Day 1... where will it lead

Eager_Elephant

Oh LL, I'm so sorry things are not as good as they could be.

Men are very funny creatures and seem to need an extra bit of fun in their lives no matter how good their life is!!!

I think it is good that you have seen him for what he is now rather than another 11 years down the line when it might be too late to have children.

You can be strong and you will get through this - have you got another friend who you can text and meet up with?

Would you consider online dating? not sure if you know Ben Ben but she had had a go at this and her storys about what happened are excellent and even if matters went no further she did have some fun.

Failing that could you join a group/club about something you enjoy so at least you know if you meet someone there you have one thing in common?

((LL))

LexieLou

Oh Ziggles....you are a wee gem. You made me laugh and you are right, all of you are right.

I'm watching the Royal Variety Performance and I have to admit I am watching it purely for Peter Kay and also to see Catherine (Kate) Middleton...spot the royal fan!!

Me xx

LexieLou

Eager_Elephant, welcome to my diary ( it was written as Dairy a few minutes ago)

I have to point out that while I have a wee notion of Mr Married Man, I have had lots of boyfriends and a few very serious relationships, one especially but that's another story, so meeting people isn't a problem and at the minute I have too much going on in my life to want a man. This is the mental part of it, I can't be bothered to date anyone, I have fabulous friends, a mental job and a gorgeous daughter oh and a family that make the Osbournes look normal.

It's the fact that he's the one I text when something happens that we both have an interest in, or I meet someone that we both know....I read through all texts today I sent to him over the past few months and they are pure garbage, just rubbish, escapism for him.

So now that they are all deleted I actually feel good and it's cathartic to write all this down, probably for the first time ever. Never mind wanting to be debt free, I'm aiming to be a proper free spirit. Did I tell you all that when my wee pooch goes to Uni /College in Sept 2013 I'm planning to get on an aeroplane and fly far, far away. I have an idea where I want to go too and what to do and unless Mr Right rocks up and railroads my plans with a HUGE diamond, massive bank balance and good quality sperm I'm away.

In the mean time I'm away to bed and I can't believe I've just watched the Royal Varierty Performance, missed Il Divo on it, and Kate Middleton hasn't even attended!! You can all tell I didn't watch it from the start nor have I paid much attention to it over the last hour either!!

Night.

LL xx

ziggles50

:pOf course i'm right- i'm always right (except when i'm wrong) about boys!
Wish i could take my own advice though.
As for flying far far away! Wow! Have you always wanted to do this? I envy such plans- i am risk averse and prefer things to be at least 75% predictable for the big stuff- unlesss i'm in a funny place then I am the RISKIEST thing in a 50 mile radius and i don't even regret stuff:eek:. Then i come to my senses and carry on :cool:
Glad you're better with deleting stuff- probably beter to delete him out of our life. I find this a great plan until i'm bored (i have even found myself trawling through old phone bills for numbers!:o- shameful)

LexieLou

ziggles50 wrote: »

As for flying far far away! Wow! Have you always wanted to do this? I envy such plans- i am risk averse and prefer things to be at least 75% predictable for the big stuff- unlesss i'm in a funny place then I am the RISKIEST thing in a 50 mile radius and i don't even regret stuff:eek:. Then i come to my senses and carry on :cool:

Erm, I used to be a bit like that too, but when you get up to your neck in debt and loose your job, living like a gypsy would appeal to me. When you have nothing, no sense of self worth, as you have no job, and no sense of ambition as you have a burden of debt on your shoulders, everything was sort of put in perspective for me. Perspective for me, not necessarily what everyone else believes is right for them.

I used to have a job where i jetted off around the world and lived out of a suitcase. If you've ever seen 'Up In The Air' with George Clooney it makes sense, the only person you can depend on for your happiness is you and leaving all this behind me for a while is something I am really looking forward too.

LexieLou

ziggles50 wrote: »

Glad you're better with deleting stuff- probably beter to delete him out of our life. I find this a great plan until i'm bored (i have even found myself trawling through old phone bills for numbers!:o- shameful)

I am so glad you said about trawling through phone bills for numbers...you have made me laugh out loud, so true and so right. Still want to ring the wee brats neck, but that feeling may pass with more Chocolate and Coca~Cola :rotfl:

Lemon_Tree

LexieLou wrote: »

Later Mrs LT, and thanks for being a mate. xx

any time my friend.
I never thought i would be debt free (well hopefully next i will be) and i NEVER thought i would get married and i've now been married for 3 years. If it happened for me it's certainly more likely to happen for you! and you're darn right you were too good for him!

LexieLou

Do you know I have been at this diary for nearly 2 years...that's a celebration. Especially as this relationship has lasted as long as the longest relationship I've ever had with any man. Maybe MSE is my perfect man? Yeah, you're right, it's not.

Now do I go out and celebrate the fact that I have made a conscious effort to get rid of debt, I could have got rid of more if I hadn't had to keep dipping into my wee extra Credit Card repayment pots when things got tight, but I have made all payments to CC's on time and I am slowly fighting the battle with the demon debt.

I think I shall have a wee celebration with a few mates over Christmas.

I was listening to the radio the other day and the presenter was telling the story about this girl in the USA who was mega skint. The girl decided the only way to save money was to be taken out on dinner dates a few nights a week. So she signed up to a dating agency and then dated various men 5 nights a week and managed to save $600 USD per month on food bills. MSE or what?? I thought it was brilliant. Very shallow of the girl, but very MSE.

OK I'm off to get the Christmas Tree down ( I do so hate Christmas, all that fuss etc for 2 days)

Me xxxx

LexieLou

Lemon_Tree wrote: »

any time my friend.
I never thought i would be debt free (well hopefully next i will be) and i NEVER thought i would get married and i've now been married for 3 years. If it happened for me it's certainly more likely to happen for you! and you're darn right you were too good for him!

I didn't know that about you, that's lovely. How did you both meet? I love a good soppy romance story, very sad but I am the Danielle Steele fan.

And thanks for reminding me that I am too good for him and thank you for just being you, the fabulous Mrs LT xx

LexieLou

Well I did a 'Ziggles' only rather than the phone bills, I googled my most cherished Ex. I need to get a grip.

Except rather than find out he is madly happily inlove etc, I found out his folks passed away within months of each other. Shiiiittttt. Feel really bad for him as he is an only child, granted he's an adult in his mid forties, but still and all. This mum did early 2009 and his dad about 6 months later. So what do you do? It's a bit late to send a condolence card and not right to write it in a Christmas Card, but it's still not sitting well with me that I can't acknowledge it.

He was close to his mum, not so much his dad. He used to tell his mum I knew 'a thing or two about knickers' ( I used to work for a lingerie company) That comment used to make me laugh as I always imagined his mum to be a very proper lady and a comment like that would make her inwardly giggle and outwardly frown. :rotfl:

So now I am feeling like a stalker....thanks Ziggles for planting that seed :rotfl:

Someone tell me what to do....please? I think, well I imagine he is still with the lady he was dating a few years ago ( do you dump your partners in your mid forties?) So I genuinely don't want to come across as a nutter, we all know differently, but in the real world I am still showing the perception that I am perfectly balanced.

So that's my news for today, still want to make Mr Married Man ( MMM) suffer beyond all levels of suffering that can be inflicted, but I also think I am coming to terms with my decision more. It has only been a few days I know. I'll know for definite if he has any feelings if I have heard from him by Christmas Eve. As yet I haven't contacted him since this day last week and I am not budging either. So as far as he is concerned all is still OK. Boys!!

OK, off to bed and then back to work tomorrow.

Night all,

LL xx