Sashybo's Random Waffles

sashybo

Thanks mac and gilly, it was just so unexpected and don't think it's sunk in yet.

Turns out it was cancer that hadn't been diagnosed and had spread to the liver so was very advanced. The operation just put too much stress on her body.

Spoke to my mum earlier and she sounded okay but think she's still in shock. Will go over to see her tomorrow. Not sure how I feel just now, I think I'm still in shock as well. Was never really close to my aunt but got on well with her when I saw her. She was always kind and was very good to people around her. Just feel sorry for her, my mum, my other aunts, my uncles and my aunt's children especially. I can't imagine losing my mum, just don't know how anyone copes with it.

gilligansyle

I remember having a conversation with a colleague in work who said that if anything happened to either of her parents she'd just go to pieces. I said that strangely enough, although you sobbbed your heart out, somehow you managed, because you have to. She thought I was a hard hearted cow; but somehow you do get through these things. It's worse if its a shock.

Liver cancer is incredibly hard to diagnose apparently.

sashybo

I can understand that gilly - life does go on even when something incredibly painful happens. Losing my grampa was very hard for me as he was the only father figure I really had in my life. I still think about him a lot and miss him but I survived losing him. I know it's still not the same as losing a parent but it gives me an idea of how it would feel.

My aunt dying so quickly and suddenly is scary because my mum is only ten years younger than my aunt was. I know that when I lose my mum it will be so hard but as the oldest child I'll be expected to organise everything and look after my sister and brother, so will have to hold it together.

Lovely morbid thoughts for a Saturday morning, sorry guys.

Going round to see my mum later, will also need to do some shopping and some housework wouldn't go amiss. Really just hibernated yesterday as was feeling down after hearing about my aunt. Was talking to OH about my friend who lost her baby a few months ago as she had the autopsy report back and got teary about that as well.:(

One thing that did cheer me up a bit was speaking to my sister and then speaking to her 2yo twins on the phone. They are speaking in sentences a lot more and one even said my name for the first time on the phone yesterday which was nice. They like "reading" books out loud now - just baby language really with the occasional "NO!" thrown in. :rotfl:

Want to try and enjoy my weekend off work if possible as next one isn't until Christmas.

sashybo

Well, went round to see my mum yesterday afternoon with OH and stayed for dinner. Had a nice time and glad we could keep her company - she is still very calm about it all but keeps saying it's like a bad dream to her. She showed me how to do some basic knitting as well but don't think I've quite got the hang of it and will really need to practice. I was already swearing after doing a tiny bit as kept getting confused. OH says he's keeping out of my way when I'm practising as I have been known to throw things in temper when I can't figure them out. :whistle:

Have agreed to go out Christmas shopping with my mum on Monday as she wants to get out of the house and I still have quite a few presents to get. Did order some DVD's online for my mum and a CD for my oldest nephew last night though. Think I will get some nice Lush things for my mum as well and maybe a gift voucher for a beauty treatment like a facial or something, not sure yet though as will have to research local salons.

Had a moderately lazy day today, went out shopping for cat litter, meat for the cats and some food for us but very very icy now so was sliding about. :eek: Managed to get half price sea bass so will be having that tomorrow night yum yum. :j Did some cleaning and tidying once home, including the cutting up of liver and kidney to freeze for the cats - not my favourite job but it makes OH ill so I have to do it.

OH is making roast chicken tonight but think I will have to bully him into getting started as he's too busy shooting things on the computer just now. :cool:

sashybo

Flipping snow! It's not stopped since early this morning and means I can't go far to do my Christmas shopping as it's falling so heavily. :mad: Wondering whether to go out at all, it's that bad. :mad:

Have done some washing and ironing so far today and really should make a move and get out as don't have a lot of time off work now before Christmas. It looks horrible and cold though and I have a nice warm couch with a nice warm cat lying on my knee.

sashybo

Well I decided to slog out to town as had a cheque to pay into the bank plus the coins I'd bagged up. Luckily the bank was still open but on the verge of closing due to the weather. Bought some cheap wool in the pound shop to practice knitting with as it's right next to the bank.

Had a wee wander round town and bought a couple of things towards Christmas plus a hat for OH. Not sure if it will fit or if he'll like it but can always return it if not.

Most of the shops were closing because of the weather so decided to head home. Having real trouble calling mobile to mobile today as just keep getting a network busy error. :mad: It's stopped snowing now but everyone seems to be panicking and trying to get home at the same time resulting in total gridlock. :eek: Not sure how the buses/trains are running either atm, luckily I can walk to/from town and don't have anywhere I need to be.

Just going to have something to eat and keep warm on the couch with my kitties.

sashybo

Got another cheque through today from one of the survey sites I use so will need to bank that later in the week - not going out today. OH phoned and said it's really freezing and not to go out if I didn't have to. :eek: OH liked the hat I bought for him yesterday but it didn't fit - I always knew he had a big head. Will return it on my way to work tomorrow.

I started to practice my knitting last night but the cheaper wool was too thin for the fat needles I have so used the thicker wool I had. I ordered some thinner glittery knitting needles (:j) from ebay to use with the thinner stuff. Yes, I'm a baby and wanted the new needles cause they're glitter ones. :rotfl: The knitting was a bit of a disaster at first but think it's getting a bit better. Still only doing practice squares though.

Also finally started the heat pad for OH's Gran, have cut out the material but only sewn part of it. Will try and do more of it today.

Did a bit more Christmas shopping and ordered a t-shirt for my brother online. Was quite pleased as got 20% off on a 2 day deal. :T Quite glad I waited to order it as was going to order it last week. Also ordered a couple of books for the twins - "That's not my Dolly" and "That's not my Princess". So cute and fairly indestructible as they're board books with touchy feely bits in them. No idea what else to get them though as they have everything.

Going to have some lunch now.

sashybo

Just remembered I haven't added a picture of my last sock monkey so here he is. He was for a third birthday present.

gilligansyle

sashybo wrote: »

I started to practice my knitting last night but the cheaper wool was too thin for the fat needles I have so used the thicker wool I had. I ordered some thinner glittery knitting needles (:j) from ebay to use with the thinner stuff. Yes, I'm a baby and wanted the new needles cause they're glitter ones. :rotfl: The knitting was a bit of a disaster at first but think it's getting a bit better. Still only doing practice squares though.

You can always sew the practice squares together to make a blanket, even if its only for the cats.

With thin wool, you could try using it double, that can work OK. I used to do it with 2 different colours, interesting effect.

sashybo

Thanks gilly, don't know what I've done but have stuffed up my first practice square so will have to unpick it and start again. :cool: Thanks for the tip about doubling the wool.

Have nearly finished the heat pad for OH's gran and only really have to do the decoration on the front of the fleece cover and decide how to close the cover over the inner pouch. Can either have it fold over and button or attach material like ribbon so it can be tied shut. Will have a look at what I have in the house and also think about what will be easier for OH's gran.

Back to work today and not looking forward to going out in the cold. Need to return the hat that doesn't fit OH on my way to work as well.

Will have to see what shifts I've been rostered for next week as my aunt's funeral is on Monday. Should be okay if I'm rostered to work late but will have to ask for time off/to swap shifts if I'm on an early. Feeling a bit sick at the thought of the funeral tbh.