homemade presents and ungrateful family!!

bubblybee

Can't really add anything different to what everyone else has been saying but just wanted to say that they don't deserve you. Once you have calmly told them that money is tight, you spent a lot of time and effort on them - do not beat yourself up about it. It's their problem not yours.

lolly1981

too be honest i was kind of expecting to be shot down on here...i know there are some lovely people (as proven by such lovely replies)...but i was expecting some sort of..well just cos you made it why should they like it kind of attitude!
thankfully there hasnt been any of that!...maybe he didnt like it cos it was food...and not a basket of stuff...i.e toiletries or something.

i dont want OH to fall out with his brother over this...usually they get on fairly well...but his family are often falling out amongst theirselves, mother doesnt speak to one of here brosthers, OH sister has fallen out with OH other brother...and thinking about it its usually money or lack of involved...hmm seems like i got the best of that bunch...he is so unlike them its crazy!.
but at the end of the day what OH does with regards to it all is his decision.
i think next year we will have dinner at my aunts with teh rest of my family, who want our company. and expect nothing from me!

family...sometimes they drive you crazy!

mrbrightside842

Oh that's so sad and ungrateful! What did he do when you handed back your kids presents?

lolly1981

i dunno...my OH didnt wanta confontation...tehy are all very hot headed and can say things they dont mean in an arguement...he didnt want to wind himself any more...he gave them to his dad to pass back...his brother tried to ring the next day but OH didnt get to the phone in time...wasnt about to call him back incase there was another arguement...no doubt we will find out eventually. think OH wants to calm down first...i think it really hurt his feelings..like i said he doesnt get upset often..this made him cry with hurt and anger!
maybe we're over reacting but i personally would never say to someone that we didnt appreciate their gift and thought it wasnt good enough...no matter how little it was thought about, ...the person giving the gift might have thought it was a good idea. and as i feel its the thought taht counts!

jollymummy

lolly - your gift sounds lovely and your BIL should be ashamed of himself. I am always really pleased to receive home made goodies as I realise the time and thought that goes into them. I'm sorry your OH got so upset Next year make up the hampers and keep them for yourselves oh and print off this thread and stick it in a Christmas card for your BIL, I bet it would be an eye opener for him !!!
Seriously though, whenever friends and family make me something, be it my MILs annual Christmas cake or the lovely scarf my friend made me, I treasure it. It's easy to throw money at people if you've got it but much harder to put your time and love into things. We didn't have much cash to spare this year but DS told my MIL on the phone that he has had a wonderful Christmas and his very favourite toy was a 99p wooden pop gun !!! Hmmmm why did we buy a pirate ship Keep your chin up.

jenhug

I have a solution, send ME the gingerbread!
Seriously, i'd have been made up if someone had put all that effort in for me, it shows thought and time and love and care went into it.

Tootsiepops

I know exactly how you feel, last xmas i made a basket full of nivea stuff for the MIL, creams, lotions, potions, deodarants etc, she opened it an said "oh i don't use nivea" lying cheeky b!tch!!! her bathroom has all kinds of nivea in there!!! any way this year got her a voucher for M&S, an she got me & DH nothing, "shes cutting down", not to worry shes getting nothing next year, cos i'll be cutting down too . I would have been made up if someone had given me home-made gifts, in future don't bother, i'm not you live and learn, :rolleyes:.

Spendless

I can't believe his rudeness.:mad: I also think he sees it that he has spent ££s and you haven't, with no thought to your circs or how much effort and thought is put into something homemade.

Money is tighter than usual at our house and not helped by the fact our people to buy for list has got out of hand - 19 at the last count and something we need to rectify for next year.
I did a similar hamper to lynzpower as I'm not the slightest bit arty or crafty and for a relative that has sleep problems made a sleep hamper, it comprised of taking the bits out of a wilkinsons lavendar gift set about £2.99, couple of bits from £1 shop like a bath pillow, some herbal tea from supermarket and the most expensive thing was Paul Mckennas book I can make up sleep. I was told that the person loved it, knew it had been created by me rather than my husband (hubby's side of family), was their fav pressie and how good they thought I was at buying presents. OTOH a few years back I did a family hamper for other relatives and on asking got told 'well yes ...pause....it was different'. I never bothered again.

I'd also say you won't bother exchanging gifts next year but if you do really want to get something for the kids and you do want to buy rather than make then I'd second the suggestion of looking in Home Bargains.

kr15snw

I've always been one for homemade cards, havent bought a card in a long time (well unless I've forgotten, lol).

This year I spent hours making all the family extra special ones, BUT I didnt make my brother one. Why? Because last year his attitude was 'oh you made it?? You tight sod, can't even be bothered to spend money on your brother' so this year I thought sod him. I added his name to mum and dads (he lives at home), which mum commented on. Once I reminded her of last years comments, she went 'ah'.

I love doing hampers but just didnt have the time this year

Last year money was tight so I bought my brother (not the ungrateful one) a dvd I know he wanted and put it in a school storage box (hes a teacher) with some of his favourite chocolate, popcorn and bottle of coke. He loved it! Was so pleased

Ungrateful brother this year got a cd off his list (he still does one at 31...) as after my efforts last year (he adores his BBQ so I researched and bought him a lovely BBQ prong thing that tells you the temperature of the food, as well as a steak setting for how well cooked the meat is. Didnt cost a lot (about £25) but I spent hours researching it) I got a 'oh its not from my list....' and its never been opened! Even though my dad has mentioned he wants to have a go with it at some point.

Spendless

kr15snw wrote: »

as after my efforts last year (he adores his BBQ so I researched and bought him a lovely BBQ prong thing that tells you the temperature of the food, as well as a steak setting for how well cooked the meat is. Didnt cost a lot (about £25) but I spent hours researching it) I got a 'oh its not from my list....' and its never been opened! Even though my dad has mentioned he wants to have a go with it at some point.

Apologies for going OT but that sounds fab where did you get it? Or what are they called so I can google myself.