me dates, I wouldn’t tell you off, you’re a huni. Hope you ok?
Ok well you have been warned, be prepared for lots of typing.

And yes this is my week, the week I dread, oh im getting upset thinking about it. So good vibes people, and positive thinking, lol. And remember hugs go along long way xxx

And hugs and love to everyone, hope your all ok, and taking care
Remember we are all survivors we are here and we are fighting.

Much love all
Remember you are all wonderful people.
xxx

rose07

Hi tiff
How are you huni?

I have had a busy, hectic, stressful week, as I think you know. And no doubt next week will be the same. (I am dreading next week, lol):rolleyes:

And I tell you a secret, starting from Monday is when my bad dates start, so positive vibes people. (I will need them, lol) (but seems tiff has already told you all), (well done tiff, x

I know you would never tell me off, (more a gentle persuasion). A ducks bum eh, lol, that had me laughen :rotfl: . I wish I could stop hurting hun, but its all very powerful at the moment. )

I was terrified about telling my manager, I realised honesty is the best policy, (im against lying). And yeah as you say it worked out for the best.
Ooooo oooo did I tell you how the councelling session went? prob, not, lol
Ok, well I was very scared about going, didn’t know when the best time to leave work was and didn’t know what to say to councellor, and I just generally didn’t know.
I asked my boss if my manager had told him I had to leave at 3, he said yes (but in a very nice way, as if to say, yes don’t worry).
I left work and it was only a 10 min walk to the councellor as it is near where I work.
Well the first thing I see when I get there is a code door,, it felt very institutey didnt like this at all, as it is not very relaxing environment, then I was speaking with my councellor, (she is very nice so far) Though when I spoke she seemed taken back by the thingsi said, as if she was slightly concerned, (I thought councellors are meant to show no body language, lol, ) it lasted bout an hour, then had to get back out of all the security (it feels like you are in a mad house with all the security, not v nice)
But went back to work, felt quite emotional, my boss was very nice, kept telling me to take things slow. Then later on my manager came over and asked if I was ok and if things went ok. So they all were v nice.
( I work with all guys by the way, they are all in their 40s+ so its strange to be around them, but as you can see they are all very nice to me.

You right tiff, how do we make sense of all this? Why do people hurt us?, why do things hurt? Why wont the pain go away? Why is there no justice?
You are my inspiration tiff, as you say you are still here and you have been through similair thing to me and you infact we are still here. We are strong tiff.
I was just looking through past posts and seen one of mine (page 10), I was reading it and realised, yes I have awful, carp , and totally despairing times, but I am still here, I have been through a lot and I am still fighting, I haven’t taken the easy way out, We are a team now. And we are both strong things , we will get there, and that goes for all of us.
I hurt all the time hun and it hurts sooo much words don’t express, but at the moment or at least now, I am trying to be positive, I cant change the past, of the awful things that have happen but I can change the future!

I am sure that come tomorrow I will be right down again, and feeling awful , but for this moment, I can at least think, YES, I am not going to let you beat me.

And yeah tiff, I think we have each other well figured out too. (you lucky person, only special people get to know me ). We have shared similair experiences, we know where the other one is coming from and understands when the other is not ok…
That reminds me, how are you hun? (now no skipping that question, your good at that ). You said you would know more about your op after weds, how did that all go?, also had any other appointments and things? And you said you really tierd at the moment? So you ok? Or are you jst a busty tiff, here, there and everywhere? Let me know where ya at. X

I agree hun, it makes me feel like I am not alone, knowing there are others out there, like you tiff that have been through some awful things. But we aren’t alone. I will always give my time to you and anyone here that needs it, I care about you and everyone here. But you know that. I don’t appreciate it when people have a go at others, so if anyone is slating you let me know, you have a backup with me.

You had a day from hell hun, now ya gotta tell?

How are things going with your DS? Things getting sorted for his start at college? You must be proud?

So scale o meter time on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best how you feeling right now?

Take care hun
Much love
xxx

rose07

as you can all see im trying to catch up. . . .:D

lol, it will give you all something to read. . . :rotfl:

xxx

Sazbo

rose07 wrote:

as you can all see im trying to catch up. . . .:D

lol, it will give you all something to read. . . :rotfl:

xxx

:rotfl: That's ok rose, would rather you post than not :D - just glad to hear from you and you're sounding ok all things/dates considered. Good that the people at work seem to be understanding and nice - I always think that makes a difference.

I'm feeling quite good after doing my human pretzel impression this morning :rotfl: Anyway just glad to hear from you. Saz x

rose07

Tiff wrote:

:hello: :hello: :hello: :hello: :hello:
Hi guys - Tiff signing in!:rolleyes: Don't say I didn't warn you!:D
Big hugs to rose, flis, miro, feelinggood, slayerx, razorb., sazbo, gillette, mrs.a, bunnie, muffin, cc, regularsaver(welcome:) ), elona, and please forgive me if I've missed anyone out.:o
Hi Tiff, how are you?, Im catching up with your posts hun, can ya tell?

