depression

flis21

feelinggood wrote:

I felt the same when each one of my hamsters died - I blamed myself. Took a while to realise that I gave them the best life - I really loved them, and thats what they want. Sounds like you gave your hamster such a wonderful time - they do love thier balls don't they! And I'm sure they love being talked to, you can sorta see it in thier eyes I think.
You could always consider getting a different type of pet? That way, you won't feel like you are replacing her - a different pet might be easier to adjust to than a new hamster. I had my first 5 hamsters in a row, got each one a week or so after the other one died. They were very different, but I loved them all the same. It isn't replacing her - the great thing about love is that you never have to take it away from someone to give it to someone else - we've got a never ending supply.
Well done on stopping drinking, that must have taken an awful lot of strength, I'm very proud of you.
xxx

Thanks FG. I do have a rabbit as well, who has been getting lots of hugs this evening, whether he wanted to or not!!

Think I will probably get another hamster eventually, I love them, they are great animals. But I want to wait for a little while to sort of respect Fifi's memory and to allow me time to grieve for her. It will be wierd putting another hamster in her cage, but can't afford to buy a new cage just because of my silly sentimental notions!!

Horasio

flis21 wrote:

Hi All,

Well you were right. Posted on here that everything was good and I was feeling fine, then something !!!!!! happens! My hamster has died today. She was 2 years and 8 months old, which I know is really old for a hamster, but it still hurts like hell. We got her to keep me company when oh was at work, as he works shifts and was often away in the evenings or at the weekends. I spent hours talking to her and playing with her, used to build her little assult courses and let her run round in her ball for ages, which she loved.

I know some of you will think I am silly being that upset about a hamster, but I was so close to her and I loved her a lot. Sorry to go on, but I have tears streaming down my face. I feel like getting really drunk, but don't want to go into work with a hangover tomorrow, would not look good when I have only been there 1 week!! Think I will have to take a sleeping tablet tonight tho, otherwise no way I am getting to sleep.

Sorry to dump on you all.

Awww I want to cry for you.

It is horrible losing a pet

((((Big hugs))))

rose07

Tiff wrote:

DAMN STRAIGHT TIFF IS GOING TO TELL YOU OFF FOR THAT!!! Did you think I wouldn't stop by to see how everyone was doing? The minute my back's turned...:rolleyes:
Hi Rosie - I thought we had an agreement here? You poor thing - are you all right angel? :grouphug: I know what you meant. But what you are feeling is natural because it was a situation that set off one of your triggers. Let's look for the positives here - stop slapping me - there is a positive!
Grab one of these :coffee: - here we go hun...
POSITIVES:
-Rose, you were out with friends - you wouldn't have been doing much of that recently. Good for you.
- Your friends obviously care enough about you to look out for you.
- You were having a nice time at different points.:dance: _party_
- Your ex paid you a nice compliment so you weren't looking like last night's dinner!
- You got up, made an effort and you weren't still in your pyjamas! ... were you?!:rotfl:
- You weren't legless and unable to protect yourself.
- You were in a public arena so people would and did step in.
- You fought back Rose - that took guts! You didn't just fall apart.
-You got out shaken but thank God, unhurt.
- There's good guys out there too.
-You've got a new job tomorrow hun - they chose YOU! :):) You're a better you than you know!:A
- Think of all the people on this thread alone who are glad that you're here.
- Part of what you're feeling is down to shock hun - so natural.

