A clean fresh year just there for the taking!!

Sea78

Thanks

I've worked out exactly what should be going out so on payday (end of month) I will start writing down all that I spend and on exactly what - so I can get an idea of whther its little bits or presents or petrol etc. Should help a lot I think.

Also things like going to my mums - in theory shouldn't cost much, but petrol costs and then it's those things I don't factor in that I just spend on, so must watch that!!

xxx

Sea78

Well, another day at work done. Open eve tonight so was at work from 8.30 til 9 but it's not like it's every day so can't complain.

Back feeling really low. Seem to have managed to offend quite a few people today without meaning to in the slightest - one was an ex student who I was concerned about. Just at the point now where I wonder what the point of my job is - to the extent that I became a teacher for very well meaning reasons and slowly each of those is completely eroded and becomes pointless. Now it seems my only job is to impart some information, hit some targets and that's it. Soul destroying.

I have an eye out for jobs, but nothing round here. Or in the wider area, that would be feasible considering the children and their school. So stuck in a job I no longer see the point in, obviously full of self pity tonight, just needed to get it out I guess. I can't see things improving, I do try to see the positive and bring in little things that I think are going to improve the situation but then one by one, they just get trampled on.

Grrrr.

Hopefully sleep will improve things and tomorrow will be a better day.

Been saying that a lot.

Hope all are well.
xx

hypno06

big ((hugs)) to you sea x

taxi73

Also sending bug hugs xxxxxx

Seaxwyn

And hugs from me too. It's easy to feel down and focus on the negatives and disappointments but I bet you are doing a very good job as a teacher. I share your feelings as often my job, in a charity, feels totally pointless too.

Sea78

Thanks you three- it was a difficult day yesterday - and at the moment, I seem to be having these wildly low days.

Sophia really cheered me up tonight. They are allowed to wear something spotty tomorrow for Children in Need and have to take a pound in. Will is taking his spotty teddy and Sophia wanted to go shopping for something. I refused. So instead she's decorated (with my help lol) an old white t-shirt with big red spots and drawn a little pudsey bear in the middle - bless! They don't mind that they are both taking their money in in coppers - have no change and have a bit of money bagged up ready for banking, so they can take their money like that

Sat next to me on the chair are three baskets of books to be marked - eeek. Got to get the kids in bed and then get cracking. Already marked 3 sets of books today (yay!) so just these 3 as I'm going away this weekend and can't be sure I'll be able to do them Sunday night, and will probably have another set or two from tomorrow for then anyway.

Felt a bit better after work as didn't talk to anyone I didn't need to and just did my job. The extras are out - don't have any spare reserves for that!

xxx

Sea78

Got 1 set of books and 1 set of assessment papers marked and I'm pooped!!

Been thinking about how to avoid those lows happening so much as when I'm in one, I really can't see out of it. So this weekend while I'm away I'm going to have a think about some goals and challenges to set myself and hopefully that'll give me a focus, even when I'm feeling down. Will post them on here when I get back so then I have a record and can assess my progress.

Sea xxx

hypno06

This journey is all about acknowledging and adjusting....and you are definitely acknowledging things, so that is good. If you are able to use some of the time away at the weekend to work out how to adjust to get yourself on the line you want to be on, then I am sure that will be a very good use of time.

Hope your two enjoy CiN day.

x

taxi73

have a good weekend away.

beanielou

Happy weekend