Minniepoos versus The Black Hole

savingholmes

HI hope the trip to spain goes well will be good to see your DD again. Your online friend sounds nice but definitely text friends his address, car reg, phone number etc if you go out with him and have a call in system to make sure you are okay.

minniepoos_2

savingholmes wrote: »

HI hope the trip to spain goes well will be good to see your DD again. Your online friend sounds nice but definitely text friends his address, car reg, phone number etc if you go out with him and have a call in system to make sure you are okay.

Don't worry - I've got a couple of friends who won't even let me leave the county without checking in with them regularly! We have kinda worked out a system so I know they'll be making sure I'm ok - with pretty much all the things you mention above. Thanks

minniepoos_2

Hi All. I'm updating this from Spain - still not sleeping so good, so might as well use my time productively!

Glad to report that things are ok. XOH has realised that he's thrown away a good thing for something not so good, but I don't want him back and I told him that. I'm enjoying being 'me' and doing stuff that I want when I want. I know that makes me sound selfish but I feel I neglected myself in my efforts to be a 'good' wife.

The solicitors manage to lose the contract for the sale of the house, so that has delayed it a bit. Hope it all falls into place soon - I need to get myself sorted out.

DDs birthday is in just over a month, so I've started looking around for the cheapest pink Ipod Nano (5th generation - not the new little touchscreen one) that I can find. Play.com seem to be best right now, at £106 & free delivery, but I will keep looking then hopefully order one when I'm back home.

I'm in Spain until next weekend, and XOH is off work this coming week so will hopefully be clearing out the loft and the garden. It does mean I'll come home to mess and dust everywhere, but at least stuff will have happened so moving day will feel a but closer.

I've still been speaking online to my long distance fella. Getting on well, and I'm looking forward to meeting him in 13 days. It's been nice to have something to do in the evenings - and we do have a laugh.

Not much more to report at the moment though. Trying not to spend too much money so I'm not short for the rest of the month. I think my car tax is due at the end of this month, so got that to look forward to. After I've renewed this time I think I'll start putting maybe £20 each payday into my savings account so I don't have to find such a big amount every 6 months. It'd be good if I could manage to pay for 12 months instead perhaps next time, as it does work out a bit cheaper. I'll see how it goes. I could always ask my folks for car tax stamps for christmas! (When I had my first car I used to get £50 of car tax stamps every year for xmas from my gran, which used to be the most boring pressie ever, but the most useful too!). I want to use my savings account as a kind of budgeting tool, to put regular amounts away for things like this, and christmas etc. Maybe even holidays, but that's not worth even thinking about for now.

Anyway, I'm gonna give sleep another go.

Night!

savingholmes

Glad things are going well

Hope house sale goes thro on time and okay

Sun_Addict

Hi Minniepoos

Just catching up with your diary. You sound like a very much happier person than you were not so long ago. Things have changed for the better. Lovely to hear you're enjoying your freedom. Serves XOH right now he realises what he's let go - he should've thought about that before he cheated! Well done you!

minniepoos_2

I can't believe how long it's been. Things have happened, but nothing drastic - still waiting to move.

I spent a lovely weekend with my online man. We had a really good time. Will probably see him again in a few months, but I don't think it's gonna be anything big. He lives so far away. We're still chatting a lot though, and it's nice.

I'm living in a world of cardboard boxes. Trying to pack, but still haven't exchanged so it's hard to get too motivated in case it's another few months.

XOH and his 'girlfriend' are expecting a baby. Bit of a shock, seeing as they've only been together 3 months, but apparently it was planned (yeah, right). DD was very upset by this - as any normal person would expect. She hid it from XOH tho, so he thought nothing was wrong, then when she came home she was crying to me about it. I then had the great job of telling him how she was really feeling and got accused of making it up to make him feel bad! Honestly, I do wonder where his brain has gone nowadays.

Feeling pretty low right now. Was doing ok, but have lost my grip a little and am slipping back down. I'm just so lonely. And weirdly enough, so horny too, which is just so unfair! I'm fine at work - we're so busy that I hardly have a chance to think about anything, but when I get home, and I'm all by myself - it's just too much. I've always hated my own company, even as a kid. I'm still not sleeping so good, and can't bear to lay awake in bed with no sound of someone sleeping next to me. Even watching telly is not fun by myself. XOH and I used to always laugh and joke about whatever we were watching, and now I'm sitting in silence.

Sorry to run on. In a bad place right now, and don't know how to climb out of it. I have noticed I'd started spending, so have really cut back again. Don't want to go any further down that road. Although having said that, I've lost so much weight that I've had to buy some new clothes - trousers were literally falling off me.

God, sorry - nothing for ages then a page full of whinge.

I'll try harder next time.

rainbow81

Hello

I just read your last post and I know what you mean! I am going mad with boredom, I don't work at the moment either so it is a lot of hours to fill in my own company. Also, my ex and g/f are due a baby this month, after he told me he never wanted any more! Well, not with me anyway.

Well, I didn't come on here to bring you down, though it looks like it! I just want you to know that how you are feeling is normal. I'm not all that social but I am lonely. Can't really comment on the h****y thing though! It did make me laugh.