Well, it's been an up and down week for everyone - me too. I'm sorry I haven't been around much this week guys but I have been thinking of you all.x
So whats been happening tiff?, yeah i have had a mad week, work mad, home mad, social life mad, general, mad, mad, mad, lol. :rotfl:

HEY ROSE! Sorry for shouting.;) Hope you're all right angel? I'm hoping the reason you haven't posted is because you've just been too tired to do so. I know it's been a hard work week for you and I hope the new job is going well. I hope things have settled a little at home for you hun. Your friend will miss you as much as you miss her - but it's not the end hun, it's just a change of geography! When you get chance, I hope you'll post to bring us up to date. Thinking of you x
I dont mind you shouting, well maybe not too loud eh hun, my ears are a bit sore, along with the rest of my body, I am keeping fighting hun, still here and in one piece, but we will see what the next week brings....., new job is going good, yeah i been a very busy thing but this week has all kinds of emotion for me, with new job and first session with the councellor. things are still the same as ever at home, but parents going out tonight, so i have the house to myself (and there is a chocolate cake about). yeah miss my mate, would prob be out tonight if she was here, she is my drinking and talking buddy. now who am i going to talk to?, im checking in hun, im thinking of you and everyone here too xxxxx

I'd suggested a while back that we post dates that are particularly hard for us. She'll probably kill me for this:o but Rosie has had some awful experiences between the 16th and 19th October.
Ah tiff i wouldnt kill ya, but you have been sneaky while i have not been here.

May I suggest that when we get chance, that we send Rose some huge hugs from this thread and remind her of all that's wonderful about her?
I know all of us will be here to support her if she asks for help, but I think that when you've had something awful happen to you at a particular time, it's wonderful to hear some positive things then about yourself and what you mean to other people and that you are more than just what happened to you.
thank you, thank you, hugs yes, positive vibes yes , you do know what keeps me goig dont you, i am dreading this week, it hurts alot, but maybe being at work will keep me busy, maybe the staring at the screen will just make me think, and mind wonder, maybe i wont know what to do with myself, time will tell, but i will appreciate you all thinking and sending good vibes to me, and hugs yeah, i love hugs xxx

It really helps just to get you through the day and helps us start reclaiming those anniversary dates back as [I]our own[/I], by letting people care about you and by treating yourself, no matter how small when possible.
Put a set amount of time aside to cry your eyes out and lie in bed and get some of the pain out - but try not to go over that time limit. Thinking ok, I've shouted,cried...etc. for all the reasons this day is so hard for me, now I'm taking some of it back to balance it all out.
here, here hun, hope you listen to your own advice you very good. x

Plan something even if it's just a putting some makeup on, (no - not you miro,saz,slayerx!;)), -{no offence meant guys!:o}, - watching a light hearted film, cartoons - forget about all the responsiblities of the day and do exactly what YOU want to do, no matter how silly - jump in puddles, crunch on autumn leaves, have a hair cut (cheaply at colleges), anything - bring some pure fun into the day, without worrying what people think.
I will show you my thing that keeps me going at times hun, you very special to see this, this is my baby she is my pride and joy, and when she smiles, i smile.
http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n72/rose07_01/holly/IMGA0261.jpg

It's all about making it your day again instead of making it the day of xxxxx. Every year, increase the fun bit, more and more. We all have very good reasons for having our bad dates, but that doesn't mean we should suffer for the whole day. We give our feelings due respect about the day and I know it won't change what happened, but it gives you a little bit of power back. The days do not belong to the people who hurt us anymore and we're going to get through the day with at least one positive to show whoever hurt us that we're still here and we're survivors, not victims!
too right tiff, you are a clever, wise thing, i treated me today bought some clothes spent bout £90, :eek: , but got some lovely clothes for work, found some other things i like and needed and going to give myself a reason to keep going this week by saying right if i get through this week, i am going to treat myself to something at the end of the week

So, accordingly, I name 16th-19th of October as Rose's Days.:A
Rosie, I will give you a good reason every day from 16th-19th why I appreciate you. So watch out!:D
oo yey my own days, thank you tiff, thank you huni, your reasons will keep me going and help me be positive and start me to think and feel like i have those days back to call my own, so i will appreciate that alot.

On to our gang in a while - sorry if my posts get too long. Sometimes it can help if you have missed reading the posts for a few days as you can sometimes see a pattern (i.e. someone needing to vent) or you can also see that as well as people going down, they get right back up again - real inspiration.
Hope all is well with you and to say i've missed you all this week.
Much love,
Tiff. xxx

well think me catching up now, god its taken a while but i have gotten there.
as you can see by the posts i have been busy, off for me tea now, and back in a bit.

much love to you
take care always
xxx

thank you for your lovely post hun, it has made me feel like i am not alone and that we are al here together
xxxx

rose07

Sazbo wrote:

:rotfl: That's ok rose, would rather you post than not :D - just glad to hear from you and you're sounding ok all things/dates considered. Good that the people at work seem to be understanding and nice - I always think that makes a difference.

I'm feeling quite good after doing my human pretzel impression this morning :rotfl: Anyway just glad to hear from you. Saz x

thanks saz x

i have been thinking of you all alot, it is nice to know that people care and that you all know this is my bad time.

it starts from monday so fingers crossed eh? work should keep me busy tho, i hope, tho sometimes i look past the screen and think sometimes so hope all goes ok.

yeah i am glad they are all nice at work, they are all guys 40+, so sometimes its hard to around such a male environment but they are all nice.

human pretzel impression? do tell? :rotfl:

nice to see you saz
xxx

Sazbo

rose07 wrote:

thanks saz x

i have been thinking of you all alot, it is nice to know that people care and that you all know this is my bad time.

it starts from monday so fingers crossed eh? work should keep me busy tho, i hope, tho sometimes i look past the screen and think sometimes so hope all goes ok.

yeah i am glad they are all nice at work, they are all guys 40+, so sometimes its hard to around such a male environment but they are all nice.

human pretzel impression? do tell? :rotfl:

nice to see you saz
xxx

Aww take care next week rose, keep posting if you can. LOL human pretzel impression: i just meant me in a yoga class - arms and legs twisted all over the shop! :rotfl: Take care you x