depression

urban_spirit

Miroslav wrote:

:wave:

Crushed and bruised? What have you been up too?

I'm not overly happy staying, but as you say maybe it's not time yet, although I been waiting so long, the time may never come.

Oh yes, the univeral card, of "you should be over it by now" See on the 'finding friends' thread, i've been accused of being a sulker

Hope you are having a better day today :T

Crushed and bruised - work AGAIN. ITs awful, and i'm not going to say anymore.

You are NOT a sulker, disregard that stupid comment.

I'm avoiding things today - for now. Need to make some very awkward phone calls shortly :rolleyes:

Are you sitting in a bath of cold water to keep you cool in this heat

Hope youre having a good day too

Miroslav

urban_spirit wrote:

Crushed and bruised - work AGAIN. ITs awful, and i'm not going to say anymore.

You are NOT a sulker, disregard that stupid comment.

I'm avoiding things today - for now. Need to make some very awkward phone calls shortly :rolleyes:

Are you sitting in a bath of cold water to keep you cool in this heat

Hope youre having a good day too

Hope it's sorted soon

I didn't think I was. I do get down alot, but not a sulker.

Awkward? Is this to do with work situation?

Nah, no cold bath yet, but lots of drinks and cold water over my head :cool:

Too much housework to do. We have propery surveyor coming next Friday, and need to do alot of housework as when down you let things go. Need to alot of painting and go in corners I haven't been in for a while

Tiff_2

razorbladekisses wrote:

I've been on Paroxetine for nearly 2 weeks now. Tbh I've not felt any better by taking it. I mean I know that they aren't the happy pills that some people refer to them as but I did expect to feel a little better. Lately I've been getting awful headaches lasting a few days and also horrible dreams. I don't know if it's a side-effect of the medication, the depression itself or something completed unrelated.

I just can't be bothered with life. I just want to hide away and be left alone.

Hi - I had to reply to your post - you sounded so desolate and in the shadows. Some medication as I'm sure you know can have side effects for a couple of weeks or a month so it could be side effects. Alternatively, different medications take different periods of time to kick in for differrent people.
I hope you didn't mind me replying angel. If you feel that rough you need to go back to the doctor. If nothing else maybe they can put your mind at rest.
Don't hide away - you'll be depriving the world of your personality. And the wanting to be left alone is the biggest cry for help - I have that experience;)
- and your worst enemy, although it doesn't feel that way at the time.
I hope you're feeling better. I just wanted you to kow you're not alone. I'm new here but there seems to be some really good souls on this thread.
Much Love
Tiff x

Tiff_2

Following on from my "In the same boat..." post - forgive the pun! groan...
I'm checking in on our threads nearly every day just to see how we're all doing.
In lots of ways, we're all saying the same experiences, thoughts and the feeling of isolation. Our various problems make us feel lost, low and feeling helpless. I think it's wonderful that we're able to share these things here. I have never spoken to anyone before about my experiences and your posts really do touch me and I find myself honestly caring because I can relate to a lot of the posts.
It is hard for other people to do that - it's not that they don't care: they're either frightened of mental illness (though I tell them I don't know anyone with mental ill health who has their own axe!!!:D ) or they can't relate to our illness and understand it. And we can't tell them when we're at our lowest, how it feels. But it's the same for all severe health problems - we might react the same way - ridiculous example to use I know, but I couldn't relate to someone with rabies because I haven't expereinced it...although I do have a teenager just leaving school, if that counts.:eek:
I sometimes feel like I'm the only one in the world with my illnesses (physical too) and totally withdraw but what I really need more than anything is a hug & someone to just listen without throwing well-meaning advice at me. Or just some quiet time and space to regroup my defences. I drive myself mad trying to think logically of ways to get cured but until a miracle cure arrives - and don't hold your breath! - I've got to learn to manage it.
You can't treat depression as an illness like measles (4 weeks later and you'll be okay). And that's the unfairness of it all. The first step I'm trying to learn is to recognize when I need help and to ask for it. If it's any help, my CPN told me that if you can go that far down, then you can come up again as nothing remains at a constant level not even depression and anxiety - it's impossible.
I'm sorry for the long post guys:o
I feel privileged to be sharing your experiences with you. It made me smile to realise that no matter how badly off we think we are, here we are sharing advice, experience, pain and the encouragement that it will change.
So, the story so far is ... we're all in the same boat, going up the same s*** creek and what I want to know is...
DID ANYONE BRING A PADDLE?!!;)
Wishing you all well,
Tiff x

bettyboop61

A big hello and hugs to all of us out there suffering!

