Eager Elephant's Effective Everyday Excursion ...

enthusiasticsaver

I think it is a good thing to have a complete financial split from STBEX and now leave him to it re arranging payment for stuff. If he doesn't have the money he doesn't buy it. Steer him to freecycle instead. I think in the circumstances I would be tempted to close down all but one credit card and reset online access security just in case he is able to access it. Same goes for your bank account.

HairyHandofDartmoor

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

I think it is a good thing to have a complete financial split from STBEX and now leave him to it re arranging payment for stuff. If he doesn't have the money he doesn't buy it. Steer him to freecycle instead. I think in the circumstances I would be tempted to close down all but one credit card and reset online access security just in case he is able to access it. Same goes for your bank account.

I agree 100%

HairyHandofDartmoor

Seasidegal58 wrote: »

Hi EE - just caught up with your goings on.

All sounding ok on the split front - apart from the money and parcels that arrived - but now he's ensconced in his own place that will stop now. It's good to stay friends but do remember to treat him as a friend now - you're not responsible for him anymore - you can give advice to him, but as we know he's going to get himself into a monetary pickle without you, only give advice - don't feel sorry for him and bail him out in any form whatsoever!!!!:eek:

Have a good day EE.

I agree with this too!

beanielou

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

I think it is a good thing to have a complete financial split from STBEX and now leave him to it re arranging payment for stuff. If he doesn't have the money he doesn't buy it. Steer him to freecycle instead. I think in the circumstances I would be tempted to close down all but one credit card and reset online access security just in case he is able to access it. Same goes for your bank account.

& it's a yes from me

Eager_Elephant

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

..
PLEASE tell me YOU'RE not going to do his washing?

I mean, maybe you're just joking, but he must surely have worked out that he has SOME responsibility for domestic chores, even when at home?
I'd make sure I had clean crockery and cutlery set aside for myself, and let him fend for himself if he hasn't.

Of course I am - I have done most of it now, too be honest its not too big a job - 2 loads and it was pretty much done and it dried while I was at work.

I am not joking about the plates and cutlery, I reduced the amount we had a few years ago for this very reason. Often I would call the kids for tea and tell them they had nothing to eat from so they would then bring down plates and wash them quickly so I could dish up.
There is always cups and plates for me.

Seasidegal58 wrote: »

- you can give advice to him, but as we know he's going to get himself into a monetary pickle without you, only give advice - don't feel sorry for him and bail him out in any form whatsoever!!!!:eek:
.

I have no intentions of bailing him out at all, if it gets to the point where he cant afford to feed DD then she will come to me although too be fair on the days she is with him they have all their meals at school so I know she wont starve.
I'm waiting to see what happens when the bills start coming in.

Eager_Elephant

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

I think it is a good thing to have a complete financial split from STBEX and now leave him to it re arranging payment for stuff. If he doesn't have the money he doesn't buy it. Steer him to freecycle instead. I think in the circumstances I would be tempted to close down all but one credit card and reset online access security just in case he is able to access it. Same goes for your bank account.

He knows all about Freecycle but unfortunately he has always liked spending and this has given him the perfect opportunity.
I only have 2 credit cards and there is no way he would be able to access my accounts but I will take on board what you are all saying and get the passwords changed.

Eager_Elephant

Things still going well - mowed the lawn today, first time ever in my life!!! Took hours as it is so massive and hasn't been cut for 8 weeks.

Saw STBEXH mid week although I only went to his to see DD, I spoke to her last weekend about not seeing her in the week and just getting her from school on Friday but she said she would like to see me so I agreed to pop round Wednesday to see her, she likes to fill me in with everything that has gone on at school.
I will just play it by ear and see what DD wants, I have to remember that we are only on week 2 and it is all a bit new for her. I am hoping that soon she will be ok with me not visiting mid week.

He has also popped round tonight to help with load the large water container on to the truck.

Nearly forgot my mid-week crisis, a mouse/rat chewed through the mains water pipe in the house so I had a flooded kitchen and no way to stop the water as couldn't find stop !!!! and once located it didn't stop my water when turned off!!! I was worried they would have to dig my kitchen up as the hole in the pipe was right where it goes into the concrete floor, luckily some contractors came and dug up my back path and found the pipe and have rejigged things and I now have a stop !!!! outside by backdoor and not shared with the neighbours.
Thank god I am still renting at the moment.

Have rat/mouse trap but the blighter has not gone for the bait yet so I have a mouse/rat in my house somewhere!

beanielou

Hopefully all will sort itself out in time

HairyHandofDartmoor

Eager_Elephant wrote: »

Things still going well - mowed the lawn today, first time ever in my life!!! Took hours as it is so massive and hasn't been cut for 8 weeks.

Saw STBEXH mid week although I only went to his to see DD, I spoke to her last weekend about not seeing her in the week and just getting her from school on Friday but she said she would like to see me so I agreed to pop round Wednesday to see her, she likes to fill me in with everything that has gone on at school.
I will just play it by ear and see what DD wants, I have to remember that we are only on week 2 and it is all a bit new for her. I am hoping that soon she will be ok with me not visiting mid week.

He has also popped round tonight to help with load the large water container on to the truck.

Nearly forgot my mid-week crisis, a mouse/rat chewed through the mains water pipe in the house so I had a flooded kitchen and no way to stop the water as couldn't find stop !!!! and once located it didn't stop my water when turned off!!! I was worried they would have to dig my kitchen up as the hole in the pipe was right where it goes into the concrete floor, luckily some contractors came and dug up my back path and found the pipe and have rejigged things and I now have a stop !!!! outside by backdoor and not shared with the neighbours.
Thank god I am still renting at the moment.

Have rat/mouse trap but the blighter has not gone for the bait yet so I have a mouse/rat in my house somewhere!

Glad things are going well so far. Hope you catch the sharp toothed rodent soon :eek:.

Sun_Addict

On the crockery/cutlery front DD has separate ones from us because she harbours them in her room and when she eventually brings them down the state they're I wouldn't want to eat off them even after a boil wash in the dishwasher.

Hope you catch the rat/mouse soon