The Ultimate Incentive to have an amazing 2010.

Dinah93

I think thats a really sweet idea Birdie, but unfortunately I think few people outside the immediate family will see it as an oppertunity rather than an obligation as tbh I don't think that idea would be clear to people, most people get a foreign wedding invitation from someone not in their close family and I'll be honest my first thought is always 'great, they save money by doing it abroad and it either costs me a fortune to go somewhere I'm not fussed on, or I'm the bad guy for not going - ARGH!'

clearmydebts

Dinah93 wrote: »

I think thats a really sweet idea Birdie, but unfortunately I think few people outside the immediate family will see it as an oppertunity rather than an obligation as tbh I don't think that idea would be clear to people, most people get a foreign wedding invitation from someone not in their close family and I'll be honest my first thought is always 'great, they save money by doing it abroad and it either costs me a fortune to go somewhere I'm not fussed on, or I'm the bad guy for not going - ARGH!'

Having had a wedding abroad I disagree. My friends saw it as an opportunity for a last blast before we all started to have babies. And we got 56 people there (invited 60) so they were obviously all up for it!

My friend got married in Spain last September and he invited 100 people and got 90 there. All everyone spoke about all day was how nice it was to get away for a weekend/week and combine a wedding as well.

Myself and OH nearly always have to book a flight home to Ireland for the majority of weddings we go to anyway so I would rather book a flight to the sun We also had people come to our wedding from Australia and the US (6 people). Now that is an effort!

Dinah93

I've had 3 wedding abroad invites for next year so far, how am I supposed to choose between them all, I don't get that much holiday time let alone have the funds to spend and we REALLY want our ideal final holiday before starting a family, is that selfish?! As I see it we can go to Florida (where 2 of the weddings are) when we have kids, but travelling around Japan would be better done without little ones. If its a wedding at somewhere you can travel to for a weekend then fair enough, thats only 1 or 2 days off work and likely to be covered by ryanair.

Tete_en_l'Air

Brilliant idea about putting a surprise in the bag Tink!

clearmydebts

Dinah93 wrote: »

I've had 3 wedding abroad invites for next year so far, how am I supposed to choose between them all, I don't get that much holiday time let alone have the funds to spend and we REALLY want our ideal final holiday before starting a family, is that selfish?! As I see it we can go to Florida (where 2 of the weddings are) when we have kids, but travelling around Japan would be better done without little ones. If its a wedding at somewhere you can travel to for a weekend then fair enough, thats only 1 or 2 days off work and likely to be covered by ryanair.

The thing is - I would never expect anyone to attend a wedding abroad and you shouldn't be made to feel guilty if you don't go. I was very relaxed about our wedding and made sure everyone knew that we didn't mind if they couldn't go. We had the opposite problem though, there were comments from people who weren't invited and wanted to go. But we wanted a maximum of 60 people (our choice) and weren't bullied into having more at it.

Each person is different but I would personally get more excited about getting an invite through the door inviting me abroad rather than a traditional one down the road. I realise that others wouldn't like that at all & that's why we all like different things.

My sister is having a traditional wedding and I have no doubt it is going to be brilliant. She can't wait for it and it is what suits them as a couple, but she still says that our wedding in Spain was the best wedding she was at and she wishes she had a few more weddings abroad to attend!

Dinah93

I'd be chuffed for a weekend wedding nearby ie in Europe because its not such a major undertaking, but I can't go to Florida or Vietnam for a weekend or on the cheap.

clearmydebts

Dinah93 wrote: »

I'd be chuffed for a weekend wedding nearby ie in Europe because its not such a major undertaking, but I can't go to Florida or Vietnam for a weekend or on the cheap.

Yeah, that is quite a distance & money to expect people to go.

The Vietnam one would intrigue me cos I have always wanted to go there but I have no interest in Florida so would find it hard to get motivated for that one. Lol!

Dinah93

The Vietnam one is a guy I went to uni with who now lives there, so for him it is a home wedding, tbf I would consider going if he sounded more certain it would be going ahead!

Mentally I've spent about £600 on ASOS in the last 20mins, I need a MUCH better paying job to keep my habits under control!

I'm considering doing another clearout, trying to get say 30 items of clothes from my wardrobes/drawers and ironing pile and sticking them on ebay.

Birdie85

See I'd love a Florida wedding, but I'd have to go for the Disney thing which would probably put 99% of the guests off!

I'd also love to go to Vietnam and I think a lot of the time we need a reason to go somewhere that's a little off the beaten track so I'd quite like to be invited to a wedding there.

As it stands we're unlikely to get an invite to a wedding abroad as most of our friends who are getting married/ will one day get married once the guy pulls his finger out and asks have wealthy/ generous parents who can pay for the English white wedding.

CMD, I think it's quite funny that you didn't have the problem of people not wanting to come to your wedding but more people wanting to come than you could manage! We've had to politely brush off a request from one couple because they're friends with OH's friend's parents who are coming (well, I'm not sure now as they're the parents of the brothers who may not be coming!) and as nice as the woman is I don't want her partner within 1000 miles of us on our wedding day as he drives me mad! I could think of nothing worse than bumping into him all week on a smallish resort!

I think that for every person who loves the idea of going somewhere they wouldn't normally think of going for a wedding there is another who just wishes they could stay at home!

Swinstie73

I think the problem with invites to weddings abroad (only every been to one and it was my sister's in Canada - I was 14) is if people were just upfront from the start as to whether they can make it. Most people must know whether they can afford it or not, if I got an invite to one abroad and it was somewhere I would visit anyway (and hadn't any other plans), I'd go if I could afford it, if not then would just say so.

The only home weddings I've been to recently were great but they were second cousins who I hardly see. Immediate family/close friends and no kids/pets allowed at mines, joking :rotfl::rotfl: