Day 1... where will it lead

LexieLou

ziggles50 wrote: »

Knitting?
Well maybe it'll keep me off t'internet too.
I can only do the basic one- purl i think.- what can you knit with that- besides a scarf?
Hope you guys are well.
I'm moving again on Sunday- crazy landlady got too much- and is getting worse surprisingly!

Zx

Yo Z,

That's all you need knit one purl one, you'd be amazed what you can do with those two stitches.

I'm using up wool that's lying around and finishing projects, plus a few friends are having babies so it's a good excuse to keep up with it, as I'll need items for presents soon.

Crazy landlady....nightmare. I had a mental landlord once, used to use our bath and everything....dirty hallion.

Right off to hang up the washing.

Me xx

LexieLou

Nothing to tell,

all very boring, walking every night as I have a dress to fit into for this day next week....starvation might work better.

Chat later.

LL xx

Lemon_Tree

hope you fit into that dress.
i think i would fall into paypal's rules for releasing payments as i haven't sold anything for a good 3 years, yet another reason to put me off listing things on ebay.
i seem to have a run on knitting projects at the moment, and i've just received a commission from someone at work to knit something for her.

LexieLou

Oh Lemon Tree, a commission, how amazing.

I haven't been on here for ages, so naughty of me but I have been flat out working.

Off to bed now.

night all.

LL xx

LexieLou

OMG I would love to kick the rear end of the tramp that has just called me from a CC....oh she has made me really, really mad. Cheeky mare!!

Just one of those courteousy calls, but you so know it's laced with 'please can we have even more money from you'.

Anyway, I just realised the other day that I am aiming to be debt free by July 2012 and there is more chance of the devil skating on ice than that happening, so i suppose I had better get a shimmy on and stop wishing it would happen an actually make it happen.

Off now to have a quick bath and then quick trip to the shop and then ebay. I have stuff that needs to be got rid off and it's annoying me sitting there looking at me.

Anyway folks, be good have a great day and wish me luck.

LL xx

LexieLou

I'm here, I will be back later today to ramble about absolutley nothing and everything.

Talk later follks.

Me xx

LexieLou

God,

I'm such a plank...met this guy years ago, well over a decade ago and we got on really well. Only down side he was engaged and not to me...so in true gentlymanly form he asked me to marry him, twice and I said no, twice. Needless to say time carried on and we remained friends and nothing more. The spark was always there but was never acted on by either of us. He got married and had 4 kids (to the girl he was engaged to when he asked me to marry him).

So fast forward to a few years ago and I moved back home, we kind of struck up this arrangement that we always would meet every few weeks and have a catch up...then a few months ago we had a wee sneeky snog. Not a very clever move at all and not something I am very proud off, but it has, for me anyway, ratched up the emotional charge edge of the friendship. Even though I have made it very clear that he can't give me what I want, which is a family ( after 4 kids would you want more?)

Anyhow, Fri night I was chatting to someone who knew him and I found out that while he has been claiming he's very boring and has no life, he does infact have a very good life, a life that everyone on here would be jealous about whether or not they have money. So I texted him I knew about his social life etc. and he never denied nor admitted it.

Now I want my life back, I want a man that loves me and respects me enough not to remain married to someone for 11yrs + and still have an emotional attachement to another. The hard bit is actually doing it, because I will miss him, I'll miss our chats, our friendship. But if I think about it properly it isn't a friendship, it's a convenience for him, it's an escapism for his marriage and someone to keep dangling at arms length and pick up and put down as required and I'm that weak willed that I will remain that puppet.

I know what I have to do, I know I have to walk away and have a life that I deserve and meet someone amazing who adores me and thinks that much of me that they aren't afraid to say so...so as he hasn't bothered texting me since last week, do I leave the situation as is, or make a final meeting and tell him exactly what way the land lies and have closure once and for all. Previously these endings have always been done by text and I think that sometimes makes it very easy to fall back into the same old routine when the boredom and loneliness kicks in, which is probably why this has carried on for 11 yrs.

I want 2012 to start on the right foot and not have any baggage lying around...I think I know what to do, but I so wish someone could tell me that I will have the mental strength to stop thinking about him and start to live a life that is worthy of me and not be a doormat for someone else.

And before ANYONE starts, other than the one snog a few months ago nothing has happened since he got married.

So that's me and I'm now off to have a wee cry and attack the bag of Kettle Chips I have beside me.

Lemon_Tree

absolutely no comment to make about the snog, my comment is more along the lines that you deserve to be happy, and have your own fella who will commit to you and will be in YOUR life full time. You will be able to have your own family which is what you want. Most of all you deserve better. If you think you've been catching up with him over the last few years then how come he isn't truely sharing his life with you and you're finding out from others that it's really a different life to what he's telling you.

what does his wife think of your friendship? if he's completely above board with her and you're friends with her as well maybe you should change the emphasis and do more with them as a couple if you still want to keep your links with him.

i supose i always have in the back of my head that do you really want a person who is currently (ok this is an assumption) lying to both his wife and yourself? - No because you're not a worthless nobody! you are a great person who deserves better.

have you gathered there's a theme going on here? hope you get it sorted before you run out of crisps and tissues.

LexieLou

Hi LT,

I know you are right and deep inside I agree with everything you say and it's time to move on. He thought I wasn't good enough for him. He was right, I'm too good for him...I didn't rock up at his front door and tell all to his fiancee or wife. So there.

Still need closure on the whole matter, but I want to be debt free and mr married man free...I hope they are both achievable aims.

Right I'm off to play lets 'rob peter to pay paul' and get some banking juggling done.

Later Mrs LT, and thanks for being a mate. xx

ziggles50

LexieLou wrote: »

God,I'm such a plank...
Now, now missus- we all slip up and that is what this was.
We all do silly things in the search for love.

I know what I have to do,
So do it...now!

I want 2012 to start on the right foot and not have any baggage lying around...I think I know what to do, but I so wish someone could tell me that I will have the mental strength to stop thinking about him and start to live a life that is worthy of me and not be a doormat for someone else.
You know in your heart that you'll be fine- i'm sure you've dealt with a lot more than this before and you'll come out onthe other end knowing even better and clearer what you want and deserve.

.

((((((((((hugs)))))))))))