The Great Declutter Part 2

LolaLemon

FelinePrincess wrote: »

Just thought I'd join in and say how I sort of understand how it is to have a house full of inherited stuff..

Me and partner live in a very small 2 up 2 down which is way to small for 2 adults and 2 maine coons but on top of that we have pretty much everything that no one else wanted from when my partners grandmother died. She was a hoarder and so is my partner so you can imagine the junk I am stuck with! There is not attic or garage to stick it in so it's overcrowding our very small living space. I am slowly persuading my partner to rehome some things in our quest to have a reasonably tidy house and a bit more space. Last week we got rid of a big, unattractive cupboard which just didn't make good use of the large amount of space it took up - it is now on display in a local charity shop window - which makes me happy as I love seeing my things in charity shop windows!!

We are slowly making progress on our mounds of junk and clutter, although I can't see my OH ever letting me get rid of the large collection of chinese ornaments which belonged to his grandmother - so the mantelpiece and several shelves are covered with cheap chinese ornaments. I wouldn't even mind so much if these were her treasured possessions but I strongly suspect these were just things that she had hoarded and were of no sentimental or financial value so no one else claimed them.

Does anyone else have a partner that is a serious hoarder? My OH had a serious problem with hoarding, fortunately he no longer dares to bring in any new junk but it's still very difficult getting him to part with things. He clearly makes an emotional attachment to random things which should be of no sentimental value. The other day I asked him if I could give a cheap wetsuit which has sat in it's unopened box since he got it a few years ago to my parents so they could use it and he just wouldn't part with it. It is of very little financial value and shouldn't be of sentimental value as it's never been taken out the box!

It is sooo frustrating as all I want is a nice, tidy, clutter free house and I'm only making very slow progress yet I'm getting rid of things every week!

I am a hoarder.
It is a condition (in my eyes/head anyway)
I even know when it started. I was about 9 or 10 when my mum said to me - lets have a clear out i your room and we'll go a nice big shopping trip at the weekend to replace your clothes.
that day we (more like she) got rid of all my cloithes, i was left with school clothes, 1 pair of trainers, 1 pair of jeans, 2 jumpers, 2 t-shirts/tops, 1 set of shorts and t-shirts for dancing. Considering i went to a differnt group/activity every day is fine for 1 week, but i was left like that for months!
She had also cleared out my teddys! gave them to people who where doing a local jumble sale, when i went to see what was for sale, i seen everyone buying my teddies! so i went home, took £5 and went and bought it all back! well what i could as others had got some, i was gutted! (some of them are worth a fortune now! and i said that to her later that day and also this week when i helped her move house and i asked for my bag of teddies)

I totally understand your pain, as i seem to have a split personallity on this issue, i want space adn a tidy home, but i see the usability in everything in my house (if i could remember where it is lol) and im good at seeing the money forma n item, just bad at actually selling it
My parents sometimes come over and clear out for me, at the time, we will have major arguments (im nearly 28, have a 3year old and been living on my own, in 2 different houses for around 7 years) but once they have gone, i feel a lot better about my house, then i go into the blue recycling bin and see what i can salvage, a lot of the time they take bags of stuff to our local recycling depo so i cant, i dont think they know i do this, but im sure they probably suspect i do.

My advice would be to get your partner to go and 'salvage' what he wants from 1 area, and then you go in after and take everything out, sell it, pass it on or take to the recycling centre. do this for every area, day after day til you are happy, you will find he most likely take the same few items around with him and lose some that he started with from the first area.

I have just recently got rid of my school stuff and ive been out for over 10 years now.

My family have threatened me with 'kim and aggie' im not THAT bad, well at least my house is clean, its just got tooooooooo much! lol

FelinePrincess

Hi LolaLemon, thats a very good suggestion with the 'salvaging' - I will definetley give that a try. It's difficult because I feel mean making him get rid of things but it drives me mad that we have so much useless clutter and things we don't need/use. I love knowing that something that I didn't need is getting used by someone else but OH finds giving stuff away painful. It's funny because he has had a much more privileged upbringing then me and didn't want for anything whilst all my clothes were 2nd hand hand-me-downs and my parents are 2 of the most OS people you could meet!

I have read online about hoarding being a recognised condition and hoarders making an emotional attachment with items even if they don't even remember when/where they got the item so I do sympathise with him and how difficult it must be for him to get rid of things it's just I am the complete opposite! I love getting rid of things - I often look round the house trying to spot things I can easily get rid of! I actually really like it when I finish a bottle of bodylotion or bag of flour, ect so I can out the bottle in the recycling or the paper bag on the fire and I know it's one more thing gone!