I have been following the threads on here every day, most days its all I can do just sit and read, I haven't come here to spout words of wisdom, because as you all know depression is all consuming and nothing seems to help some days. I have an excellent CPN who I see everyweek, and without her to listen to me I don't know what I would do, like many of you I feel totally isolated and unable to talk to people in general because I guess they can never fully understand what it is like to be depressed.

I mean is it normal to wake up in the morning and start crying for no apparent reason, I cry because I just can't face the day ahead and all I want to do is to go back to sleep and escape into oblivion. Some days I know it is naughty of me but, I use my tablets to sleep 1 -2 days away, I have sleeping tablets and benzodiazepenes, I know it isn't the answer but, it is the only way I can cope sometimes!!
And then I get days like today, when I am feel I can cope a little bit and then go mad catching up on the jobs I have missed on my down days. I guess I am lucky in that I don't work, so I don't have those pressures, and that my children are all adults now, but they weren't when i first started suffering with depression, so they have seen me go in and out of hospital on a number of occasions, of course I am racked with guilt for putting them through all of this. I am ashamed to say that I have attempted suicide on a number of occasions as well, the last time being only 3 months ago

Anyway I didn't mean to ramble on so much, I just wanted to say hello to all my fellow sufferers out there, and to say that i have managed to shower and get dressed as well today, so that is an achievement for me.

I feel like I want to reach out and hug you all. Take care everyone

gingin_2

It's a bit of a self indulgent post here from me . I thought I was doing o.k but I have just had a great big weeping session and I feel so much better for it. The last couple of days have really got on top of me, husband away with work, hot and cranky children. This morning I woke up to find that my daughter had blocked up the toiled with loo roll. I then took her to the supermarket and she had a massive tantrum as she is exhausted with not being able to sleep in this heat, she never does this normally and some old bloke decided to make a really snide comment about it out loud. I was so upset.

I think I thought I was dealing o.k with my Grandad dying but I guess inside it has all been churning away I had a big heart to heart with my mum about things this morning, the funeral is tomorrow and there is a very long story behind it all that would take forever to write down but I was not looking forwards to it at all but having talked to my mum I feel so much better. I think getting tomorrow out of the way will be good for me. Tomorrow might also be a real mixed day of emotions as my SIL is being induced tonight so by tomorrow I could well be an Auntie again which is lovely.

Whenever I feel down now I try and stop for 10 minutes and think how I can turn things around. My son breaks up from school today and I am really looking forwards to the summer holidays. I made the children up activity bags with little things to keep them amused over the holidays so I will give them those tonight.

Big hugs to everyone. I hope we can all use this thread as a completely non-judgemental and anonymous way to put our thoughts and feelings down that perhaps we don't have the courage to tell anyone else.

Inbetween writing this DD has come downstairs from her nap and appears to be in much better spirits so here's hoping the day continues to get better

Mrs_A.

hi i just found this thread and spend a couple of hours reading all the posts
i am looking for some advice about what to expect really?
i have sufferrred depression for years been on just about every anti-depressent known to man had a visist from a cpn 2 and a half years ago and he said he wasnt going to follow me up must have persuaded him that i was fine. you see i am a staff nurse who nurses vulnerable elderly patients and i feel like i have to keep my depression secret from my work. i feel that if work knew about it my career would be over i am just about managing to cope with going to work everyday but the mere thought of going to work depresses me. i like my job and get on well with all my colleagues it just tires me out so much.
my gp has referred my to a psychiatrist and i have an appointment with him in 3 weeks it says on the letter that my appointment will last between 30 -60 minutes what will happen at this appointment?
gp says medications are not working and i have to agree with her. i would love to give up my job but sadly cant afford to. depression and hiding it has such a huge impact on my life i feel i am never going to recover and be able to lead a "normal" life. gp says my depression is endogenous so harder to treat but i am convinced the root cause is work and workning shifts. i constantly overeat i cant remember the last time i ate a proper meal i eat crisps, biscuits and chocolate all the time and drink about 30 cups of tea a day in addtion to smoking 30 cigs and not doing any exercise all of this must have a bearing on my depression i know but i feel too low to move my body and make a decent meal or get my bike out and go for a cycle.
can anyone tell me what this psychiatrist will do for me.
regars
mrs a

Tiff_2

Mrs_A. wrote:

hi i just found this thread and spend a couple of hours reading all the posts
i am looking for some advice about what to expect really?
i have sufferrred depression for years been on just about every anti-depressent known to man had a visist from a cpn 2 and a half years ago and he said he wasnt going to follow me up must have persuaded him that i was fine. you see i am a staff nurse who nurses vulnerable elderly patients and i feel like i have to keep my depression secret from my work. i feel that if work knew about it my career would be over i am just about managing to cope with going to work everyday but the mere thought of going to work depresses me. i like my job and get on well with all my colleagues it just tires me out so much.

