little_h's big dreams :)

museumworker

Just wanted to say hello, I have read your diary from beginning to end and really enjoyed it, especially your honesty. It sounds like you are on a journey and I for one would love to know where it takes you! Will subscribe.

Have you got any further with the lodger idea? I was thinking that for quite a few pages before I saw you mention it. You can earn about £4.5K pa tax free under the rent a room scheme I believe, so could potentially let more than one!

p.s. sorry to hear about your grandmother, mine died several years ago and my biggest regret was that I never got to know her very well.

little_h_2

evening all

thanks for your post museumworker :j I am still thinking about the lodger, whether the compromise on having my own space is worth it.

I saw today that a beautiful little cottage which I looked round a while ago has come back on the market. I drove past it on the way to Saturday's wedding and saw no board so assumed it had been sold, but was on rightmove today and there it was. The people selling were just lovely and they seemed quite hopeful I would get the house (kindred dog lovers although I guess you never really know if it's a ploy!), it had a wonderful feel to it. Linky is here if you would like to see!

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-32778545.html

I'm not sure why they haven't put a picture from the front up but there we are.

Took ages to get to sleep last night so have had a tiring day today. But, bizarrely, I have got so much done I am amazed. Did lots of tidying up/ crappy little jobs I have been putting off at work for ages.

I got home and decided the hoover finally had to come out, and I mopped the kitchen floor as well. Pretty pointless given that the pooch is back tomorrow (being delivered to me - hurrah for stamping my size 3s!!!) and will dribble all over the kitchen floor while waiting for his dinner/biscuit and will moult all over the carpet :j but I do love him to bits so I don't mind :rotfl:

I have also done another Davina session tonight - and managed one yesterday to help stretch out after Saturday and will use it again. As a result of the trip to the osteopath I am much more aware of what is tight and what is sore etc. I am really assessing this very carefully because I could end up with some major problems if I don't sort things soon

Head wise, things feel bizarrely calm. I feel able to not sweat the small stuff which is a massive change. To quote Little Boots I am wary of false positives but for now it feels good. A change of approach is definitely required. The engineering phrase of "If you keep on doing what you always did, you will keep on getting what you always got" rattles round my head on a regular basis at the moment!

I have totted up my debts tonight and even with the extra BT I am still under £30k. Things feel relatively in control and I am much more relaxed about them. I worked out what my house situation is again, and as I am another few months down the line, I have paid more off the debt and more off the mortgage so would be in a better position now if I sold. Although there have also been some big drops in prices on houses that haven't shifted yet....

I have made plans to do some plumbing with my dad over the easter weekend - will have a think about the house/lodger thing before then. If I stay, I will put a shower where my downstairs loo is so a lodger can use that. If I go, I will just replace the loo and put some kitchen units where the old shower was to make a better utility area. The second option will be cheaper and quicker.

I am looking forward to a lovely quiet weekend. My first truly spare one in ages. I want to rest up a bit and also make the most of the time so will be planning a bit of a spring clean and hopefully finally get round to the wardrobe blitz....:eek:

edit - weight loss is now up to a massive 5lbs! I am thrilled! Knew it would come off when the time was right

Shoe_Gal

Well done on the weightloss - and love the cottage :j

hypno06

I have to say that your recent posts do really show that you are starting to think from a slightly different angle.

You will come to the right conclusions with everything....just let the ideas flow, and be honest with yourself.....and don't be surprised if the answers are not what you might have expected. Don't fight it, embrace it!

Have a good week, and look after yourself x

little_h_2

thanks I am certainly feeling different about lots of things.

Had another busy morning at work and tonight will be a busy one as I have a harp lesson. It's later than normal so I am going to my mum and dad's for my tea, as they live a couple of miles away.

Am very grateful for my 2 work from home days coming up :rotfl: although I am back at the osteopath tomorrow which will not be very nice.

Davina's 30 min Cardio Box workout last night seems to have really freed up all the tense shoulders/arms from the weekend, although did some lifting at work yesterday as part of my tidying up and my elbow (which was given major attention by the osteopath :eek: except my face was probably green rather than blue) is sore today. It was worth it to have looser shoulders though

choogirl

Hi little_h

Hope you and your family are ok.