Take care of yourself, and I am sure DD will be ok in the end. It is so hard seeing them hurt though isn't it?

R x

minniepoos_2

I've been trying very hard to motivate myself to get stuff done since my last post. I've caught up on my ironing, finally managed to get some things listed on ebay, and...erm...well, that's it so far. Meant to make some headway on the packing, but no progress to report yet

My one luxury is having my nails done every 3 weeks, but I was talking with a friend about it, and moaning that they always look a bit tatty for the last week, and she said she has hers done every 2 weeks for that very reason. So, I think I will from now on - which is a bit steep at £20 a pop. My friend pays £18 for hers, and I was thinking about changing where I go (in true money-saving style), but while my normal person was doing mine tonight I changed my mind. I've known her for over 8 years - I've been going to her for all sorts over the years - waxing, nails, fake tans, even a massage once! We've talked through everything over the years - our various house moves, her IVF treatment, subsequent kid stuff, holidays, our husbands and now my upcoming divorce and online bloke. So it would be good money-saving to change beautician - I would save £104 over a year, but I think I value the one hour every fortnight more than that. Bad for the purse, but good for the soul. Is that a fair trade-off?

I don't want to be wasting money, but I feel I should do things that lift my spirits if I can.

I've got the details for a few more houses. There are hardly any 2 beds around for renting, so these are 3s. Looking at around £595 per month. I think I can afford it, but it won't leave much. A couple of people have said that once I'm in I'll be able to claim some housing benefit, but I don't think so. I've had a look but it's so confusing. So I need to know I can afford it without the benefit, then if I do get it it'll be a bonus.

I think I've started rambling, so will sign out for now.
Night all

minniepoos_2

Evening all

I've managed to get a few more things on ebay - 11 so far, 4 with bids on. I've also found some more stuff to list during the week, hopefully I'll have some luck with it all. DD has finally got into the whole packing mullarky, which is a massive relief as she was really dragging her heels. She's started getting rid of stuff she doesn't want, and has so far filled up 5 boxes! (her room is still a mess though so there's still loads to do!).

I don't know what to do about something. I figured I'd put it on here and hopefully people can suggest options from an unbiased point of view.
Right.....The debts XOH and I were working on totalled about £38,000. Approximately £30,000 is in XOHs name and £8,000 is in mine. XOH wants me to take out a loan to take some of his debts off of him, to even it up a bit. I was kinda thinking it would be the 'right' thing to do, but now I just don't know. I wouldn't get credit anyway, being as I have credit cards and soon won't own a house. I was wondering about maybe just giving him money towards it every month until it's paid off. But I'm the one who sorts out money and stuff usually, so if it's left with him it'll go on forever. Plus I'm not sure I would trust him to pay off a certain amount each month, so it might be strung out longer than necessary.

I've discussed this with three of my most trusted friends, and they are all in agreement (despite not knowing each other, and despite one of them being friends with XOH since they were at infant school), and say I shouldn't take any of his debt or pay towards it, as he chose to leave. I'm not sure if morally I could do that, but the more I think about it the more sense it makes. We would have been tackling it together if he'd not walked out, but he did - so why should I spend MY time and money on it? But then, it was always 'our' debt - it just ended up mainly in his name as I never used to work full-time until fairly recently, so couldn't get much credit.

I suggested to XOH that he keeps all the debt and tries to get an IVA sorted out, because there's a good chance he'll get one as his debt is so high compared to his wage, but he went absolutely ballistic, and said he wasn't going to be stuck with it while I get off with a measly £8000. I tried pointing out that if he got an IVA it'd be gone in 5 years or so, while I'd still be paying off my £8000 way beyond that, but he wouldn't see it at all. Got really shirty in fact. Can't help but feel that he's cutting off his nose to spite his face.

But....he's made my life more of a struggle than it used to be, so why should I agree to make it even worse?

I've been agonising over it for weeks. Haven't got a clue what to do. Any thoughts anyone?


Right, change of subject needed....I got reversed into by a range rover in the week. Quite a nice dent on my car, so I thought I'd get the drivers insurance company to pay for it to be fixed. I took it in to the garage to be evaluated for the insurance broker on Saturday, and it looks like it's gonna be written off. Mad, coz it's only a little dent really, but it's an old car, and there's quite a bit of rust near the dent so it would take a lot of work apparently. Will find out for sure tomorrow hopefully. To be honest I want a smaller car - now we haven't got a dog I don't really need an estate. But it is such a reliable car though. Oh well, see what the insurance people say tomorrow.

Ok, time to wash up then settle down to watch Thorne

minniepoos_2

I'm still agonising over it. And XOH has been on the phone tonight asking me when I'm gonna take my share of the debt off of him. He wants to get a loan for his share, but won't be able to get it if he can't get rid of what he calls 'my share'. And I know deep down it is my share, but legally do I HAVE to try to take it? Or, because I have DD with me, do I have to take exactly half? My head is a mess - I just don't know what to do. He keeps pushing me for a solution, but I don't know.

And I think I should wait until after I've moved so I know exactly what my outgoings will be first - before I sign up for more repayments. If I do. AAARRRGGGHHHHH

Why is this so hard?????