22 Months to DF-Day - The Race is On!

tirlittan

I'm taking afternoon off today to look at flats with bf! We were going to go with unfurnished as we ideally would like to have our own stuff, but have decided now not to as we don't quite have enough of it to make a nice start and it might be bit too stressful not to have all the furniture.

I don't really know what to think (I think I think too much ). I very much enjoy being with bf and he does enjoy being with me too and it was his idea to move in together, but it's just bit early considering how long we've been together. I mean it could all work out well, but this is something I've wanted for a long time and it's just not quite going in the right order...I must stop worring though, it's all good atm. I just don't want to waste my time again and end up disappointed. But I can't say much yet either as we've not been together that long; is it really only 3.5 months???

tirlittan

I did approach bf with my worries yesterday but he doesn't really see the problem and I just couldn't spell out to him (though I think he does realise what's it all about) that he's 25 and has all his life ahead of him and I'm getting on 32 and want to settle down with someone who wants the same things in life as me.
I feel that we're compatible but then again, who knows....

clearmydebts

tirlittan wrote: »

I'm taking afternoon off today to look at flats with bf! We were going to go with unfurnished as we ideally would like to have our own stuff, but have decided now not to as we don't quite have enough of it to make a nice start and it might be bit too stressful not to have all the furniture.

I don't really know what to think (I think I think too much ). I very much enjoy being with bf and he does enjoy being with me too and it was his idea to move in together, but it's just bit early considering how long we've been together. I mean it could all work out well, but this is something I've wanted for a long time and it's just not quite going in the right order...I must stop worring though, it's all good atm. I just don't want to waste my time again and end up disappointed. But I can't say much yet either as we've not been together that long; is it really only 3.5 months???

Hiya Tir

I think if it is something that your BF suggested then he is obviously quite committed to you. What about his past - has he lived with lots of other GF's?

There is no harm in having a bit of a chat with him, after all - moving in is a big commitment. I had a bit of a chat with my OH after only a month together. It was anything heavy - it was just saying that I wasn't into mind games.

clearmydebts

tirlittan wrote: »

I did approach bf with my worries yesterday but he doesn't really see the problem and I just couldn't spell out to him (though I think he does realise what's it all about) that he's 25 and has all his life ahead of him and I'm getting on 32 and want to settle down with someone who wants the same things in life as me.
I feel that we're compatible but then again, who knows....

I think 25 is a bit of a pivotal age - where you decide to settle down or go travelling etc etc for another few years. When I was 25 I went down the latter route - moving to a new country, going on fancy holidays etc etc. It depends on the person.

My sister is 28 and she has just married her 25 year old BF and they have been together since he was 20. So I think it depends on the person.

You might have to take a chance and tell him how you see the future - you can tell him that this doesn't have to be next year, but you do want it at some stage.

tirlittan

I'm not one to usually panic, but that's what I think I'm doing now. And it's because it looks like I'm finally getting what I want, and it's a bit unexpected. I should be happy really, and I am. But it's also bit weird and bit scary.
But I guess it's because I did what you did when I was 25, I went travelling cos I had itchy feet and I guess I expect other ppl to be the same as me. BF is def active, but he's not a traveller really though.

tirlittan

clearmydebts wrote: »

Hiya Tir

I think if it is something that your BF suggested then he is obviously quite committed to you. What about his past - has he lived with lots of other GF's?

There is no harm in having a bit of a chat with him, after all - moving in is a big commitment. I had a bit of a chat with my OH after only a month together. It was anything heavy - it was just saying that I wasn't into mind games.

Bf's had two gf's in the past and though he wasn't living with them, he did spend half a week at theirs and they half a week at his. So that's obviously how he's wired, he likes spending time with his significant others. He's had a few bad experiences though, like when he decided to move in with his last gf (in a shared house though, not just two of them) she broke it off just when they moved in, and then soon after started going out with someone else...

clearmydebts

It is understandable to be a bit scared about the whole thing. I have only ever lived with OH (only partner I lived, had plenty of flat shares!) and was very scared before we moved in. Sometimes you just have to take the jump!

savingholmes

hi cmd sorry you are having a problem with virgin! Luckily we've never had that problem must be very frustrating

Hi tirl - how did the flat/house hunting go? It is a massive decision. I got married straight out of uni so not much help on that front...

tirlittan

Hiya.
We found a nice terraced place that's on top of our budget but compared to all the others, definitely worth it. It's quite 'cottagey' inside which made feel straight at home. Nice lounge with gas fire and huge dining area open to the living area (plenty of room for our 3 bikes,surf board and all other outdoor 'crap' my bf has ). Kitchen was ok, could do with a new cooker,washing machine and fridge freezer but managable. Huge master bedroom and another good sized double bedroom. Toilet upstairs and bathroom downstairs and a lovely back garden! BF will call about it today unless they get back to us first. It's also a very nice area, and quiet. I'm so excited. Will be a real bummer if we don't get this one,but should know today.

Haven't really told anyone yet,just couple of friends. I actually don't know why I worry sometimes,it feels so right. I've always lived my life without considering the consequences, sometimes it's landed me in trouble but most of the times it's worked well.

clearmydebts

tirlittan wrote: »

Hiya.
We found a nice terraced place that's on top of our budget but compared to all the others, definitely worth it. It's quite 'cottagey' inside which made feel straight at home. Nice lounge with gas fire and huge dining area open to the living area (plenty of room for our 3 bikes,surf board and all other outdoor 'crap' my bf has ). Kitchen was ok, could do with a new cooker,washing machine and fridge freezer but managable. Huge master bedroom and another good sized double bedroom. Toilet upstairs and bathroom downstairs and a lovely back garden! BF will call about it today unless they get back to us first. It's also a very nice area, and quiet. I'm so excited. Will be a real bummer if we don't get this one,but should know today.

Haven't really told anyone yet,just couple of friends. I actually don't know why I worry sometimes,it feels so right. I've always lived my life without considering the consequences, sometimes it's landed me in trouble but most of the times it's worked well.

Will keep my fingers crossed that the cottage works out for you Tir. I always go by gut instincts too. Sometimes it doesn't work out but mostly it does. It also makes life more interesting too!