Eager Elephant's Effective Everyday Excursion ...

HairyHandofDartmoor · 15 July 2018 at 10:49PM

I agree that bailing out STBEX won't help him learn to manage his money. If he can't pay his bills it will be his own fault and it is the only way he will learn not to overspend. As long as you bail him out he will keep being a spendthrift.

Sorry about the kitten

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Eager_Elephant · 16 July 2018 at 7:00AM

Thanks ladies for having my back but my shorter post didn't explain very well - the savings were his and not mine (It was definitely in the longer post which disappeared)

STBEXH had some savings in an ISA which he doesn't know the details for but I did as they were written in the 'book of passwords' so I moved his own money into his bill account.

I will NOT ever be bailing him out - he needs to learn some money management and realise he can't have everything he wants all of the time.

I would never let DD go without and when I pop round to see her I check the kitchen to make sure there is food for her, if there isn't she can come to mine as she broke up from school over a week ago so I don't have to worry about her going to school although that does mean she doesn't get 3 meals a day cooked for her.

Chrystal · 16 July 2018 at 11:58AM

Eager_Elephant wrote: »

STBEXH being a nightmare, spending like he has no commitments, was overdrawn by 4th of the month and had to move some money in from savings. More DD's came out last week and bounced and he was in a right panic - |I went round and sorted him a budget which he said he would do but didnt. He has opened some new bank accounts and will move his income and outgoings across and will have a bill account as well as spending account.

I had to move some money from savings back to him so he can cover the DD's which will be taken this coming week - I am annoyed as he said I could have that money to pay for the furniture which went on my credit card.
I'm hoping that once he sticks to the budget he will have some spare moneyand can pay me back.

Sorry EE I thought you were stuck with debt on your CC for his furniture and you'd then had to take money from your savings. The nuance can often get lost in the written word.... especially when we're !!!!!! off!

rotfl:

Sun_Addict · 5 August 2018 at 7:53AM

Just checking in EE - hope all is ok xx

Eager_Elephant · 5 August 2018 at 10:47AM

I am here and reading other threads but avoiding my own!!!

Not sure why I don't post much apart from STBEXH knows my name on here and I worry he might read it, although too be honest I doubt it.

Plus I have this stupid idea in my head that YNAB needs to be up to date so I know where things stand before I can post updates on here but of course it is never up to date and so I never post - go get a grip EE!!!

Anyway last week I deleted my YNAB accounts and have started again - I will finally admit to not having enough money to do everything I want to do and to be able to pay the bills/save and have spends and pay off the debt.

So for now I have stopped the savings to all my pots like car insurance, car repairs etc and I think I need to start trying to earn money from ebay to cover all these sorts of things otherwise next year they are going to end up on the credit card.

I dont mind being skint as I was skint before but subsidised STBEXH, now i am skint but happily living on my own and its only me that I need to think about.

Need to check my YNAB today and update and then see what I can put in savings or whether I should pay any potential savings off the credit card to reduce that balance due to the interest charged and then use it again for car insurance etc next year??

Decisions, decisions....

I feel better now I have offloaded rather than just not posting