-Hi Mrs.A,:)
I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. Admitting you want help, even to yourself, is scarey. So what do we do? We put on our masks & pretend that everything's okay. Which becomes more and more stressful everyday. The fact that you've managed to do such a demanding and caring job is a credit to you.:) Of course you're exhausted!
On the bright side, once you've seen the psychiatrist and you've got help - which you will get - you won't feel quite so exhausted. Depression is an illness like any other angel. No shame there. Is there any way you could switch to a different ward for a while? Would that help?

my gp has referred my to a psychiatrist and i have an appointment with him in 3 weeks it says on the letter that my appointment will last between 30 -60 minutes what will happen at this appointment?
-he psychiatrist will take notes, and start to form a treatment plan or maybe a diagnosis. They will LISTEN. You may fill out some evaluation sheets about how you feel. It is completely confidential.

gp says medications are not working and i have to agree with her.
- So she's done the right thing by referring you to a specialist who does know about a whole range of medications.

i would love to give up my job but sadly cant afford to. depression and hiding it has such a huge impact on my life i feel i am never going to recover and be able to lead a "normal" life. gp says my depression is endogenous so harder to treat but i am convinced the root cause is work and workning shifts. i constantly overeat i cant remember the last time i ate a proper meal i eat crisps, biscuits and chocolate all the time and drink about 30 cups of tea a day in addtion to smoking 30 cigs and not doing any exercise all of this must have a bearing on my depression i know but i feel too low to move my body and make a decent meal or get my bike out and go for a cycle.
can anyone tell me what this psychiatrist will do for me.
regars
mrs a

-if you spoke to any of the one in four people that have some kind of depression, these symptoms would be so common. Try and keep an open mind as to what the root cause is - that will make it easier for you to work
with. Your lifestyle is just as common to others with depression. I think it's the loneliest illness in the world but you CAN regain your life angel. It seems impossible I know but it will happen. No magic cure and no set timescale but if you can be totally honest and open with your psychiatrist, the help is there. Don't hold anything back. the financial pressure to keep working is understood but if you had, God forbid, pneumonia, would you still drag yourself to work? it's making matters worse for you angel.Can't you take sick leave?
Don't be frightened of the psychiatrist - he will help put things into perspective for you.It may difficult for you to deal with all your emotions and pressures at once, bt like you they are professionals and WANT to help.
I'm not preaching to you angel - I wouldn't do that to you.
I tell you all this from many awful experiences that took hold of my life and left me with severe depression. And no I'm not 'cured' yet but I'm learning to manage my life and to be kind to myself as well as all the other help I'm getting from my team. I'm doing things now that seemed impossible!
I'm thinking of you & if you post on this forum, I'll be hear to listen as will the other posters. I just wanted to reassure you that you have nothing to lose & everything to gain and that you will get there in the end!
Very best wishes. x

wigginsmum

My sister was diagnosed with clinical depression at 11 and has been on amitryptiline for the past 26 years. It's not ideal, but she can't function without it (so far). On it, she has managed to qualify as a psychiatric nurse (she manages the team on the ward where she was once a patient) and cope as a single mum, and frankly that's preferable to her being sectioned again after suicide attempts. She finds hers goes in 2 year cycles - every other Spring is bad for her but now she knows the pattern, she and the doc increase her dosage for as long as it lasts.

rose07

hi

i had depression a few month ago and may still have it, it was and is hard for the people that go through it but also the people that care for and love the people going through depression, it can control you like nothing else.

somedays you may feel like doing things and then other days you hit a low time your self esteem goes you dont feel motivated and you just have a bad time of it. not even wanting to get out of bed as you see no point to the day.

i am not on anything for the way i feel, dont want to take anything as dont believe it will help i have been asked.

i think the main thing is to get the help and support you need, i felt like i had no one at all but something, or someone made me see that i did have people there and this really counts for something.

hi mrs a,

in the appointment the psychiatrist will sit you down and talk with you, is it a pre visit? - this is where they have a talk with you to see if they have the right course of action for you.

i had one on tuesday, it was ok, little scary and nerve racking, but ok, main thing they are there to help you.

you may want to keep this a secret from people at work, but i found that if i kept it a secret from people they knew anyway, and sometimes if your going through something the more people around you to help and help you understand it all the better for you. hope this makes sense to you?

big hugs and love to all the people out there who going though a bad time at the moment, it can be hard to see if there is a way out but if you have people and support you may never need to feel like your facing it alone.
xxx