I had a quick nosy at the cottage and it looks lovely, very cosy. I'm sure you will make the right decision.
Take care xx

LittleBoots

Woohoo on the weightloss . Had a look at the cottage and it does look lovely

little_h_2

thank you

been to my mum's for tea tonight, was nice to catch up with her as i haven't seen her since last week's events. Dad's train was late so I missed seeing him, but will see him at the weekend as he is coming to mow the lawn/drink Gold blend/eat ginger biccies (standard payment terms for Dad's Property Maintenance Services)

sounds silly but I had been wanting a bookmark for ages for a book I am reading which is going to take all year (not because I'm slow, but it is part of the book!). I wasn't sure where to go to get a nice one, but mum offered me one she was going to give to granny. It is really beautiful so I feel very pleased. Maybe there is some truth in this asking the universe business, even if it was subconsciously asking!

In which case, I had better start thinking very positive thoughts about the cottage! I think I would really like living there, and I have decided that to get some semblance of a life back, and do the things I love, I need to spend less on where I live. I have tried, and while I haven't failed at keeping the house on, I have failed at 2 live in relationships here and now I am feeling the need to move. (even if I don't really want the upheaval - I do know it will be worth it)

I am also starting to make the mental shift towards being a long term single girly. Rather than just hoping someone nice comes along at the right time. This is a good step

I have thought lots about the harp, and talked lots to my teacher about it during my lesson. She has said the level of tension is more likely down to all the recent life events, but manifests itself physically sometimes. And that I shouldn't blame the harp which I haven't been really, but have been worrying about the long term effects as you know. Having recovered from a serious ankle injury (rock climbing, or rather falling!) and a serious hand injury (racing), I know that psychological approach is as important as the physical stuff, so I feel reassured that I will recover from this too.

my playing at weddings is to help with the debts and the costs of the house. If I didn't have to worry so much about these, I would maybe feel less obliged to fill every available hour with harp stuff. I would also be able to do some more racing without being petrified of crashing in case I have to cancel on someone! Crashing is part of racing really :rotfl:

I have made the decision to invest £50 of my harp income in a race licence for this year. This is so that I can keep my current grade of licence (which I think I lose if I havent renewed it within 3 years), and will also help me feel that I can if I want to towards the end of the year, if some changes occur on the house front It is a massive hole in my life and I desperately want to do it again, especially if I am going to be single for a while and don't have any big big scary commitments

burntfingers_2

Well I am here.:) ..I finally made it ...:j:j having just read the final last pages of your diary I am more in awe than I was before.

Condolensces on your sad loss, I am sure that your granny will be looking down on you with such pride.

Just reading your diary you have been through so much yet still manage to come on here and support other peeps as well. :A You have managed to keep your house, you changed jobs not once but twice - back with the company that you love and working from home for 2 days. yayyyyy!!! ...You have gone through a divorce, a relationship breakdown and all the fall out from that, then you teach harp, do brownies and then play at various wedding/charity/church events....plus do davina and have shared care of your beloved dog ...............phew I am whacked just reading it all....but WELL DONE and huge big pat on the back for you. :T

I Know I have condensed everything down in a few short lines and know that this does not truly reflect what you have gone through physically and emotionally. You are truly one helluva special lady :A. I hope that all your problems will be small ones and that the future brings you much happiness if anyone deserves it then you surely do.....

hugs bf xx

Wordsmith

I second what Burntfingers says. And I think she condensed your diary rather well!

Sounds like you have made some positive decisions, Little_h. You sound much more comfortable about thinking about moving than you did before, so that probably means that then wasn't the right time and now is. Your reasoning is also sound. So, if the cottage is right for you ... it will be yours. If it's not, then something better will make itself apparent.

You really do manage to fit so much into your life - I wish I was half as productive (and talented, and brave).

Oh, and really embrace being single. It has many advantages! There are some disadvantages, but then there are disadvantages to having an OH, too. That doesn't mean that someone nice won't come along ... when the time is right.