Neighbours driving me mad!!

elektra-2007

Im wondering what I can do, my neighbours are driving me a little mad!! We used to be friends but fell out over pets(another story), now things are getting worse, they are being delibratly noisy, but not in a way i can complain about just things like banging, slamming cupboard doors, shouting laughing really loud next to the walls,Riddling the fire at 11.30pm and getting coal in (really noisy) when they know we have gone bed around 10.30pm or getting it in at 6am! When we walk up the garden path they stand at the window staring at us. If my lad plays out they stand at the window staring or come in their garden and give him dirty looks till he runs in scared. I put cctv up in my garden because of small things like my lads footballs going missing and i opened up my shed one day to find a mountain of top soil behind the door!! (I cant prove anything) She sent the police to my house because I might be filming her kids! The police were fine when they saw it was only on my garden and said keep it up. I only have 3 neighbours but im at the end so she is my only next door neighbour. The other 2 used to let on but now dont, Ive no idea what she has said but i dont really care. I just want a peaceful life. She tries to out do or copy everything we do. She will buy bigger but the same christmas lights and outdoor kids toys. Today I made a snowman with my lad she already had 2 in her garden, its the first time weve been at home to do it, she came out and built a bigger one!!! If i cut my grass she will do it an hour later if i change my garden furnitrue around so will she!! I know it sounds petty but i just want to be left alone to live in peace. I dont want to be woken up by their noise or thrown dirty looks, stared at when im in the garden, copied with everything i do. Should I just learn to live with it...is it my problem...or would other people be annoyed by this behaviour?

lolababy

Hi it sounds as if you need to have a sit down talk with your neighbour. Maybe you can ask someone to mediate between you .
As for your other neighbours why not invite them for a coffee. They may not be letting on to you because they dont want to upset the other family.

elektra-2007

I was never that friendly with the other neighbours just a quick hello if we crossed paths ect. I dont see them to invite them in, I sent xmas cards. That part really dosent bother me I like living secluded!
As for next door she isnt the type you can talk to as she is very revengfull, im a little scared of them. Ive been trying for about 4 months to ignore but its getting worse. I dont want to react back as its petty and she would complain. She managed to get the last tennant out, and has done in previous places she has lived. Im detimined to stick it out as I like my house. Like i said theres no 1 perticular thing i can accuse or prove it millions of little petty things that are begining to get on my nerves.

chris_n_tj

Thw best you can do is ignore them, but you must realise it will make them worse for a while. Stick it out and they will soon get fed up. Go outside with your kids, dont let them see they are bothering you at all. Make sure you look happy and smile, (even if you dont feel like it) Get in touch with your council you never know there might be complaints from others lodged with them, you wont know until you ask. The laws are out there to help you.
Chris n TJ

[Deleted User]

Sounds like you have a choice here: to retaliate and make things worse, which is fun but probably not constructive, or you can continue to be the bigger person and ignore them. The last thing you want is to give these people power over your lives. If they want to buy garden furniture, great. If they want to move it around, wonderful. There's no reason why you should care though.
I would say that you have a perfect right to protect your property, so maybe alarming the shed or putting a taller fence / brambles on the border would be more secure and keep them from looking in. But it sounds to me like the CCTV might be antagonising them. Maybe it would be worth taking that down (or pretend to and then put it somewhere more discreet ), and just call a truce. They really have no reason to be nice if they think they're being filmed.
I sympathise with the door slamming/hedge growing/bin stealing neighbours, parking in your driveway and throwing their fag ends over the hedge.. but that's just the way some people are. You can't change them, and it's unlikely anyone else can stop them unless they're making an awful lot of noise. So just turn the telly up (a bit!), keep the curtains closed and get on with your own life. And just to mess with their heads, maybe start doing nice things for them, like taking the bin up the driveway, taking post for them or weeding a bit of their garden... worked for me... ish

thorsoak

One potential problem is that if you own the house and sell it, you have to "declare" any problems that you have with neighbours - so for that reason it is better if you can resolve the situation (by ignoring it or coming to an understanding with them) rather than take the problem to the police/council.

But of course, sometimes you just have to do this. Hope you can settle it soon.

ben500

elektra-2007 wrote: »

Im wondering what I can do, my neighbours are driving me a little mad!! We used to be friends but fell out over pets(another story), now things are getting worse, they are being delibratly noisy, but not in a way i can complain about just things like banging, slamming cupboard doors, shouting laughing really loud next to the walls,Riddling the fire at 11.30pm and getting coal in (really noisy) when they know we have gone bed around 10.30pm or getting it in at 6am! When we walk up the garden path they stand at the window staring at us. If my lad plays out they stand at the window staring or come in their garden and give him dirty looks till he runs in scared. I put cctv up in my garden because of small things like my lads footballs going missing and i opened up my shed one day to find a mountain of top soil behind the door!! (I cant prove anything) She sent the police to my house because I might be filming her kids! The police were fine when they saw it was only on my garden and said keep it up. I only have 3 neighbours but im at the end so she is my only next door neighbour. The other 2 used to let on but now dont, Ive no idea what she has said but i dont really care. I just want a peaceful life. She tries to out do or copy everything we do. She will buy bigger but the same christmas lights and outdoor kids toys. Today I made a snowman with my lad she already had 2 in her garden, its the first time weve been at home to do it, she came out and built a bigger one!!! If i cut my grass she will do it an hour later if i change my garden furnitrue around so will she!! I know it sounds petty but i just want to be left alone to live in peace. I dont want to be woken up by their noise or thrown dirty looks, stared at when im in the garden, copied with everything i do. Should I just learn to live with it...is it my problem...or would other people be annoyed by this behaviour?

Sounds like many "normal" households up and down the country from that description.

Nothing really abnormal about those actions at those times, most people with open fires "settle" them before retiring nobody wants to wake up to a house fire even if it is your neighbours whom you don't particularly like. If they rise at six then that is when they are going to need coal to start a fire.

They could be thinking every time they look out their window they see you looking in.

What about the cctv footage did it not reveal the culprits?

Again not an unatural reaction to seeing a cctv camera which you may be under the impression rightly or not is overlooking your property.

Are you both named "Jones" by any chance?

On the face of your post there is clearly history between you and it would appear you both are probably reading more into the normal bangs and clatter of every day life due to your heightened state of sensitivity, as someone said talk is your best option, someone needs to offer an olive branch, you are neighbours and at least for the time being stuck with each other and can choose to live in harmony or fued.

hothothot_3

Sorry but it seems like you are being unreasonable here, it sounds like you have been watching them too much - im tired of the curtain twitchers of this country its becoming a real surveillance state.

comparing snowmen sizes? is this a bit of the keeping up with the Jones mentality going on?

honeyD

Justw anted to say that in our street if someone goes out to mow the lawn, others do too. Theyre either competing or just had a reminder they should do the lawn lol. I dont see it as anything else really, quite funny though at times.

mrcow

Have you got 6 foot fences in your back garden? If not - get some.

elektra-2007

I dont think i explained properley, we have a shared path inbetween our houses. When i pull up in the car they jump upto the window and stand there whilst we walk up the path, then it branches off on to our garden. We just keep our head down now til we get in the garden. I only put up the cctv after a few incidents its in my garden only.
As for doing the fire they never did it this late only since we havnt been talking, in the morning he has taken to doing it early.
Not got 6 ft fence in back garden that is another story, I would like them.
I dont own my own house, it is council, the last tenants were forced out by her behaviour.
Thanks for all your comments. Im gona keep myself to myself.
I just went out with my lad and built a snowman coz ive been promising him for ages... I dont ever try to out do my neighbour, i just get on with it.