NEGATIVES:
- Self harming - why do to yourself what you feel other people have done to you? Don't give the sw!nes the satisfaction! I do understand though hun. Just don't forget that one day, there won't be a reason to do it, you'll be at a good place in your life and you don't want to end up looking like the
M1!
- I'm telling you off for not punching him hard enough and at least twice!
- It was a trigger for you. I'm always telling you angel to be kind to yourself during these hard times. You know I'm not preaching I hope angel and that I'm talking from experience.
- Karma's a b!tch ! They'll get theirs. :rotfl:

You deserve some fun and relaxation. Have you tried guided meditation angel? I have some very good Tiff tips on that!:) I'll post tomorrow re the guided relaxation.
Hun, hot drink, hot bath and bedtime. I'm so glad you posted before doing anything angel - although I haven't read all the posts yet. I had a bit of a fight over on the freebie board myself (in a post about Tony Robbins self help) and I was insulted, hurt and angry. I was scared because I don't do :mad: but I was fit to be tied.
You once asked me what a Tiff letter was - if you can find the thread on there from today you will find ou:o t! I can report that the Tiff letter received both a public and private apology to me which I graciously accepted.
Angel, hold on to the fact that not everyone out there is going to hurt you - it's our pain that makes it hard to deal with.
Now take off your bunny slippers (bet you've got bunny slippers!:rotfl:) and get into bed. Report back tomorrow on your first day and good luck hun - I'll be thinking of you.
Get some rest now because the future starts tomorrow .....
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

ah ha, there you are, had to go back a few pages to find this, (been meaning to reply to this all night but been busy) x
so your turn, how you doing?
thanks needed that telling off, phew. lol. you know how to do it dont ya.
should i be telling you off for anything?

i want to thank you for your post as it was prob the best thing i have seen all day to give me some inspiration, ok will explain.
my day today has been manic, up at 5am, have had barely any sleep in 3 days, but i managed to get up. was on the location by 7am, set up by 8am, then waited for 6 hours, was very hard work as i had me thoughts and the colour purple book (great book that, sad tho, but inspirational kinda read).
i am aching like anything now, as i was on me feet for the time, and my knees feel llike jelly and back stiff, etc..., plus did i mention i have tonsilitis and banging headache. lol
anyway the 6 hours finished and i went into town as i felt awful , and like i had done a awful job, and i needed some therapy, so got some new clothes for work. while i was out got a phone call from a councellor saying that there is now a slot free on thursdays at 3pm, would i want it, i didnt know because of work. i was thinking about it all the way home, i said i would ring back as i dont like talking in public, i got home and didnt feel great quite low, and just didnt want to do anything, didnt want to ring my boss and tell him as i was soo scared/terrified at what to say(went round in circles for a while), and he doesnt even know me yet. . then i read your post and it was like a pin in me bum, i jump up, went downstairs rang me boss (before i have even started work) asked him if i could have thursdays off, told him why, he said of course, then told me how he was looking forward to me starting tomorrow and what to expect.:D

but just wanna say thanks, think if it wasnt for that pin up the bum i wouldnt have got up and thought right i need to sort this out. i know this is going to sound cheesy but it really helps to have this thread, it is nice to know people are thinking of you and sending vibes to help you when they know you are going through something. xxx

so that my day today, phew its been a busy one. lol

ok back to the post at hand. . .
all the dates are getting closer tiff think i am just having a severe AARRRGGHHHHH moment. lol . am i ok??? thats a toughy, yes, no , maybe, i dont really know, , you do ask some tough questions, think i am soo running on adrenaline at the mo, i wouldnt know if i was ok or not be honest when i manage to STOP, will let you know. lol.
arh thanks for the hug, (see you know what makes me bit better )
triggers are a nuinsance, darn things. . . it was a major trigger on saturday night with that guy, my mates had to pull me away then shield me. i was sooo upset, i keep thinking about the night it happened 3 years ago, and keep thinking i shouldnt dwell on things, just get over it, but i cant, it hurts too much, and i cant face it alone. To think 4 guys would do that to someone, it doesnt make sense in me head, its truly f**ked up.
oh im getting angry and upset now lol
why do people do these things? i had to go through in and out of hospital for weeks, i have nightmares, i am hurting, i am scared, i cant eat, cant sleep, and im just . . . . . na gonna stop typing or i will make you all depressed. lol (we all have it already, :rotfl: ). think you all get the jist anyway, your bright people.

