Buffy Cracks the Egg Diary 2010

Pippajo

I still think you should go to the Dr's. DH has good days and bad days, but nothing like they were.

Sorry to hear your mum is not well, you worry now but if you let this all carry on will you really go to America? You have to follow your dreams.

x

urg123

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

Thanks Pippajo xxx

I am feeling really down today. I think its cos I am due on. Felt miserable all day. really just sad, lonely and lost
Came home to learn Mum has her heart problem back, she is on lots of tablets and the doctor wants to check her out again next week.

Between the car,the bin(don't ask) the heating and no hot water Mum has been really stressed, ANY change in routine she just gets so anxious. And cos she is on her own all day with her thoughts it just gets worse.

I am overdrawn(£43) but get paid Friday. THis weekend I must get to grips with stuff.

xxxx

Hi Buffy

So sorry to hear about your mum - it's such a worry for you and her. Don't feel so bad that you feel down - sometimes we have to accept that's how we feel.

Re being OD - will you be charged for that?

Take care of you (and your mum)

urg x x

beanielou

Huggles hun xxx

Buffythedebtslayer

I am just so angry. I can't seem to help it. I know it is partly time of the month. but I can't even watch the !!!!ing tv programmes I like. she hates politics.I don't. And every single bloody thing just leads to her freaking and me trying (and failing) not to be frustrated.

I wanted to come home tonight, sit upstairs, watch a charmed DVD andmark the ten books I carried home. She was watching something on tv when I came in and immediately stopped it to find something we can both watch, I said it was ok I didn't want to but then it comes down to we have to watch stuff to have space on sky plus.

Oh for !!!! sake listen to me complaining about having to watch stuff on sky plus.sucha hard life ..............not.

get a !!!!ing grip.

Apologies everyone hopefully it is just time of the month making into !!!!! of the year.

Buffythedebtslayer

OMG, just watched the partypolitical broadcast by the Labour party, talk about scare tactics, they have gone in hard, got nothing to lose after the "bigot gaffe"

wow tomorrow night could actually be interesting!!

Pippajo

I couldnt believe it when I heard the footage on the Radio - mind you how many times have we all been overheard muttering about someone :rotfl::rotfl:

You really are going to have to look seriously abut how you deal with your mum, guilt or no guilt, maybe the slightest change over a few days can build up into something bigger? Maybe you could start by saying you can't watch TV until you have your few books marked, then over a few days stay a bit longer in your room with a dvd or music on, gradually Mum will get engrossed in what she is watching. Could be worth a try!

ziggles50

Hi Buffy
Be gentle on yourself. I know you don't want to upset your mum what with everything going on with her health etc., but you need to try and be as 'normal' as possible. I know when my mum was ill she just wanted to have a normal life, fights and everything even though she couldn't even get out of bed (so she'd get all fractious if i wasn't taking her on in my usual way!) I think also that way maybe you can then set your boundaries with her and that will help you get on with your life while still being able to be there for her. baby steps though...change ican be very hard.
Good luck!:)

makeup

Could you help your mum find something to do during the day that occupies her so you don't feel so bound to be her entertainment?

My Mum has joined the University of the Third Age. From what I can gather they have local groups and arrange things based on shared interests. My mum has put her name down for the choir, is doing a group learning German and joins in on the 'Bus pass walks' (they basically go somewhere on their bus passes and then go for a walk ending in a pub for a nice lunch).

They have all sorts of things (including talks etc) and your mum could do things as and when she chooses.

Having friends outside of the home would make a big difference I'm sure.

gwen80

I was going to post exactly what makeup has written. My Mum does dancing, walking and meets up with friends for coffees, lunches and days out. I've suggested University of the Third Age to her, but she can't fit it in at the moment :rotfl: If your Mum's not so confident about going out and meeting new people, maybe over the summer holidays you could go with her once a week to something just to get her started? My Mum wasn't confident at all at first, but I went to a dance class with her for a couple of months and she just kept going and picked up new interests aswell. It might give both of you a better quality of life

Take care

Gwenx

Buffythedebtslayer

Thanks guys xxx Feel like a bit of an idiot now!

The thing is (and I am sorry for diary readers who have read this before!) she had a great social life at our old house did lots and was literally out everynight, but since moving here(6years?) it all stopped, my folks went on holidays and did stuff together but then everything happened with Dad and to be honest I can understand why she doesn't do as much as she used to. Looking after Dad took a lot out of her and she has been ill. She does go out with our neighbour every so often. Two of her good friends have very sick husbands and have moved further out to stay with family, them and Mum were the core group - they e mail a lot but obviously its hardly the same. Once I can drive I shall visit family with her and do more stuff like visiting museums and going out for lunch.
I was just in a !!!!!! mood yesterday, pictures all over facebook of my friend's new houses and babies and even a former student of my mine has a baby and a house. I am fine when I don't compare myself to others!! plus I am due on and that is never a good thing.

Its like Shoegal said a while ago, I just have to make the decision to be happy with my lot. It will change eventually. just not this week!!

today my boss wasn't in - VERY happy Buffy!!!! plus tutoring which was lovely, and I got paid from my second job today as well.

And my skin has cleared up in time for the party tomorrow night, so although I had a (election rated) row with my friend this morning and I am still feeling pretty rotten it is friday tomorrow and that does mean the WEEKEND.

Thank you for your replies, you thinking of me means alot

xxxxx