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Oldernotwiser

jasmine33 wrote: »

Yes he is being silly and correct again, I do not want to go to the club.

You can't have so little care for your husband as to dismiss his desires as "silly", just because you don't share them.

Why not go a couple of times to show willing; you may be reassured (or even enjoy it) and at least you'll know you've made the attempt.

candygirl

Penny-Pincher!! wrote: »

OP-How do you truly feel about this? Personally, I would be hugely embarrassed if my husband was behaving like this.

Maybe he wants more excitement in his life.

Yea I agree, but he needs to get off the pc and communicate this to his wife.It's the classic mid life crisis scenario:D:D

diable

Its just another middle aged bloke making a total t1t of himself. I am 46 and hope that I never behave like that. Facebook is the spawn of the Devil ;p

jasmine33

Caroline73 wrote: »

Tea at 6pm - sounds quite regimented. Can you be a bit more spontaneous sometimes?

What is normal family life? Normal or usual? It sounds like it's all become a bit routine - no-ones fault, it 's easy to slip into.


hard working who lives for her family are admirable qualities but is there a chance you have slipped into a bit of a rut and he wants a diversion? Facebook is easy to access and it's safe. Chances are your hubby would probably run a mile if the woman tried it on with him, and he'd rather be having the flirtatious banter with you. I'm not saying he's right but maybe he doesn't want a bit of peace all the time?

Yes Caroline 73, tea at 6pm. I can't see a problem in that. Hardly regimented. My hubby works away all day in another town and gets in at 6pm. What time would you give him his meal? I personally wouldn't want to have a meal any later if I was working all day.

So yes, things are a bit routine during the week in that we both work Monday to Friday and have tea at 6pm. I'm afraid I can't change that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Weekends are more laid back and when the girls are at Uni if they aren't home then we usually pay tham a visit. We shop, have meals when we are hungry and generally chill. So just need to work on that diversion..... thankyou.

jasmine33

cobbingstones wrote: »

Hi

You say on your OP that you are Self E, if you are able to why not go traveling? I can't wait till the kids have moved on with their lives, and we get the opportunity to go and really do what we want to! If you have the money and most importantly health please use your good luck to the max. There are so many people out there who would love to escape their lives, but cannot. You I hope have this option?

Good luck and live your lives well.

Thankyou very much for your reply. No we don't have that option just yet. Girls at Uni and though I am SE I don't earn a great amount. I realise you have to make sacrifices when you have a family and hopefully one day we'll be better off financially.

jasmine33

bestpud wrote: »

:rotfl:

OP - you seem to want it all your way and talk about your OH like he's a silly little boy for not seeing your way is the only one!

Lighten up - there is more to living than home and work!

To me it seems he is with younger people because he is desperate to socialise and your dds provided a good starting point for that. It doesn't mean he wouldn't relish a social circle of his own age - just that it's perhaps easier to break into a younger group.

I appreciate your opinion however I don't agree with you saying I want it all my own way. My post was a small insight into our life. We do give and take and I agree there is more to living than home and work. However, right now home and work take up a lot of our time. When he chills on week nights, it's mostly with FB. In the better weather, we garden and go away as often as we can with our caravan.

I realise that he would like me to go out to the pub now and again with him and he knows I wouldn't be drinking too much (because of my medication).

It takes all kinds to make a world and just because I like the quieter things in life, it doesn't mean that I am boring or a stick in the mud!!!

Oldernotwiser

jasmine33 wrote: »

Yes Caroline 73, tea at 6pm. I can't see a problem in that. Hardly regimented. My hubby works away all day in another town and gets in at 6pm. What time would you give him his meal? I personally wouldn't want to have a meal any later if I was working all day.

So yes, things are a bit routine during the week in that we both work Monday to Friday and have tea at 6pm. I'm afraid I can't change that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.

There's obviously nothing wrong with eating this early ( I know that many people do) but what's strange is your comment that you can't change it - why on earth not? It doesn't leave much scope for going out after work for a drink with workmates, going to evening classes or many other types of leisure activity.

I'm afraid that everything that you post seems to emphasise how stuck in your ways you've become and how much of your lifestyle (gardening and caravanning) are better suited to people of an older generation than you are.

The problem seems to me that your husband is trying to be too young for his actual age whilst you are acting too old. Can't you find a meeting point in the middle that's more suited to people in early middle age who now have the freedom to explore all the things they've missed whilst bringing up their family? You only have one life to live.

jasmine33

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

There's obviously nothing wrong with eating this early ( I know that many people do) but what's strange is your comment that you can't change it - why on earth not? It doesn't leave much scope for going out after work for a drink with workmates, going to evening classes or many other types of leisure activity.

I'm afraid that everything that you post seems to emphasise how stuck in your ways you've become and how much of your lifestyle (gardening and caravanning) are better suited to people of an older generation than you are.

The problem seems to me that your husband is trying to be too young for his actual age whilst you are acting too old. Can't you find a meeting point in the middle that's more suited to people in early middle age who now have the freedom to explore all the things they've missed whilst bringing up their family? You only have one life to live.

Neither me or hubby want to change having tea at 6pm. We are both hungry by that time.

Your comment about gardening and caravanning better suited to an older generation is absolute tosh. Both activities are enjoyed by any age and I'm sure if you saw the amount of young families with a caravan these days you would change your mind. Gardening isn't just for Percy Thrower lookalikes either!! Oh dear, you are so blinkered.

However, your last comment is true partially. My husband is trying to be too young for his age but I disagree that I am trying to act too old. How did you arrive at that conclusion?

Mely

Hi Jasmine, i completely agree with you. Both myself and my dh (both 43) love to do our gardening and we are definately not old before our time! What is important is that its a joint hobby, (as with you and your dh), and something we can enjoy doing together Oh and we have also enjoyed caravan (static type) holidays, and we even take our little dog with us, great fun

jasmine33

Mely wrote: »

Hi Jasmine, i completely agree with you. Both myself and my dh (both 43) love to do our gardening and we are definately not old before our time! What is important is that its a joint hobby, (as with you and your dh), and something we can enjoy doing together Oh and we have also enjoyed caravan (static type) holidays, and we even take our little dog with us, great fun

Thanks for that Mely.I like to think I am NOT old before my time.

My husband used to curse getting stuck behind a caravan but not nowadays. We have caravanned for 13 years and really enjoy it. As for gardening, well I have the know how and hubby is good at the brute force jobs,oh and cutting the grass, which is a male thing anyway!

We are hoping to get a rescue dog soon so instead of sitting indoors so much of the time, we'll be out for walkies! Hopefully it will be well behaved because I want to take it to work with me. (I am self employed)