just scrolled up to read those positives again, and breathe, phew,
yes i stood up to him and fought back and yeah i have great friends, as i say they are very protective of me. one of them goes away weds tho, and im gonna miss her like i miss my baby when not with her.

and yeah negatives too. i dont know why self harm, and your totally right tiff , why do what others have, i dunno, i dont have the answer to this one as i have never found the answer. one of my mates hung himself and i never could understand it. so i dunno.
i would never think you would preach at me, as i know you understand and have prob been through or are still going through what i am. but i am stubborn in the being kind to myself part tiff (tho i do have some choccie somewhere ).

anyway back to the being fine and positive, i have a new job tomorrow, woo hoo. if ever a time i need positive vibes and lotsa hugs its now. dreading it, i am bound to stuff it up. i stuff everythign else up, darn it, positive, positive, positive.

what is guided meditation tiff?

anyway as i say thanks for the post as it gave me a bit of a kick before.

right where is this tonyrobin thread thingy? we a good team here, im your getting any slack give me a shout and i can back you up, i know you are a good tiff,
i hope you are ok?
will be thinking of you and everyone tomorrow,
oh jees, i have typed too much, oh no i might get told off.....
right better be offski,
take care tiff
hope you ok,
i expect a nice post within the next to days of how you are doing?
i hope the hysterectomy thingy goes ok? but why it at a maternity hospital? hhmm tiff is there something your not telling me,
any more appointments coming your way?
well just let us know
take care huni
much love
xxx

ps: can you teach me some geneology (is that how you spell it?) sometime?, im realli interested in this and well done on getting books published, what were they called? thats a great achievement tiff, :T :T :T
xxx

soz its very long x

rose07

im off to bed
banging headache and parents shouting
sweet dreams everyone
thinking of you all
night night
xxx

Horasio

Miroslav wrote:

Not silly at all, sorry to hear about the Hamster

When my cats pass, i'm gonna ball my eyes out............it just so happens, 4 of the 5 will be 12 tomorrow (the other is 12 already) maybe it's the only thing i'll celebrate tomorrow

It'll take time to get over a loss, pets are important to us, part of the family.

I still miss my cat and she died in 1993.

We moved up to Scotland and had to leave her with my parents, she was getting old, so she wouldn't have liked the 350 mile journery. Unfortunately, my parents had to make the decision. We were very upset when they told us though.

We haven't been able to get another one due to living in rented accommodation, flats or having a more unstable lifestyle.

I would love us to get a house and have a cat again. To settle somewhere nice is my dream.

Horasio

rose07 wrote:

im off to bed
banging headache and parents shouting
sweet dreams everyone
thinking of you all
night night
xxx

I hope you sleep well. It isn't nice hearing your parents shout, so hope they shut up!

Horasio

My day today

Woke up at 7.30am - too early:mad:
Felt a lot better and enjoyed my music today. Put some more songs onto my mp3 player and my husband's mp3 player. He hasn't the time and I like to share songs I think he will like.
Baked a cake and prepared tea
Posted on the net
Had a nice tea with son and husband
Watched the soaps but fell asleep, so will watch the recordings.

I am making a Christmas cake tomorrow. If I can stop my son from nicking the boozy raisins

rose07

CCStar wrote:

I hope you sleep well. It isn't nice hearing your parents shout, so hope they shut up!

thanks just wish they would get along. doesnt seem to much to ask. lol

you sound like you have had an eventful day well done you.
christmas cake too, yumi.

i dont think i will sleep much as i am totally on adrenaline at the mo, i am constantly thinking and worry about tomorrow.
but im going to try me best.

take care all
and sweet dreams
xxx

Tiff_2

Hi Jellycat - Well done angel! Hopefully the intimate side will come back just like everything else is starting to. Mention it to your GP hun.
Much love
Tiff

Horasio

Who is having a hysterectomy? I had one years ago, so if you are worried or want to ask questions, feel free.

I had my ovaries out last year, as having my hysterectomy cured most of my problems, I should have had it all out the first time.

I don't regret it, if it needs removing, you will feel much better afterwards.