I think what your mum did to you as a child was unintentionally very cruel - I would have found that extremely upsetting when I was little. Have you ever asked her why she wanted to have the clear out? Well done on keeping your hoarding so under control

MarzipanFish

I'm going to copy

IN
Food
(forgot to get envelopes to post ebay stuff... grr!)
hair bands

OUT
2 x ebay parcels... later today
old phone... all packaged up to send to envirophone, didn't seem worth cashing a £2 cheque so it's going to charity.
receipts, leaflets & other crap left on the sofa arm
overstretched hairbands i should have chucked ages ago


Went out in the snow to get some milk and food for dinner tomorrow but completely forgot the envelopes. It's not far or anything but it's a pita getting all booted up to go out. Didn't appreciate the eye rolling I got for getting 2x 4 pinters of milk... obviously thought I was hoarding for the snow but I always buy it like that. OH uses pretty much an entire pint on his cereal and we drink lots of tea too.

Anyway, we're both hoarders here. OH is a bit tidier but that's just because his clutter is in piles and mine's spread out!
Way too many times have I gone to sort something out to chuck bits and ended up just reading through (old books, paperwork) it or organising it in piles (makeup, clothes, toiletries...) and putting it back! Or i'll earmark something to get rid of then start wearing/using it even if i don't really like/need it and keep it instead

Lola your wardrobe story sounds scary to me!

Considered getting an ebook reader for xmas to help downsize the library but it's just so expensive to buy some books. Lots are more for the file than the actual paperback which is a bit stupid and obviously you cant resell ebooks or buy from charity shops for pittance. If i could 'rip' my existing books onto a kindle then i'd be ordering one right now though!

flipper_2010

I know what you mean about your mum, mine wasn't as bad, she used to sell big things of mine so she could keep the money (she didn't need it, she just didn't like me)
I used to have a bike I loved which she sold and a rocking horse that my now passed on Grandad had made for me when I was a child that I would love to have given to my children to use. Theres that sentimental attachment thing again!
But now because of that, I keep things my grandparents have given me that I really shouldn't as I have way too much stuff.

cooking-mama

Hi guys....I am Cooking-mama.....I am a Hoarder..:o
I hate waste,I always think something will "come in handy",I keep years old receipts/bills etc "just in case"...Oh it goes on and on..But NO MORE,Todays the day...ive read through random posts and i think im gonna try the 100 things in 10 days challenge...I already take my old books to C.S (and buy more when there;)).I bag up decent old clothes and put them in the clothing bin at the supermarkets.(got 3 bags in my car boot right now)..my biggest problem is magazines(i have hundreds,various types..celebrity,weightwatchers/slimming world,womans own/Bella etc etc...they are ALL out of date...so please please convince me Recycling old magazines isnt realy wastefull...Crikey I even have out of date diarys etc..kept because they havent been written in,always planning on using the paper for message lists etc..but never do...recycling these is good Right?,
Also what do you do with those clothes/shoes..not actualy worn out,but maybe not good enough for charity shop to sell/or for Clothing bins to donate?
Well im partialy snowed in,got a day off work,dinners in slow cooker,massive pot of soup in fridge..so no reason not to start right now..Im going to be ruthless..I am realy I am(OMG i feel sick,got the shakes thinking about chucking out...this hoarding truly is an addiction..:rotfl:

dizzybuff

LolaLemon wrote: »

check and see if local schools/groups could use the toiletries - they might be doing boxes for soldiers or poor areas of the world.
Or if you have a homeless shelter/department local, pass to them. (just an idea, if u have the time)




Faggots??? lol

Season offal wrapped in sheeps gut , cooked in onion gravy , not a thing alot of people will eat but they were delish .

Callisto

cooking-mama wrote: »

Hi guys....I am Cooking-mama.....I am a Hoarder..:o
I hate waste,I always think something will "come in handy",I keep years old receipts/bills etc "just in case"...Oh it goes on and on..But NO MORE,Todays the day...ive read through random posts and i think im gonna try the 100 things in 10 days challenge...I already take my old books to C.S (and buy more when there;)).I bag up decent old clothes and put them in the clothing bin at the supermarkets.(got 3 bags in my car boot right now)..my biggest problem is magazines(i have hundreds,various types..celebrity,weightwatchers/slimming world,womans own/Bella etc etc...they are ALL out of date...so please please convince me Recycling old magazines isnt realy wastefull...Crikey I even have out of date diarys etc..kept because they havent been written in,always planning on using the paper for message lists etc..but never do...recycling these is good Right?,
Also what do you do with those clothes/shoes..not actualy worn out,but maybe not good enough for charity shop to sell/or for Clothing bins to donate?

Go on cooking-mama, you can do 100 things in 10 days! My advice is whatever you decide to get rid of - take it to the charity shop/put in the recycling bin asap so you aren't tempted to just put it back where you had it from (although I have been known to fish a couple of things out of the charity bag, just before I get to the shop - not recently though, so must have got a bit more ruthless!)

