22 Months to DF-Day - The Race is On!

tirlittan

Thanks Purpleroses. I'm not too bad atm as I kind of prepared myself for it. I knew it was going to happen... Think I'll just concentrate on debt busting and sorting my life for the time being.

Plus I've been true to myself. My 3 biggies to sort this year were
1 - move house
2 - find a better paid job
3 - sort out relationship

Well, 2 out of 3 ain't bad!

clearmydebts

tirlittan wrote: »

That is very true savingholmes.
Trying to keep busy and have plenty to do atm so that is good. Monday is always a training night, Tuesday went for a run with a mate, which was nice for a change, today I think I'm having a rest day, tomorrow been invited to a leaving party with ex colleagues (usually I would've probably turned this down, but it's perfect excuse to go out). Need to decide if I'm going to see friends on Friday and Saturday and then Sunday-Monday we have a beach volleyball tournament.

Have started telling people that I've split up with bf, only because it makes it more real, that it's finished and no going back.

I found it hard to tell people that I had split up with an ex, as that made it more realistic. Has he been in touch with you at all?

Good on you for getting out and about. You will be back on your feet in no time

tirlittan

Yeah, I didn't really want to start telling people either, in case he wants me back or something...;) but then thought better about it. It makes it more real which is bit scary, but probably lets you start to move on as well. My fear is that I'm doing ok now, but it will really hit me later and I'll just get depressed...

I emailed him and he emailed me back, but we kind of agreed not to be in touch for a bit, just to let things settle etc, so I might give it till middle to end of April. Though I might need a cinema date for Tuesday... It doesn't really matter to me,in my mind I'm over him cos I know he won't give me what I want. I'm not one to back peddle either. I just don't know where the boundaries are now. I always go out with people who like doing stuff, are active and outdoorsy, but unfortunately I don't have many friends like that, cos I usually do those kind of things with my oh's.

savingholmes

hugs tirl

2 out of 3 isn't bad and I am sure number 3 can be resolved within the year. I think keeping busy and making time for friends is a good way to go for now...

tirlittan

Hello!
I think I'm going to concentrate on debt busting for the rest of the year. I want to be in a financially better place when I meet someone new, as I do think debt affects your relationships.

Everything's bit up in the air still, but I am starting to make plans. I should be able to pay off my student loan by the end of this year. I've also applied and been accepted for the Santander Zero card (if I ever receive it!), but have no idea what my credit limit will be on it. Then I'll concentrate on clearing the rest that's on Virgin cc atm.

I'm also thinking (seriously) about getting rid of my car. I don't want to, as it feels like I'm giving away part of my independence, but I really can't afford it. I could save about £1000 a year, if not more by not having it. Plus it's on it's last legs, and I can't really afford to fix it anymore. I'm hoping I can sell it, even a little bit from it would be better than nothing, but if I could get at least £350, that would cover the work done to it just before Xmas.

I have some expensive tournaments coming up in the summer, plus I want to go back home for a week or two and I want to save up for a skiing holiday for next season, so it's not going to be plain sailing, but I'm just so fed up of being in debt!

too_much_debt

Hi

Only just found your diary, I am so sorry to hear you split up with your OH, it will take time to get used to being single again, I'm sure Mr Right will turn up when you least expect it and when the time is right, at least you can concentrate on yourself and not have to worry about anyone else.

tirlittan

I find myself in a strange situation as I've already grieved beforehand my doomed relationship. So from that point, I'm feeling fine, but I don't seem to have any 'get up and go' in me unless it's something that someone else has organised. And I don't really want to go back and get my stuff from bf's. There's nothing that important that I can't leave them for awhile, so it's ok, maybe I'll go and collect it end of this month. We've been in touch via email and text, not much but a bit. Don't think I'm ready to talk to him or see him yet though.

I know I need to give myself a bit of time to get used to the situation, but I just want to get cracking, mentally ready for it but not physically. Just seems a waste of time. Didn't do anything really on last Friday or yesterday (did go to see a film with a mate). Saturday went to see friends, Sunday and Monday went on the beach. Now back at work and am supposed to go for a run, but really feel like just going home, eating crap and watching crap tv...

clearmydebts

tirlittan wrote: »

I find myself in a strange situation as I've already grieved beforehand my doomed relationship. So from that point, I'm feeling fine, but I don't seem to have any 'get up and go' in me unless it's something that someone else has organised. And I don't really want to go back and get my stuff from bf's. There's nothing that important that I can't leave them for awhile, so it's ok, maybe I'll go and collect it end of this month. We've been in touch via email and text, not much but a bit. Don't think I'm ready to talk to him or see him yet though.

I know I need to give myself a bit of time to get used to the situation, but I just want to get cracking, mentally ready for it but not physically. Just seems a waste of time. Didn't do anything really on last Friday or yesterday (did go to see a film with a mate). Saturday went to see friends, Sunday and Monday went on the beach. Now back at work and am supposed to go for a run, but really feel like just going home, eating crap and watching crap tv...

Sounds like you are down in the dumps. Nothing wrong with having a bit of 'me' time in front of the TV. You have all the time in the world to get out and about.

tirlittan

I've just booked my flights to go to Finland in July for 15 days!!! Was supposed to be able to spend some time with my sister and maybe go to St Petersburg with her, but we've not communicated very well and I'm there when she has holiday, but she's doing something else. Anyway, loads of family and other friends to see so should be good, really looking forward to it. Flights where only £75 so not too bad.

Still have to book flights for mid August to go back to Finland as have a friend's hen do to attend there. She lives here and is getting married here and will have a hen do here as well, but we have common friends in Finland so will be good to just have a girly weekend then as well!

clearmydebts

tirlittan wrote: »

I've just booked my flights to go to Finland in July for 15 days!!! Was supposed to be able to spend some time with my sister and maybe go to St Petersburg with her, but we've not communicated very well and I'm there when she has holiday, but she's doing something else. Anyway, loads of family and other friends to see so should be good, really looking forward to it. Flights where only £75 so not too bad.

Still have to book flights for mid August to go back to Finland as have a friend's hen do to attend there. She lives here and is getting married here and will have a hen do here as well, but we have common friends in Finland so will be good to just have a girly weekend then as well!

You have lots of things to look forward to!