How out of date are the magazines? Doctor and dentist surgeries may appreciate them if they're not too old or do you have friends/family who will read them? I recycled a few magazines the other day, they dated from 2005! Recycling is definitely better than sending them to landfill or letting them clog up your house! Some charity shops will also accept bags of clothes that aren't good enough to sell, I believe they sell them as rags by weight, might be worth asking at your local shop?

FelinePrincess

cooking-mama wrote: »

Hi guys....I am Cooking-mama.....I am a Hoarder..:o
I hate waste,I always think something will "come in handy",I keep years old receipts/bills etc "just in case"...Oh it goes on and on..But NO MORE,Todays the day...ive read through random posts and i think im gonna try the 100 things in 10 days challenge...I already take my old books to C.S (and buy more when there;)).I bag up decent old clothes and put them in the clothing bin at the supermarkets.(got 3 bags in my car boot right now)..my biggest problem is magazines(i have hundreds,various types..celebrity,weightwatchers/slimming world,womans own/Bella etc etc...they are ALL out of date...so please please convince me Recycling old magazines isnt realy wastefull...Crikey I even have out of date diarys etc..kept because they havent been written in,always planning on using the paper for message lists etc..but never do...recycling these is good Right?,
Also what do you do with those clothes/shoes..not actualy worn out,but maybe not good enough for charity shop to sell/or for Clothing bins to donate?
Well im partialy snowed in,got a day off work,dinners in slow cooker,massive pot of soup in fridge..so no reason not to start right now..Im going to be ruthless..I am realy I am(OMG i feel sick,got the shakes thinking about chucking out...this hoarding truly is an addiction..:rotfl:

As Callisto suggested doctors surgeries really appreciate magazines, or you could offer them on freecycle - I gave away a huuuge pile of magazines on there, think the lady wanted them for art projects. You might get more interest if you sorted them into bundles of each type.

Why not out one of the diary's by the phone and use it for writing down messages and offer the others on freecycle? I'm sure someone would use them!

Yes - do give the scruffy clothes to charity aswell - they will sell them for ragging and not only does it make the charities a bit more money but it saves them from landfill to

Good luck with the clear out!


I have sorted a few more things to put on ebay tonight, I've also got a magazine rack to take to the charity shop and will do some more sorting later

LolaLemon

FelinePrincess wrote: »

Hi LolaLemon, thats a very good suggestion with the 'salvaging' - I will definetley give that a try. It's difficult because I feel mean making him get rid of things but it drives me mad that we have so much useless clutter and things we don't need/use. I love knowing that something that I didn't need is getting used by someone else but OH finds giving stuff away painful. It's funny because he has had a much more privileged upbringing then me and didn't want for anything whilst all my clothes were 2nd hand hand-me-downs and my parents are 2 of the most OS people you could meet!

I have read online about hoarding being a recognised condition and hoarders making an emotional attachment with items even if they don't even remember when/where they got the item so I do sympathise with him and how difficult it must be for him to get rid of things it's just I am the complete opposite! I love getting rid of things - I often look round the house trying to spot things I can easily get rid of! I actually really like it when I finish a bottle of bodylotion or bag of flour, ect so I can out the bottle in the recycling or the paper bag on the fire and I know it's one more thing gone!

I think what your mum did to you as a child was unintentionally very cruel - I would have found that extremely upsetting when I was little. Have you ever asked her why she wanted to have the clear out? Well done on keeping your hoarding so under control

I dont think she done it intentionally, i just wasnt top of the pecking order at that time, i think my sister was was around 1 year old, so she came 1st, and as i hated going in the town, i couldnt pick stuff myself, or be there to remind here to buy me something.
The teddies was just her way of having a clear out, i wasnt into toys, more books and boardgames, they where in a cupboard out the way, just i had millions of teddies, all over my room... i understand why she done it, but really she should ahve given me my place and asked me to help her...

from all this i hoard my sons stuff but lately ive been telling him that if i find toys on the floor then they will get brushed up and put in the bin, soo he now helps me, puts his toys out the way and gives me toys he doesnt want anymore, my only problem is now i have a bag of random toys that im not going to chuck out, id rather sell, just cant be bothered with wasting my time on ebay when ive got essays to write - hoping next week will be better as i finish uni this week for christmas

I'll need to look into hoarding as a recognised condition, just where am i going to find time inbetween clearing out, christmas prep, and nursery lol

Good Luck on your quest, maybe if you sell the stuff and put the money into one of those glass banks (remember the cola bottle ones? sure i have one somewhere lol) and he might get addicted to seeing the money growing

Sagaris

Well I just got ruthless.......

4 bags of clothes to be charity shopped at the weekend - plus assorted platters and dishes etc - I bought them here when I moved in 13+ years ago and never used them - so I won't miss them!

That's only from our bedroom - got the other one to do at some point - best not leave it too long as I want the house spick and span for Christmas - my Mum is staying over..... :eek: